Posted by IsoM on January 9, 2002, at 13:46:33
In reply to Re: Just an update to my 3 weeks-Dee » MaKi, posted by dee on January 9, 2002, at 8:07:01
Dee, when you write your posts here, we have no trouble understanding you. Admittedly, we also have depression - that's why we're here. But why not write a 'letter' to your husband to explain?
Whenever I've had trouble in the past trying to explain myself due to emotions getting in the way (like breaking down in tears or feeling rising tensions & shouting instead), I've sat down & composed a letter explaining how everything is. It's taken a while to write because I'll go back & edit & edit. I want the person to know how I'm REALLY feeling & thinking, not just how I appear to them at the moment. I used to pour out my soul easier on paper than in person. Now, thankfully, I can do it in person calmly too. I think the writing helped with that part.
If you write instead of talk, you can make sure there's no interruptions or angry words, or accusations - simply how you feel & why. Leave a note at the end of the letter saying it would probably be better for your husband to reply in writing for this time anyway with any questions or ideas or his feelings too. He may be feeling a lot of anxiety, uncertainty, & sadness/anger over this too that might be good for him to express.
After a couple of letters passed back & forth between yourhusband & you (& it doesn't hurt ot leave ittle reminders at the end that you do love him), & you both may come to a far better understanding of each other.
*Please* let me know what you think of this idea. I tried it with my husband then but he refused to respond. He never would talk or open up with me, no matter what. That's one reason we're separated. But it worked beautifully with my sons & I have a close, warm relationship with them at least.
poster:IsoM
thread:88887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020103/msgs/89450.html