Posted by Simcha on January 31, 2002, at 9:05:34
In reply to Re: Sex All the Time..., posted by ethan on January 31, 2002, at 4:50:36
>The perspective is simply this: your sex drive is normal for You whatever it is (this is assuming you are not on medication). When you alter the drive with medication you alter what is "normal" for you, but nobody is categorically "oversexed" no matter what any doctor might try to claim. Sex addiction, or being oversexed is (I believe, and because we're all about our own opinions here I feel it's valid to state this) a cop out by the medical community in acknowledging that some individuals (perhaps Many individuals) feel a need to engage in sexual activity more frequently than is considered socially acceptable by today's puritanical American standards.
Um, OK... Where to begin? Hmm...
I have sexual OCD. And let me tell you, it is not necessarily the frequency that counts or even the drive. The whole issue boils down to whether or not your life becomes unmanageable.
Without meds and without program I would have 10+ sexual encounters with 10+ different people on any given night. (Weekends were best but sometimes the overwhelming compulsion drove me out on weekdays to do this. Try working the next day when you have been out all night sexing!)
This means, and I've counted this up once, that I've had 1000+ sexual partners and more sexual escapades than that. Would you consider this healthy? What's worse is that choice is eliminated from the process of decision making around sexual activity for me when I was untreated. This openned me up for the possibility for contracting many diseases (some deadly), physical abuse, being robbed, and being brutally murdered. I'd have sex anywhere. On rooftops, in alleys, in parking lots, in parked cars on the Lakefront (Michigan-Chicago), under "L" tracks, in every room of a house, in pubic toilets, in outhouses, in parks, in forest preserves, in leather bars, in adult bookstores, and in bath houses. My case was particularly severe.
>This becomes even more complicated when a person is engaged in a sexual relationship with a partner whose sex drive does not match his/her own.Oh, yes, this is frustrating. My "normal" healthy sex drive is less than that of my current partner's sex drive. Yes I'm on meds. I do believe that my sex drive is finally about normal. I'm a little supressed but I'm adjusting more and more to my meds and I believe that the ginko helps. My partner and I discuss it openly and yes sometimes there is tension. I'm still learning what is healthy for me.
>Each person's needs are different; there is no "norm" when it comes to sexual needs and gratification (especially when a person's individual sexuality, tastes, fetishes (if any) and so forth are taken into consideration). I felt obligated to mention this as I think the whole "sex" issue is one which puritanical American culture and organized religion have attempted to force into molds which are decidedly INhuman and not at all realistic.
I agree with this completely. America is way to puritanical. My healthy sexual appetites are not considered "normal" or even socially acceptable at this time. (Homosexual) We are all different and our sexual differences make life all the more spicey and interesting. I enjoy the creativity of meaningful and healthy sexual encounters these days.
I'm hoping that I'm going to stay in complete remission....
Simcha.
poster:Simcha
thread:92301
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020131/msgs/92351.html