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Re: Grumpy day, depression downturn, or PMS? » Kath

Posted by Noa on June 1, 2000, at 16:43:11

In reply to Re: How ya doing today, Noa?, posted by Kath on June 1, 2000, at 9:23:08

Thanks, Kath. I had a better day yesterday, and today was fair, but hard. I am grumpy again. I *think* I would describe it as stressed, rather than more depressed, although I always do wonder if I am starting a downturn. I hope not. The stressful stuff sometimes just feels overwhelming and I feel like running away to hide from it. Today I found out I probably won't get full time hours when new contracts are in, as I had requested. I am not making ends meet with this arrangement, and not being able to pay the bills is very stressful, so it might mean that I spend part of my summer searching for a job, the prospect of which is also extremely stressful, especially given how fragile I still am.

The day started with me *falling*! I did a clumsy ankle turn, and in correcting my balance, I twisted the opposite knee, which is my weak spot, having been damaged from a serious injury about ten years ago, and operated on about 5 years ago, and then I fell altogether. It was a result of my messy, obstacle course of an apartment, as I have to sidestep the crap that has accumulated. I do this obstacle course all the time, half asleep even, but for some reason, I just mis-stepped and lost balance. I wasn't sure I'd be able to get up, but I did after relaxing there on the floor for about 5 minutes. My left knee and both ankles have been aching dully all day.

Plus, I seemed to have made a bit of a mess in a business arrangement with a friend, not communicating clearly and creating a conflict that needn't have been. I own this one--I miscommunicated and didn't state what I wanted and needed, was vague, etc., and so my friend, who was better at asserting her needs, went ahead and made arrangements that I have now realized are not in line with what I had hoped. So now, I have to deal with reworking this whole thing with this friend, while also dealing with another friend who is affected by the whole misunderstanding. I am not a businesswoman at heart. And it is probably a good idea to not do business with friends. Live and learn.

Then the news about the job (not getting full time hours), and to top it off, I tore my freshly cleaned and repaired skirt on the corner of a metal desk drawer--the kind of tear that cannot be repaired neatly.

So, today, this afternoon, I am really very very grumpy, like Alexander and the no good horrible rotten very bad day, to paraphrase the title of a classic children's book.

Harrummphhhhhh.

BTW, I must admit, I had gotten confused with the two names---Kath and Kathie---so, if my posts to you, or to Kathie, seem out of touch, I hope you'll understand. I hope I can get your identities straight.


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