Posted by Angel Girl on March 20, 2002, at 14:42:41
In reply to Re: How do you deal with the loss of friends??? » Angel Girl, posted by JANNBEAU on March 20, 2002, at 12:43:09
> > > > ...waiting for my next fix, to fix my vision til it's nixed,
> > > > Try to cry but my tears just get lost in the rain,
> > > > Nothing left to do but drink away the pain...
> > >
> > > is that you angel girl? i went to bed just past 12:00 am if it is you i/m sorry i wasn't here to say hello.
> > >
> > > if this is you thank you for touching base with us and just know that sometimes we have to go that deep to come up again (thinking of it as swimming right now - you are failing in the water and figuring out how is it that you swim (it;s like riding the proverbial bike you never forget once you get back on) with graceful strokes rather than with failing arms ( you are still here ((failing arms)) but hold on becasue you are almost there to begin swimming again (i went through what you are going through many years ago so yes i do know what i am talking about and not just experienced it once but many times)
> > >
> > > anyway, i am going to church this am (to have my pastor fill out my daughter's birth registration) so while i am there and i figure since i am going to be as close to god as one can get today! i will ask that he say a prayer for you angel girl. i hope this is ok, i too will also say a prayer that you may start to heal.
> > >
> > > i hope to talk to you soon
> > >
> > > i am in and out all day but will check these posts to look for you ok, so if you feel like it just give another little post so i know you saw this.
> > >
> > > peace
> > > your friend
> > > shanti
> > Hi Shanti
> > No, that's not me. I've been taking a few days to work on what I've done to my friendships. I booked an emergency therapy session yesterday as well. I am doing much better now. I am of a totally different mindset than I was when I posted in desperation. I am taking full responsibility for my actions and have let my friends know that. I acknowledge the pain and worry I have put them through too. However, I now have to deal with my pain and regret for what I have done to them. That will take much longer. I am no longer going to contemplate suicide as a reaction to any of my problems. As I said, I am not the same person I was a week ago. I know I'm not perfect and that I will encounter setbacks but I'm learning and realizing the impact my actions and thoughts have on the people I love.
> > I thank you for your prayers. They are greatly appreciated. That is very sweet and thoughtful of you.
> > Your friend
> > Angel Girl
> Angel Girl:
> We are all SO PROUD of YOU!! Hang in there! GREAT START: Responsibility for one's actions will lead to responsibility for one's feelings. Check out the websites for Cognitive Therapy. One of the major tenets of CT seems to be, if I remember correctly: without a thought there is no emotion. Said another way, every emotion is preceded by a thought. It is the thought that generates the emotion. Think about it (no pun intended)! I often use a technique called "thought stopping" which helps me to deal with negative emotions (I worry incessantly about my children--and they're adults with children of their own!). I tell myself "NO" I will NOT think this negative thought" and it stops bothering me for a little while. I often have to tell myself multiple times to stop thinking the thought. None of us on the site want you to feel "pain and regret" for what you "have done to us." All you did was to give us a chance to acknowledge you and to let you know that we're out here thinking about you (each of us thinks of the others) and a chance to think of someone else rather than ourselves. For that, I personally thank you. I spend far too much time thinking about my own problems.
> Another thing: Don't think about "guilt" as it isn't, in this instance, productive and you don't need to FEEL "guilt"--so just do the "thought-stopping" thing so that you can get on with your healing. Keep us abreast of your progress.
> Jannbeau (nym)
That was very sound advice that you gave me. I will try to do that when I feel negative thoughts coming on. I'm also going to check the net for sites on cognitive therapy as you suggested. I'm very new to therapy, I've actually only had the one session so far. Most of my thoughts are negative, hence where I am today. I have a long road ahead of me to recovery and I'll be applying your advice that you gave me. I thank you for that! :)