Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 16:30:22
In reply to Re: SSRIs and Paraphilias, posted by Ponder on March 26, 2002, at 12:01:49
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. My sense was that this is not just a nice guy with a problem. . .but you already knew the other side of it! Actually, the real red flag for me is that he doesn't feel sexual, or even want anything in return. I would really be sure that was just SSRI side effects; if it's an issue of longstanding, then, intuitively, it seems tied in with the essential passive/aggressive nature of the act--which bodes nothing but trouble for you, in the long run. It takes two to make a relationship, and to make love. Know what I mean?
If he's in recovery, it's your call, and I would let your gut sense be more of a guide than perhaps a guy is used to, for it's trying to tell you something. Hey, I've been attracted like crazy to people who couldn't help but break my heart.
Is he really truly in therapy? Did he have a rotten childhood--or is he hard-wired this way? Seems to me he'd have to be willing to dig back thru some very early experiences, and that's a big commitment. If he can commit to himself and his recovery--that's how much he can commit to you.
Maybe not fool around anymore until issues are clearer? Sure befuddled my head.
Lemme know,
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:91182
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/100328.html