Posted by adamie on July 22, 2001, at 14:42:56
In reply to Currently, posted by adamie on July 22, 2001, at 11:34:58
it's akward how this depression makes me not care about consequences.My dad is a completely disgusting excuse for a human being. To him it doesn't matter that I have mental disorder. 50 dollars is too much for him to pay for medication. Him and his typical stupid views of how depression is not a real ilness.
Of course many people who say they are depressed are just liars who think that being sad or something is the deffinition of being depressed. These people give us 'real' depressed people a bad reputation. Depression and sadness are two completely different things.
But regardless. My dad is a complete horrible excuse for a human being. Everything from how he thinks women are bitc-es. To how arrogant, stupid, and egoistic he is. An abusive alcholic with an enormous temper. He's greedy, selfish. I told him how I was recently in the hospital and how I was feeling significantly worse before. He didn't care.
I was so close to calling him and telling him off. I think I will soon. he makes me so mad. And I really dont care anymore about the consequences. In my current state it is life my life is already over. I can only hope to recover. It is so hard to see me making a full recovery. But maybe I will. I'll see. Regardless I don't need that digusting female hating excuse for a human being in my life. I was really just using him for the money up until recently. I have stopped caring for him a few months ago. I was suicidally depressed back then and all he could care about if how I am an embarrasment to him.
Since I am thin, not into sports, and feminant. he hates that. And just because I'm not what he wants me to be he is so caught up in his stupid feelings. I am suffering from a grave decease and he has the nerve to always think of himself. Completely disgusting. And he told me how I lack emotions. Another idiotic thing to say. Of course I do, of course I used to talk in monotone. I was extremely severely depressed. Depression did that to me. That dirty idiot. No matter how I try to explain it to him he just doesn't listen.
I think I will call him later and tell him to drop dead and other cruel things yet completely deserving to him. oh well. just passing the time. hopefully i will feel better and soon. and money for medication i will get myself.
poster:adamie
thread:71085
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010720/msgs/71379.html