Posted by MB on August 10, 2001, at 0:52:59
Well, we know I'm a freak, but that's beside the point < g >. Last night, I was having some really bad anxiety/panic (I don't think it warrants the lable "panic attack," but it *did* comprise moderate chest pain, sweating, slow but earth-shattering heart beat, feelings of immanent evil--like the way things look in a nightmare, etc) so I decided to self medicate with the only thing I had. I wanted to down a couple of bottles of wine from the garage, but I've been going to AA for 18 months, and have sworn off the sauce. Anyway, I have some Remeron left. Some of you may remember my Remeron bashing episodes. Anyway, I remembered that in the past, before 15mg of Remeron had put me in "a coma," it had dissipated my anxiety. I decided to take a *VERY SMALL* amount last night (and figured it was "legal" to do even given my recovery program since it is not a scheduled or habit-forming drug). I had remembered from past experiments in anxiolysis that 7.5 mg was too sedating, so I took a 30mg tablet and cut it into 8 pieces (first, both longitudinally and latterally, then I cut each quarter laterally). I took one of the eighths, and scraped about 2/3 of the compressed powder away from the film coating with a pocked knife and licked it from the counter. It didn't seem like much, but it was enough to make my tongue numb. Anyway, I figured that I took about 2 mg, or something like that. Well, it quelched the anxiety nicely, and within about 45 minutes I had to go to bed. I barely got my pants off and the covers back before I passed out. I damn near wet the bed because I was too tired to get up and pee...I mean, I was OUT of it, really f*cked up. All day today I was fatigued and only managed to scrape by with caffeine and a 4 hour nap from 2:00 - 6:00 pm.
So my question is: is it really possible to be *that* sensitive to antihistaminic drugs? I entertained the idea that it was the placebo effect, but does the placebo effect work while you're sleeping? I mean, usually I wake up when I have to pee, but I just couldn't. I had hours and hours of dreams where I was trying to pee, but I couldn't wake up. If it was the placebo effect, it wouldn't be active in my sleep would it?
Anyway, what does it say about brain chemistry to be so sensitive to antihistamines? My parents learned the hard way when they gave me an antihistamine as a kid. I went into a complete rage: screaming, kicking, breaking things, etc. I remember it slightly...I was completely, insanely enraged, and felt like I wanted to rip the flesh off of my bones. I've felt milder cases of this sensation as a kid with restless leg syndrom, but never in my whole body like I did when they gave me Actifed (pseudoephedrine + triprolidine). I had had pseudoephedrine many times without side effects, so it must have been the triprolidine in it that made me freak out.
So anyway, my question is this...does hypersensitivity to antihistamines (e.g. insane, maddening akathisia-rage as a kid and hypersomnolence as an adult) give any insight into my "condition," as you might call it? Does it elucidate any aberrant brain chemistry or physiology? Because of it I can't take any systemic allergy medicine, no APs (haven't tried Geodon, though), no tricyclics, and no more than a insanely small doses of Remeron.
OK, I am a freak. What does it mean??
poster:MB
thread:74429
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010809/msgs/74429.html