Posted by Sharon J. on October 21, 2000, at 23:12:35
In reply to Re: DOES THIS MAKE SCENTS?? » medlib, posted by Sharon J. on October 20, 2000, at 10:55:55
Dear Everyone:
It is Saturday night. My last dose of Topomax was on last Monday morning. I have some things to share.
Although I had a short recurrence of some symptoms yesterday (Friday), (smells were a little out-of-whack in a.m., mild wierdness in my head and dullness upon waking, and I felt run-down until early evening), I had no panic attacks at all, and actually got much more cognitive stuff done than I had been able to do in weeks. (I opened 2 1/2 weeks worth of mail and wrote checks, organized receipts, and started putting the house back together again.) I was scared when I first woke up yesterday that I was "sick" again, but it never developed into anything near the terrible state I have been in since Oct. 3.
Today is Saturday, and I can say that, over the last three days, I notice a remarkable change in several areas: The quality of my sleep each night is better and better, and I am waking feeling rested. Also, I am not having "fitful" dreams any more. I am not so thirsty. My head feels fine. My "smell" is OK, too. It wasn't until today that I am aware of how much more at ease I am with myself -- so much more comfortable and calm than I have been in a long time. In looking back, I now see that I have been horribly anxious I have been, and today, the anxiety is gone. In addition, over the last two days, I have noticed that I have progressively become so much more amiable, wanting to be with people again, and have enjoyed simple things, like TV and reading again, too. Stuff doesn't seem "hard" any more. Today, I found that my appetite is better, I felt hungry, and I enjoyed cooking for myself for the first time in a long, long time. And I have a sense of overall well-being that I have missed for quite awhile. I even caught myself humming to myself today, too... something I do when I am content.
Today I went to a meeting at church, too. (I had not been there for almost 10 days) It was a lively discussion group, and I really enjoyed it. Afterwards, I got feedback from so many people that I looked so much better and that it was great to have "Sharon" back again. Compliments and stuff. I was a little surprised at all their enthusiasm toward me, and I didn't know exactly what to make of it. So, I asked two people to whom I feel close at the end of the meeting if they would stay behind and talk, and I asked them to be more specific in what everyone meant. They told me frankly that I had gotten so hostile and rude the last several weeks or more, and said that I had been so unreasonable, making a gripe about everyone and anything, and they were really repelled by my "horrible" aggressive attitude -- prior to today. They said that I today looked much more rested, that my face seemed "soft" and my eyes were sparkling again. They said that I was so much more cooperative today, and that I seemed like "my old self" again. They hugged me and said that "thier prayers had been answered."
So. Medication? Side-Effects? Unresolved childhood conflict? Virus? Who can be sure?
I just know that I am so much better. And I want to do anything that I possibly can to make sure that I NEVER have something like this hell that I have been in happen again.
Sharon
poster:Sharon J.
thread:46666
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001012/msgs/47048.html