Posted by Ponder on April 11, 2002, at 12:17:09
In reply to Re: The price you pay for hypomania, posted by crepuscular on April 11, 2002, at 11:28:32
Wow! You write well and have much to say. Can you elaborate on this idea of arrested evolution to adulthood? Also, the "quasi-narcissism" of "being caught up in the cresting wave"?
I was talking with a casual friend of mine last night whose father is bipolar. Amy longs for her father's love, but feels she never gets it. When he is hypomanic, of course, he just loves her to death. But he loves everybody else and everything else as well and Amy knows it is not "real". Then when he's depressed...well, we don't need to go there.
I think the self-involvement that accompanies any mental illness is one of the worst things about it. During periods of euthymia, you see what you really could be to others, to your community, but it is not sustainable unless you are one of the lucky ones who finds effective long-term treatment.
For me, Lamictal, Wellbutrin SR and vagus nerve stimulation are working well for now. Been through too many relapses to trust this one until a year or two has gone by. Still struggle with hypomanic tendencies and anxiety, but find them fairly easy to control, for now, with Ativan.
(Gotta work some med stuff into this message to avoid redirect).I really want to hear more about your ideas.
> if only the price were pecuniary!!
>
> i have found that the price is also social and developmental. time wasted on crazy relationships, pursuing wacky schemes (but you do learn a lot) and not passing through the phases of evolution to adulthood with your peers.
>
> but this is not all bad, provided the depressions don't kill you. i do have to say my hypomanias have provided me with a broad range of knowledge and the laterality to spontaneuosly "connect the dots" during conversations. have also been through periods of *intense* musical productivity which have been of benefit to others.
>
> what i think sucks about bipolar mania/hypomania is the quasi-narcissism of the state. you're so sucked up into this cresting wave of awesomeness that nothing and nobody else compares to the "big picture." this does damage to other people but you just can't see it at the time.
poster:Ponder
thread:102030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020408/msgs/102764.html