Posted by sid on December 26, 2001, at 21:10:13
In reply to Re: Depression Marriage Kids, posted by spike4848 on December 26, 2001, at 19:12:44
Well at least you're a man ! You don't have to stop taking the meds to have children while women do. How about that for yet another advantage ! Plus you can have kids at just about any age. Life is not fair that way.
I do think about all that myself. I am tough on myself and will not have children until I am rid of depression. Actually, won't have a boyfriend either until I am rid of depression. If I don't get to that point in time (I only have a few more child-bearing years ahead of me !), then I will not have children. I am not saying everybody should do that - that's just the choice I've made given my values and experiences. I wish my parents had dealt with a number of issues before they had kids, so I will not do the same to yet another generation. Some people can handle it all at once, I don't think I can.
As for the genetics: I think that knowing the risks, I can raise children better, using behavioral and cognitive therapy techniques to help them avoid depressive episodes; that's because I used those myself. I would be very sad however if that did not work. I tend to think that my parents should perhaps not have had children at all, but thay had no idea they had this genetic background... back then, they just thought there was a lot of grumpy people in their families... Now we know better.
All this to say, you're not the only one to think about this.
Your future wife and fairness... as long as you are honest with her about all this, and as long as you think she knows what depression is (she has a good idea of how bad it can get and what it can do to you), then it's her decision. As in any relationship, be honest, and then let people knowingly make their decisions. If you find someone you love, who loves you enough to marry you knowing the risks, jump in. You cannot be responsible for others - depression makes us feel like we should be responsible for the world, but take this out of your head right now.
Anyway... that's way too serious for a Dec 26... I need to sleep.
poster:sid
thread:87893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011222/msgs/87914.html