Posted by sweetmarie on March 22, 2001, at 14:23:29
In reply to Re: treatment resistant depre, Sweetmarie, posted by dove on March 22, 2001, at 11:22:10
> >
> >I asked hime about the combination that my specialist is putting me onto (Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine and Lamotragine). I just wanted to know whether it was a commonly used combination >in severe resistant >cases like mine.
> >
>
> There IS help, even if you are losing hope. There have been so many hurting people that have passed through the Psycho-babble door, entering... exiting... some leave well, some do not. We meet people and we share the strategies and the weaponry in order to fight the battle, and hopefully win the war.
>
> Many of us have taken and/or are taking "med cocktails" that may include over 10 different medications. Currently, I'm taking six different meds per day, and yes it can be a pain, but at least I can get up in the morning, smile (and sometimes laugh) with my kids, and I can see a light--not piercingly bright like a searchlight--nevertheless, a light at the end of the tunnel.
>
> I've been fighting depression for nearly 20 years, since childhood, and I've seen those dark corners and I've counted the bricks, waiting and waiting.... For what? For a break in the cycle, for a breath of life-imbuing air, for a victory. And I've won those victories, though they seem less of a victory than merely a reprieve in the glaring light of the bloody battle.
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> But with each victory I gain another medal, another "win", and I though I must keep fighting, there are respites, of rest and restoration (my own definition of R&R&R). Keep searching for the quickly passing moments of peace, joy or laughter, try not to forget them, they have the power to embolden you and the strength to smack the beast of depression across the side of the head, even if momentarily. The beast will not win. Keep looking for those little holes in beast's dark hide and try to pierce through that tough skin, even for a few minutes, every reprieve should be counted as a victory, really!!!
>
> In no way am I trying to make your pain appear *less* than it is, we hold your journey back to life, love, liberty and health in highest regard. I'm not giving you any concrete advice meds-wise per se, and my message may better suit the Psycho-Social-board but I really want to express to you that there are many more lighthouses on the horizon. They are sounding their foghorns and their revolving beacon awaits your discovery. And if all else fails... Come back here and keep on talking, we are listening!
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> I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers,
>
> dove
Dear dove,Thank you for your response to my message. People on this board have been SO good to me ... I don`t really think that I merit such attention. But I certainly welcome it. I`m sorry to hear that you have been poorly for such a long time - I can definitely relate to that. I have been questioning whether or not I should go into hospital at all to receive treatment from this specialist. This is mainly because I don`t know whether I can cope with another knock-back; I`ve been in hospital 3 times already, and each time I was told that I would get better. This didn`t happen on any of the occasions, and I have been left with the same severe depression which totally debilitates and immobilises me. I`m afraid of finding out that I am `incurable` if you see what I mean. This probably sounds like warped logic, I know, but ... well I`m just frightened. I`ve been receiving medication treatment for 10 years now, and none except the first helped (I took this - Dothiepin - for a year, believed myself well, and I WAS well - I`d never felt like that before in my whole life. Having discontinued it, I immediately felt terrible, went back onto it and it failed to work). Since then, nothing has had any effect and my good times are just a few minutes every week (if that). I know that I will go into hospital, because what else is there for me? I just don`t want to reach the `end of the line` and find myself still as ill. Negative thinking, I know. I also know that you are right, this monster cannot win. The only other option is to `exit stage left`, and I know for a fact that I won`t do that.
How long have you been trying medications? Has this combination improved your life significantly (i.e. are you able to function/see friends/go out etc? That`s all I`m asking of a medication really. The rest I can tackle myself (relationships, work, whatever).
Anyway, thanks again for your kind words.
Anna.
poster:sweetmarie
thread:55847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010319/msgs/57188.html