Posted by Iago Camboa on April 28, 2002, at 10:17:13
In reply to Re: don't freak out II » Iago Camboa, posted by Elizabeth on April 26, 2002, at 19:27:11
Hi Elizabeth,
> Ahh -- for depression, then?
I guess so, yes. But also to 'enjoy' fully an 'enervating' feeling of danger (that was in 'the air' almost everywhere) and a little feeling 'of power' too, I think. 'Adrenergic effects?' may be...
> MAOIs can be kind of disinhibiting, and sedative-hypnotics are too, of course. I expect that's why you got aggressive on them.
One way or the other, I gave up drinking - and smoking - altogether and I think I'm no more 'aggressive', perhaps only a little 'assertive' now & then...
> Where were you at the time, and where are you from? (I assume your father was in your home country?)
You assumed right.
I was born & bred in Portugal and I was in the military, serving in Angola (West Africa) during the ending days of Colonial Portuguese Administration there (the exact point in time was Aug.-Sep.1975, the very same year of American withdrawal from Vietnam and when chronical anarchy almost draw us into a bloody Civil War in [Continental/European] Portugal). I belonged to the 'better-dead-than-red' faction. I was only a (2nd.)lieutenant but I think I was one among 'the good ones' (and thankgod there were many of those) and had NO doubt I would be able to conquer a whole province IF I was given 100 men chosen by myself. Many of my comrades (in arms) who were in Angola thought perhaps the same...The Portuguese troops were NOT at war with any of the 3 armed factions which were bitterly & bloodly disputing between themselves the control of the territory. We were oftentimes the 'sole protectors' of the routed factions and litteraly saved hundreds of lives from 'certain' massacres (POW, there were no such thing...): we took their weapons, offered them shelter and food, and 'negotiated' with the winners of the day their destinies - deportations most of the time...
I was at the time in the second largest city of Angola -Nova Lisboa, 'New Lisbon', now Huambo (which had been indeed its (native) former name). I said we were not at war but, you know, there were too many weapons in the city and 'safety' was a laughable word, lootings and murders were not uncommon and fightings in bars or pubs with dead people were constant: we controlled perhaps 2/3 of it, the remaining 1/3 having been divided into 2 parts between the local 'winners' (the 3rd faction having been driven out of business there and deported to another town where the situation was the reverse).> You did right. MAOI withdrawal symptoms can be very unpleasant, to say the least. I've often thought that amphetamine would probably be a good substitute in a pinch, too.
It was indeed a pinch and amph proved to be safe, reliable and of sustained and never fading effects (at least during that remarkable period of time). I don't know why, but I miss sometimes those 'risky' happy days. I visited even a few times, alone, the 'bars' were the Portuguese officers weren't supposed to enter, in the very heart of the zones controlled by the Blackmen's guerrilas, under the pretext to have friendly conversations with their leaders. I was always treated with respect and gentlemanship by those tough men. I knew the shooting of a Portuguese officer would be a 'serious' thing not to be undertaken by anyone in their right mind, but at 5 a.m. amidst large amounts of alcohol and clouds of smoke, who could be certain of anything? And I needed to feel the 'smelt of danger'. I think I got addicted to the 'adrenaline' released in my blood in those moments...
> What do you mean by "sports medicine?" (Recreational use, just for fun? Performance enhancement? Both? Something else?)
I mean by 'sports medicine' a stimulating drug I use with 'moderation', for fun and not on a regular basis. But I would better describe its nature using the words a great French author (Stendhal) used to define 'Art'. 'Art', he said, 'is a promise of happiness' (or 'a pledge' or 'an assurance', if you prefer).
> I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the adrafinil. Have you every taken modafinil, and if so do you know how the two drugs differ? (While many people find modafinil useful as a stimulant or antidepressant, I've never heard anyone use the phrase "communion with all Nature" in describing it.)
I think I should better put 'harmony' in the place of 'communion', a feeling of peace toward whatever lives around us. No, I havn't taken modafinil but I will and I promise you'll be the first to know what I think about.
Take care.
Iago
poster:Iago Camboa
thread:103502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020425/msgs/104357.html