Posted by sundog on February 11, 2001, at 21:07:10
In reply to Re: Sundog, posted by allisonm on February 9, 2001, at 21:53:55
Yes, I do therapy and meds with the same person. In fact I did therapy only with him for about a year while I was trying to see if I could reasonably avoid going back on medication..That is what allowed me to develop enough trust in him to allow him to prescribe for me (I could do this because my problem was more chronic than acute, and I'd always managed to muddle along somehow, under my grey cloud). I had found my previous experiences with the managed-care med-check model so alienating -- having only 15 minutes a month with a total stranger who was prescribing drugs that directly affected my brain(!) made me feel like a machine on a conveyor belt. Or like I was being shuttled back and forth between a Dad authority figure who dealt with facts and a Mom who dealt with feelings. I don't know how I would've experienced it if I'd gone to a female psychiatrist and/or a male therapist, or gone outside the list of "approved providers" to find the *right* MD and therapist for me. But as it was, the whole thing made me really resentful and mistrustful of psychiatric treatment, which was a big factor in why I kept ditching the meds prematurely.
On this round of seeking help, one visit to the provider assigned by my health-care plan convinced me to stop messing around and just find the best person I could find regardless. I initially went to my current doctor for evaluation and advice or referral, but wound up choosing to stay with him. He is an exceptional person who is very knowledgeable about medical treatment, but originally came out of a humanistic-psychoanalytic background and has never lost that bent. This way both sides of therapy feel unified, and I trust him with both. I also know that he knows what I'm like off meds, and what I'm like period. I pay a lot more, but luckily the insurance still covers about a third of it, though I have to pay up front and submit bills myself. I can just barely afford it, but feel very lucky that I am able to do this.
So how's your energy level now? Hope it was just the windy night. On the other hand, I try to remind myself sometimes that improvement happens in a sawtooth pattern of ups and downs, but the general trend can still be up.
> > > I still feel overwhelmed and frightened by my ever-increasing pile of work-related tasks, and the strain of trying to pretend I'm completely OK and not falling behind. Still floundering in the procrastination-perfectionism nexus. That feeling of being repelled by some kind of negative force field when I approach any of this stuff is still there. But I have had moments of feeling . . . slightly less hopeless? And still tolerating the meds well. < <
> Boy do I know that feeling!!!
> Do you see the same person for meds and therapy (I do.)?
> Take care, Lynn.