Posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:47:57
hi all. thank you to those who replied to my post about my hospitalization. I need as much support as I can get right now.
I am really struggling with blame and responsibility and victimization now. In my PHP today, the therapist said that I may be using depression to get something. I really don't think I am...the only thing I can think of is to use it as an excuse to isolate. Everything else does not apply to me...I want to be able to do things, I don't want people to pity me, I don't like attention, I get embarrased about being sick...so I don't know. They tell me I need to learn coping skills, and I get that...I really do...but how can I when this depression is like a cloud over me that I can not (not will not...CAN NOT) get from underneath...First I have them telling me that it's not my fault and that I have an illness, then that I need to get myself out of it after they tell me that you can't just snap out of depression...I'm just confused and frustrated now. I don't want to act like a victime and I know a lot of my problems are self-inflicted...but most are as a result of how I handled my depression, which is my reponsibility...I am just annoyed that I feel I am being blamed for my illness. Please help.
Thank you.
poster:EmilyAnn
thread:113825
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020725/msgs/113825.html