Posted by Wendy B on April 4, 2001, at 11:10:09
In reply to Re: Help, my therapist is out of town » Wendy B, posted by phillybob on April 3, 2001, at 22:28:08
Thank you Bob (or Philly, or whatever), your response made me cry tears of bitter joy. I thank you for your understanding and your candor, and I REALLY needed someone to say: 'I feel that way too...'
> > She put me on more Neurontin (I was taking one 600 mg at bedtime to help me not wake up at 4:00 am), now she's upped that to 1200 mg at bedtime. Plus now she's told me to take one 600 mg during the day to calm me down. Does this sound ok?
>
> I have no experience with this drug so you should use the search feature here and/or elsewhere. From what I recall my pdoc saying, one can take very high doses of neurontin. Others here'll know for sure. You might just want to do a new post that says, "Neurontin dosage HELP."Since the boyfriend has been on it, I am familiar with neurontin, but I'm worried my high will get squeezed - I'm feeling pretty creative and have lots to say on every topic and boring everyone silly...
>
> > Another question about meds: should I really be taking an antidepressant? I thought it induced hypomanic states in certain bipolar II cases. What would it be like for me to reduce the Wellbutrin? Do any of you play with dosages, depending on whether you are up-cycling or if you're very low?
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> I personally never "play with dosages" ... just kidding. But, I don't think my playing has ever resulted in better efficacy. Right now, I am trying Lamictal (used as a mood stabilizer) as monotherapy (though just added a stimulant, Adderall for ADD-type effects, but don't know if that will continue yet ... was kind of feeling better before ... I'm very med-sensitive). I did have a great run (2 months) with Topamax (another drug used as a mood stabilizer) as monotherapy but needed to discontinue due to gum recession ... ouch!)What's that?? I can ask for Topamax when my therapist comes back, if you or others think it would be helpful.
Thank you for the web sites - I will read them with interest.
> > But what does the dx mean about all my past actions, relationships, burnt bridges, friendships gone sour, etc? Does it mean that I have to see everything through the 'lens' of the diagnosis? I am feeling so incredibly guilty about my behavior in the past. Have any of you felt this way when you really figured out what the symptoms mean and have gotten what you believe to be the 'true' diagnosis? Or felt like it explains everything? Or only up to a certain point? But where is that line?
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> Well, Wendy, I'm sorry because I understand. I'm havin' a lot of these "guilt" feelings right now as I try to get my meds right. I read something interesting on About.com's ADD site about the stages people go through with their diagnosis and guilt was a big one.Wow, so it's 'normal' (!!??). I was feeling it soooo acutely, and was in such a heavy, remorseful mood. I couldn't take it, so much self-blame, so much regret.
>I actually don't think I felt so bad, though, until I read that and looked back at my past (and present) in that light. That's what, I guess, support groups are for. I might need one.
Yeah, it sounds like a good idea. I've been in psychotherapy for almost 9 years, but just by myself.
> I know it's easy to say "don't fret about the past cause the future is long" but seriously, I know for myself that a new world is there for me to enter ...I guess it's a matter of faith and forgiveness - I'm so volatile at the moment, I can't imagine feeling better, the world has become so unstable for me right now. I'm so easily moved to tears and melancholy. Listening to Emmylou's 'Red Dirt Girl' and Sheryl Crow's latest album over and over, just brooding and internalizing everything...
>it was there with the Topamax but the toughest part now is gettin' up to therapeutic doses of the Lamictal to see if that'll have a similar effect.
I hope you get that dosage right, very much. Please let me (us) know what it does for you. What does it feel like now? What are you hoping to feel like when it kicks in? Your note was such a help to me - hard to explain - just got me out of my head enough to think I'm not really alone.
> Good Luck, Wendalabee!
(One final aside: That's so uncanny, everybody calls me Wendela, how could you have known?)
Thank you again, hope to talk more,
Wendy
poster:Wendy B
thread:58593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010403/msgs/58647.html