Posted by Sadsack on March 4, 2003, at 20:26:27
In reply to Hey Sadsack » Sadsack, posted by bozeman on March 3, 2003, at 22:51:04
I understand crazy. I am not through purging my own house or I would help you :-) I took on a 2 year old stack of filing this weekend. It's amazing what you don't even have to file after 2 years. Next up is the "spare room" (aka the junk room).
I guess you could call it a slump. I characterize it as "quiet desperation" It's disconcerting at best. I wish I knew what would help. I hate to think of going higher than 20mg on the lexapro. I'm not even sure that'd help. The good news is that I am not thinking about driving my car off any cliffs (a plus), I am very functional (also good) and I am overall much better than I have been. I just keepng feeling "alone in my own house" (you couldn't have said that any better). He's a good guy and you're probably right. I'd love to understand his motivation better but at this point it would take a Vulcan Mind Meld because I just don't have the energy to force out any true confessions and I am feeling too vulnerable to beg for his attention (although I could really use a little TLC). Maybe there are some things I just shouldn't hope for and then I wouldn't be disappointed? Does this make any sense or am I being goofy? (It IS PMS week so that is possible-I really get pathetic sometimes yegads).
I sound so whiney UGH! Feel free to tell me so!
I would also benefit from an all expense paid vacation to some tropical locale but I probably have about a snowballs chance in Puerto Rico of that happening too!
Anyways, appreciate your interest and any advice would be appreciated.
> Hi Sadsack!
> Sorry, things have been way crazy in my world, with no end in sight. Still have to decide what to do about the boyfriend. :-( Still sick, kitty's still recovering, has to be doctored twice a day and he's all MALE and all CAT, so that's quite a deal. :-) So I haven't been following things over here quite as closely as I used to.
> How are you feeling these days on the Lexapro? You say you've been on it since November? Have you had continued good results or have you hit a plateau or slump of sorts? (not saying you would, just wondering how it goes. I've been on Lexapro about as long as you -- about as long as anyone, I suppose, since it only became available last year.)
> I understand about the husband thing. Sometimes it's hard to feel alone in your own house, but at least you two share a great many things, even if not fighting your depression together in the emotional sense (though I'm sure you fight it together in the physical sense.) I think that some people, not specifically men, don't know how to deal with really scary things (i.e. things they can't readily fix or run away from) so they just "deny" their existence, like whistling in the dark so no one will know you're afraid. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about those things, it just means he doesn't know how to express himself, what to do, how to act, how to feel, etc. so it's easier to just avoid dealing with it. Maybe being pleasant and easygoing is the thing he thinks will help the most, since he doesn't know what else to do?
> Post back if you wish -- I try to pop in and read every few days even if I don't have the time or strength to type responses.
> BTW, if you get realllly bored . . . . you can come over and help me have a "throwing away" party, too!!! <chuckle>
> Take care and be well!