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Depression and ADD: Beyond frustration

Posted by MarkG on June 8, 2001, at 12:09:32

Feeling extremely hopeless might be more accurate. Last week I tried Adderall for the first time and my body flat out rejected it. This week I'm trying Ritalin- so far little side effects but also with little evidence of efficacy (still at low doses though). The most concerning thing is that since I started the Adderall I have had a return of extreme depression. I have tried so many ADs over the years with very little success including:
1. Prozac made me feel jittery and anxious
2. Zoloft minimal effects
3. Paxil short trial; felt fluish
4. Effexor mildly effective for about 1 1/2 years
5. Remeron felt like a spaced out depressed zombie
6. Wellbutrin had more energy but didn't help much w/depression
7. Parnate helped a lot with extreme depression and worked for inattention for the first 2 weeks

I have been trying one thing or another for the last 10 years. My doc has recently suggested Desiprimine. The depression/ADD symptoms go WAY back to childhood and there's been little change over the years. I seem to have always had processing probs (SLOW!) but have made good grades, especially in college- and made it to grad school in a competitive program. I've often felt like I'm slow, have a hard or impossible time being in conversations, and often feel somewhat unaware of what's going on around me- kinda out of the loop. This is having a big impact on my relationship (s), my career, and my LIFE yet I feel like there is not a whole lot I can do. Funny thing is that I feel like I KNOW I'm capable of feeling and doing better. Maybe it's those short lived times of feeling like "ah-hah, this is what its like to feel normal- WONDERFUL" that keep me hanging on and hoping for more. Sorry to rant on and on about my life, I think I just needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions it would be much appreciated.
I'm at a complete loss. :(

Frustrated,
Mark
(PS- Sulpicia, if your out there, thanks so much for your kind posts last week!!!)


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