Posted by Silly Brain on September 22, 2002, at 1:37:58
In reply to Re: Unresponsive to SSRIs? What worked?, posted by viridis on September 21, 2002, at 1:19:24
> Hi again Silly B,
> When you're depressed, everything seems negative, so I'm not surprised that things seem so bleak to you. I've been there dozens (probably hundreds) of times. But good psychiatric treatment is different from using street drugs in several ways.
> First of all, you actually know what you're getting (whether it works for you or not).
I'll agree with you there.
> Second, you have expert advice to help you choose the appropriate medication(s). Of course, you have to be persistent in finding an expert who understands your condition, but if you look hard enough you'll find one.
That's just bullshit in my case. Guess what I found out today? I work in a hospital, and I was reading the nurse's guide to drugs, and looked up Serzone, which I've been on for a year. My doctor told me to take two pills once a day rather than one twice day - that it didn't matter. It damn well does matter! I confirmed this with a pharmacist and looked it up in the PDR. Serzone only has a half life of 2-4 hours! I'm SO MAD! In 10 hours, it's gone from your body and I'm taking it every 24! That MORON!
> Third, the goal with psychiatric drugs isn't to get high, or obliterate yourself or your true personality, it's just to feel normal.
> This really is possible, but it will almost certainly take some trial and error.
I'm losing faith in the possibility. Definiltey losing patience.
> There's a huge range of options available, and they may seem overwhelming. But you can find a solution that will allow you to enjoy life without intolerable side effects. It's really hard when everything seems so hopeless, but you have to keep trying. I nearly gave up on various occasions, but I finally found a combination that (so far at least) works very well.
I can only hope I can acheive the same. I cannot tell you how MUCH I've been trying to get real treatment and how much I've been getting crap instead.
> The fact that you're seeking advice here indicates that you really want to get well, and you can. It may take a huge push on your part to get there -- and this is very difficult when you feel so miserable -- but you owe it to yourself to make the effort. It's worth it when you finally succeed. Also, it's good that you're angry instead of complacent. Why shouldn't you be angry? It's unfair that you have this illness, but great that you want to fight it.
This is what pisses me off - why can't shrinks do their jobs? Why the hell do I have to do it for them? This is what makes them little different than drug pushers. I say I feel like crap. They say "Try this" and they only vaguely know what it is or what it will do to me.
> Don't give up, and don't let the depression > take over and falsely convince you that your > situation is hopeless, because it isn't.
Thank you for your support. Though I really think that if I could do that, then I don't need meds, do I? And I think I can do that, you understand. I think that self-reliance is a much better hope than drugs at this point.