Posted by ArtChee on December 10, 2001, at 10:51:04
In reply to Re: Adderall - I take 10 or 20mg twice a day, posted by cmcdougall on December 10, 2001, at 9:22:37
> Since I have only been on the Adderall and desipramine for a week, I don't know how long this euphoric feeling will last. Forever I hope.
I am glad that the Adderall has offered you relief. I just started taking Adderall 2 weeks ago. Last Friday I was considering building a shrine to Addrall and seeking contributors. During these 2 weeks I have also been reducing my dosage of EFFEXOR & came off of it completely this last Saturday. BOY! am I wiped out today! It is my presumption that the affects of coming off the Effexor have GREATLY reduced the positive effects of the Adderall. I am having trouble keeping my eyes open, and am incredibly listless. "ALL THINGS WILL PASS."
After exasperating experiences with 8 of the most popular antidepressants over the last three years, and 10 months of "no clue" psychotherapy, and being at the lowest point in my life - with NO motivation & forcing myself to do little things that I can manage, I HOPE that I have come to a RELAVATION of a life time. I would like to share it here.
With my frustration with my therapy not "going anywhere," I picked up an old book at the house, THE SECRET STRENGHT OF DEPRESSION; and a more recent one, THE SEAT OF THE SOUL. The old book pointed out that Depression is an "opportunity to change." The SEAT OF THE SOUL showed me that I for all of my life I have been "fighting windmills" in my efforts to control my external circumstances in order to construct a productive "me" that would provide for my family and contribute to my community. This struggle has provided for my family, but has been a great strain on me. I have been in great pain that I was not becoming the "whole person" that I desired to be. Repeated frustrations, and re-grouping for continued "attacks" at the goal of self fulfillment fell short time and again to the point desperation and of loss of ALL motivation. This led me back into therapy given up on many years ago.
Three months of being "out of the loop" of what was happening, or SUPPOSED to be happening in therapy, and feeling that I was STILL in square one, prompted me to send the therapist a letter of resignation. He responded with a phone call requesting that we get together to at least discuss it. I returned, but with no idea of what it was about. Would have quit a couple of more times since, but this generous therapist has apparently ceased charging for his hour with me. All I understood was that I need to "get in touch with my anger." The only anger I could see was the anger at my failures, that causes my depression. The SEAT OF THE SOUL explains that this emotional pain is the result of the blockage of the expression of my true self as I have attempted to MAKE myself into something, rather than allowing myself to BE my TRUE self. My 1957 high school class moto was, "Know thyself, Accept Thyself, BE Thyself."
I have never understood religion, but respect it. I DO KNOW that there is a POWER within us that is greater than the individual, that is responsible for the ALL of the wonders we see around us - natural AND manmade. I am beginning to see that the wonders that man has produced are from when he let his energy flow from within, rather than trying to be God himself.
I feel that I am on a THRESHOLD, and am excited about where I may go from here (when I can get rid of the side effects of Effexor). IF you can find some relief from antidepressants, use that to find the reason for the personal conflict inside that has caused the depression. Confront that negative emotion and forgive it, dismiss it, OR convert it to LOVE and COMPASSION - a POSITIVE emotion, and a POSITIVE influence on YOUR life, and the lives of the ones around you. "Let your Light shine that the World may See." But don't just continue to medicate yourself to maintain the status quo. My Mom was treated for over 40 years with medications for hypertension. It caused her many trips to the hospital for re-evaluations and adjustments in the medications. This was treating the symptom, not the emotional dis-ease. Had her emotional dis-ease been treated and cured, she may not have needed a life time of medication.
Would love to have as many of you that would to join me on my journey to discover the "Truth within." I don't know where it will take me, or how long it will take, or how it will happen. Sharing with each other cannot hurt. I am excited about the trip. I am even excited to receive confrontation from this board with this "folly," or this simplistic potential solution to such serious problems.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!
poster:ArtChee
thread:86122
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011202/msgs/86451.html