Posted by mars on January 23, 2001, at 3:44:47
In reply to Re:To mars, posted by Neal on January 22, 2001, at 14:26:58
Neal ~
At the time I had not been diagnosed as bipolar II. Looking back, my pdoc (with whom I also did therapy) was very good, but the information about bipolar II hadn't been added to the DSM. He'd was the first to treat me with SSRIs (this started in late '89 with prozac). After my initial success with prozac i developed severe anxiety. from then on it was a process of trying a string of meds. he tried me on lithium carbonate during a previous severe episode of depression, and i could not tolerate even very small amounts. i find in general that if i am panicked or severely stressed i am hypersensitive to meds.
i don't know that i'd characterize that state i was in as a mania (actually, i was fairly calm). i was in an extreme state of quiet, withdrawn panic. During my period of sleeplessness I also almost totally stopped eating (highly unusual for me) and lost fifteen pounds in a month. i also was exercising a great deal, which in general has not been my tendency. (the three years previous to this time i had actually been taking better care of myself than i ever had before: educated myself about nutrition, lost weight in a slow, healthy way, exercised. i was really trying to what i could to help myself.)
there were also, of course, a lot of situational factors that i can't really discuss here. i can say, though, that i've never been quite the same after the insomnia/hospitalization period. for instance, i had always written quite a lot, very interested in film and music, read a great deal of literature and european philosophy, psychology (freud and lacan), literary theory as a means of sustaining myself, and i was active in keeping myself educated about how my meds were understood to work. since that time, which was about 9 years ago, i haven't been able to do those things. i don't mean to be melodramatic, but i often feel that something inside me died. i wish i could figure out what happened.
best,
mars
> > Having astounded my psychiatrist in Oklahoma by not sleeping for 30 straight days, I want to share *anything* I can.
>
> mars- I'm truely astounded too. If you'd rather not talk about it, just don't respond, but I'm wondering what it would be like not to sleep for thirty straight days. Also, was it straight insomnia or a manic phase?
poster:mars
thread:51834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010122/msgs/52277.html