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RE: letter to the clinic that treated me like crap

Posted by Tracy on February 9, 2001, at 22:50:07

In reply to Re: give me solutions not cyberhugs, posted by Tracy on February 9, 2001, at 20:14:03

This is the email message I shot off to the psych clinic director. I thought you might be interested in reading it.

...

Prior to my conversation with you today, 2/9/01, I had a great sense of hope
that maybe we could get to the bottom of this problem, whatever it may be.
Every doctor involved in this situation, or with whom I have consulted
(XXXX, XXXX, XXXXX, XXXXX) seemed to know who you were. However,
after our conversation today I was filled with ire, and at the same time
hopelessness. While, now, I personally do not care what you think about me,
my choices, or my situation, I realize that you have undue influence over my
doctor. And, in order for him to treat me, since you will be speaking to
him, I want you to have a clear understanding of how I feel and what my
goals for treatment are with your clinic, in case I did not make myself
clear on the phone (I feel as though I was not given that opportunity).

First, I do not care for your approach, as I perceived it, of "my way or the
highway." I have absolutely no intention of leaving school, stopping work,
or any combination thereof. My understanding of medicine in the 21st
century is that doctors are suppose to work with patients to achieve their
[the patient's] goals. And, that treatment decisions are to be made in
consultation with the patient. I was very offended by your repeated
suggestions that I seek treatment elsewhere, or that my priorities are out
of order. It is not your position to unilaterally decide my lifepath,
particularly since you know nothing about me except what is subjectively
written in some little blue binder; rather, I see the position of
psychiatrist as one who works __with__the patient to learn to deal with
their lives as they __are__at the time. If your interest is in seeing me
out of treatment then you can continue to try to suggest leaving school;
leaving school would necessitate me leaving my job, which would cause me to
lose my stipend and full tuition scholarship, for now and in the future, as
well as my health insurance, and force me to move back to NH, to a home
where they don't believe in psychiatric treatment, nor is a place I want to
be. In addition, claims that my priorities are out of order because I have
stated I can't cut classes to make appointments with my doctors, are
particularly offensive. Missing class and not understanding the material
will only increase my anxiety. Furthermore, if you think suggestions like
these are going to make me receptive to any treatment, you are wrong; in
fact they infuriate me; they make me very defensive; and put me in an
adversarial position. I am sure you can agree that that mind frame is not
one that is conducive to any medical treatment, never mind psychological.

Second, to be abundantly clear, since during our conversation I felt as if
you were interested in trapping me into saying things that would support
your theory of "stress", my symptoms include: extreme fatigue, as well as
excessive daytime sleepiness; feeling too cold or too hot, sometimes coming
in waves; lack of concentration; my mind feeling foggy and slow; inability
to speak coherently (stumbling over my words) or remember what I am saying
(forgetting or becoming confused mid sentence); becoming easily distracted;
high levels of anxiety (associated with environmental factors, as well as
generally); binge eating (which has increased to nightly); and tearfulness
(mostly due to the sense of frustration with the medical profession, and
their attempts at playing hot potato with me).

Finally, as far as goals are concerned, I want to not be tired; I want to
feel well, physically as well as mentally; I want to be able to function at
the levels expected in school (to be able to concentrate on exams and in
class, to be able to speak without sounding incoherent, and forgetting what
I am saying; to be able to complete assignments without massive errors and
omissions; and to be able to study at all so that I can be prepared in class
the next day), and to not feel the incredible anxiety I feel all the time
(partially caused by my inability to perform to the levels expected in
school), as well as to not cry at the drop of a hat.

My hope is that Dr. XXXX is willing to take an aggressive approach to this
situation.

Additionally, I realize that much of this letter is inflamatory, however I
feel you were not interested in listening to me and how I felt on the phone.
Hopefully, you can move beyond the inflamatory nature of this message, and
recognize that I need some help, and advise accordingly, while at the same
time, respecting my wishes.


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poster:Tracy thread:53542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010131/msgs/53641.html