Posted by amy_oz on September 15, 2002, at 20:52:56
Hi,
I'm new here, thanks for making this such a fantastic forum. I just wanted to share my story and ask a couple of questions.I live in Aussie and went home to New Zealand recently to visit the family. A few days before I was about to leave I got food poisoning and couldn't eat for a few days. I ended up making it to the dept. lounge and had a massive panic attack ( I didn't know what it was) and ended up in emergency. They said I was dehydrated and sent me home. Over the next few days I couldn't eat, sleep and started hyperventilating whenever I was left alone, tried to sit up or read. A visit to the doctor saw me sent home with tranqs. They helped but I was a bit freaked out about using them after some horror stories from my friends. Over the next few weeks I slowly managed to control the panic but it was replaced by an aching suicidal anger and loneliness which retriggered the panic attacks. I was rediagnosed with depression, started on 20 mg paroxetine (called Aropax here) and slowly stopped having the panic attacks and with the help of a very good psychologist realised I had been cycling in and out of anxiety/depression for 5 years.
Heres the weird bit. When I started the meds ( 6 weeks ago) I was ridiculously sad and was convinced that I would never be happy again. But after a week or so on Aropax I became convinced that the world was ending (don't ask), then I became convinced that there was no point to all life in general. After 6 weeks thats lessened a bit and I'm now back at work very part time but I can't help feeling extremely detached and surprised about my existance and the the world in general. I'm sick of it!!! I quite frankly want to go back to simply living (by the way my sister's answer is to find God, which is all well and good for her but not so good for an atheist, I can't just suddenly pretend that I believe in anything). Now I'm back in Australia and having trouble finding a good psychologist that isn't booked out until next year.I'm thinking about cutting down on the Aropax and picking up SAM-e and have also started ridiculous amounts of B vitamins and fish oil, meditation, exercise, good food and yoga. Any other suggestions?
Hope you are all having a good day,
Amy
poster:amy_oz
thread:119967
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020914/msgs/119967.html