Posted by BarbaraCat on January 10, 2002, at 14:26:12
In reply to Re: Adrafranil, huh? » BarbaraCat, posted by IsoM on January 10, 2002, at 1:05:56
Your 'flitting butterfly' symptoms and unfinished projects experiences sound like they've got my name on them - how I can relate. In my spells, I cycle from vegetative melancholy to panic with shades of ADHD. It's a neurological hereditary illness that comes on of it's own accord but is made much worse and maintained by stress and worry. The anxiety stems from the very real possibility of not surviving in this world if this terrible illness is not managed (it hits me out of the blue). I was in a high stress high tech analyst job which I can no longer do and it's hard to get a leg up when I'm currently unemployed (as is my husband) and I keep cycling from just plain ol' normal health and enthusiasm to paralyzing physical pain, depression and fear/panic. If I can stay in the moment (an ongoing spiritual practice) it's manageable, but it's too easy to get pulled into panic when taxes, bills, and house stuff don't get done and more life stress piles up, etc., etc., and I'm just too sick to deal with them. I feel like if I can just maintain a lasting inner spark, a good even clean energy and a sense of optimism, then I can handle things, I can plan, I can make my way, create and build a good and fulfilling life. I can't do any of these things when I never know when I'm going to be literally laid flat. So I'm going to give adrafinil a try. In the meantime I'm taking extra amino acid L-Tyrosine which seems to be helping. Thanks for your help.
> I honestly can't say how adrafinil would affect your anxiety. It probably depends on the reason you feel anxiety. I'm sure it's like a headache - not the actual disease but just a symptom of something else. My anxiety might stem from an entirely different brain chemistry than yours.
> I don't feel flat on ADs as many say they do. I can feel real joys & ecstasy (the feeling, not the streetdrug) but I feel so up & down. Not bipolar at all but my moods can swing so often & so quickly. I don't get angry but feel bleak & focusless (if there's such a word). I'll have great ideas & projects to do (real ones that can be accomplished normally) but few things come to fruition. I don't have any staying power which really bothers me. I need constant stimulation to maintain my enthusiasm whether from other people or whatever. But I can't seem to maintain things simply on their own. I feel like some mad butterfly flitting from one flower to another.
> I didn't even realise at first that the adrafinil was changing anything like that. It's subtle & gentle. I just started finishing what I started. I noticed at the end of a day, I'd actually have something to show for all my mad rushes of energy. And I accomplished it without running around like a chicken with its head cut off like I normally do. People normally think I'm so psyched out & hyper when I do anything but a few friends started to comment that I seemed so much calmer & relaxed.
> Anyway, I order my adrafinil from overseas - a British company. I checked around & most sites offer about the same prices. I'm sure they're still making a good profit from it but at least it's not expensive like modafinil (Provigil).
> I normally need to take 2 Gravol about 1 1/2 - 2 hours before bed to start calming & slowing me down so I can sleep. The last week I was on adrafinil, I stopped taking the Gravol to see if I could fall asleep & I did. Took a little longer than normal, but when I did sleep, I slept much better. Once I even slept the whole night through. This is honestly the only time I ever remember doing that.
> > Hmmm, I heard of adrafinil a few years ago as a nootropic and was very interested in it. It definitely sounds like worth a try. Can you tell me where you got it? In other words, is it a US prescription or one that you got via overseas mail order? Question: how would it affect a tendency to careen into anxiety when stressed (there are MANY MANY in my life right now)and a past history of panic disorder (not been a problem for last 2 years)? I would plan to use it with a reduced dose of Remeron. Remeron has worked wonders (when it worked), but my intuition is telling me that the norepinephine pathway this drug affects is what I need. I will also continue Ambien for sleep (not even Remeron will knock me out).
> > One of the most frustrating effects of this illness is how it robs me of the energy/motivation/ability to maintain my life and creativity. The circuits don't connect, I start planning my life but can't maintain any enthusiasm, get sick and end up dropping out altogether. It's this never being able to follow through or honor commitments or predict my future health that keeps me in despair of ever getting better. I will present this to my pdoc, but am determined to go ahead with it no matter what his take may be. He has not been able to offer anything that's working. In fact, many of the 'smart drugs' show much promise. Another reason to be proactive in our own health. Thanks to all for your suggestions.