Posted by MarkinBoston on February 10, 2001, at 18:18:55
In reply to Re: Undiagnosed ADD !!! » MarkinBoston, posted by Katz on February 9, 2001, at 16:39:14
> I have always felt like I have been trapped inside myself. Looking on but never participating. Almost like there was a plate glass window seperating me from the "others". I have always had a feeling of being uncomfortable in my skin. A feeling like I'm here but I'm not here, if that makes any sense. A surreal feeling is I guess what I'm trying to communicate.
I know EXACTLY what you mean! Yes, that's me and why I'm good at body language. I feel like an outside observer most always, not in it. So, I watch and learn. What mood a person is in. How they feel about who they're interacting with. I can feel a little uneasy from not being engaged in my environment and not quite sure what to do with myself, but mostly I am comfortable with that being the way things are and occupy myself with observing.
> I have always blamed my inability to recall details (especially names and numbers) on poor memory. Could it in reality be poor concentration? Hmmm....
I have trouble with names also.
I think our society has a fetish for numbers. Its like something isn't true unless there is a number associated with it. Does it matter how many miles per hour a car goes when its faster than you care to drive? Does a 300-count sheet feel softer or last longer than a 240 count sheet? Does a 15" speaker sound better than a 12" one?
Customers ask us for pointless statistics. They fault our firewall for passing only 60mbits per second when a competitor can pass 70. So? We check traffic more thoroughly and your internet connection is only 1.5 mbits per second. I hate the spreadsheet generation. Someone can make up some numbers ("business projections"), plug them in a spreadsheet, generating other numbers which are no more realistic because they were based on guesses, generate a business plan around it, and convince themselves that its all real. Yeah, New Coke took the market by storm and .com's were the death of retail stores.
> Disorganization is a symptom of ADD. I wonder if organization is a skill I learned to help manage my disease??? Hmmm....
Oops, have that symptom too. I'm having to get more organized now as my memory for where everything is, isn't what it used to be. When depressed and having memory impairment, I'm really screwed and a little panicked because I can't find anything. I rely more on remembering where I put my shoes than always putting them in the same place.
> I guess I too lose interest in things once I have mastered them. It does appear that I am stimulated by the challenge. No challenge=No motivation. But isn't that normal? I am a self trained gourmet cook. It was a good way to pass the time while inprisoned in my house due to my social phobia. Now that I have pretty well mastered the art, I have no interest in it. I now HATE COOKING. It's boring! Pizza delivery has become a way of life!
I've taken up and dropped many hobbies. I don't hate them, just not interested. I used to make Chinese or Indian dishes, but stopped after I got them tasting right/good. I never knew or cared how much of this spice or that ingredient to put in quantitatively, it was the qualitative right amount.
> What do you think Mark? ADD? It's sounding more and more like a reality to me. I'll be damned. Do you know that I went to a UMASS psych clinic (tyring to get ritilin) and tried to to pass myself off as ADD. They didn't buy it and sent me to the Depression clinic! What fools! No surprise there!!! The reality is that depression, dysthymia and anhadonia mimmic so many of the ADD symptoms that it's hard to know what's really going on!
OK, maybe my dysthymia/anhedonia is ADD. So, stims and coping strategies are what I should be doing?