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Re: Some 2-brained theories » dj

Posted by Noa on June 24, 2000, at 11:06:39

In reply to Re: Some 2-brained theories - Noa, posted by dj on June 24, 2000, at 9:48:54

Yes, dj, immature state=vulnerable, helpless, in pain. This is usually the formula for me. I think my more mature state feels more power, because I am more in touch with some of my powers--thought, logic, problem solving, perspective, etc. All these are tools that make me feel I can survive in the world. Now, perhaps if one wants to wax philosophical, one could say that to a certain degree it is a false power, a healthy dose of denial of the truly formidable challenges to survival that we face, to believe that we can "problem-solve" our way through life and survive what may come our way. In a sense, the immature state is just missing some of the denail/filter that screens out the dangers to my existence. When I am in my more mature state, I have more faith in my self to cope, but this does depend on that denail/filter phenomenon. I often think that many people with anxiety disorders are not having qualitatively outrageously anxious thoughts. A lot of their fears are realistic. If I let myself be in touch with the real dangers of automobile travel all my waking hours, I would never get in a car. I might never cross a street. But to function, I have to use that denial/filter function. People who are anxious, who worry a lot, I think just are more open to those real dangers than most of us. To a certain degree, we need a continuum of types of people in the world from not at all anxious to very anxious, with the folks at the anxious end helping the rest of us from becoming too invulnerable to real risks. It is when being open to the fears starts to interfere with life, that the anxiety is a problem. Anyway, with me, it is my openness to the feelings of being small in a large lonely world, helpless in a huge universe, that I am painfully in touch with in my immature state of mind. But along with that comes the preverbal logic trying to explain my feelings, and what this young brain logic comes up with is that the feelings are my fault (egocentric thinking), I am the embodiment of badness, that is why I am all alone in my skin in this huge universe. When it is really bad, it feels like I am going to disintegrate myself or destroy the world with my neediness.

You get the picture--very primal stuff.


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