Posted by jacquie on April 29, 2000, at 6:01:19
In reply to talk about irony! (way too long), posted by liz on April 28, 2000, at 22:26:47
Liz! I was going to look up the old correspondence lastnight and email you....that's irony! I have been wondering and wondering. I am so sorry about your dad, I truly am. I think what you are going through is a test of human strength in many respects. I am very sorry, Liz. Please don't apologize for talking about yourself. Please, don't. I am honored that you want to share those experiences. Please connect when you get back. I am okay. I am being weaned off the celexa as we speak. I started down to 20mg lastweek and started taking 10mg today. I still take the ambien at night to help me sleep while I am on the celexa. alas, that is wearing thin as well. I am a bit unhappy that I will not be taking the celexa, because for the most part I had a better month than I have had in many years, but maybe it was pretty bad really and I just didn't realize it. The sleep problem only got worse. The ambien made be totally forget the day before and I have had a hard time gathering words for sentences. It's been that bad. So cognitively speaking things have not been great either. But I am okay. I look at me and the medication separately for some odd reason. I have thoughts about taking Paxil, but have yet to read one good thing about it. Now I am off to research amino acids again....the Sam-e, I tried that, but l-tyrosine. I am at a loss for th eright med for me. It seems I am hypersensitive to every thing. Well, you be well and keep me posted please!!! take care, Liz. Glad to have you back
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> Hi Jacquie! I've been trying to catch up on your news...a sleep aid sounded like a good idea, but perhaps ambien is not the one! I got back from Florida this Tuesday - a day late due to weather problems in Atlanta. Then I had an appt. with my doctor on Thursday, after about a 5 week period of minimal communication with him. (He had suggested I quit Adderall shortly after I started it due to my apparent manic reaction, although I reminded him that at 10 mgs. I had little effect, so why would 15mgs. make me kooky? BTW, I only stopped Adderall for a couple of days; Celexa by itself just put me to sleep). Then yesterday, while I was in his office, my father died; I did not find out until later that day. So now I'm hopping on another plane tomorrow to take me out to Oregon, but it certainly will not be a vacation. ( My Dad had been in failing health from Parkinson's for some time, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but I had hoped to see him again and had planned on going next week anyway.) On top of this shock, my doctor spent an 1 1/2 hr. with me yesterday. He asked me at length about my response to the drugs, the change in dosages, my self-medicating, my "non-compliance" (which he did not comdemn) etc. Eventually, he talked about the "comorbidity" of certain conditions, like OCD & ADD, both of which I now know I have, but initially I had thought that I was simply "depressed". He then dropped the bomb on me that I was exhibiting symptoms of Tourette's Syndrome - facial tics that I had not had before (or at least not to this degree). I was like "oh, give me a break!" but when we talked about it, I realized that my siblings and all the adults on my Dad's side had these similar...quirks. I thought that I had just been unconsciously mirroring the faces that had been around me since childhood...but no! He also said that for a time, there was a belief that stimulants, like Adderall or Ritalin, could actually cause Tourette's Syndrome but further investigation showed that the condition was there all along, but perhaps suppressed. The medication can sort of magnify (my word) what was already there. Of course, I had associated Tourette's with the more severe and more rare form of vocalizations, so this sort of blew me away! On top of that, he asked me what I thought about starting a mood stablizer. I had already made him aware of my new agressiveness: my research about my condition, the medications available, this site and its contributions, the journal I've been keeping and so on. I was pleased to see that he was pretty supportive of those efforts. He deferred to me on the issue of mood stabilizers for the time being; I said I was not comfortable with that approach yet and wanted some time to explore that possibility, which was OK with him. I'm to go back to see him with more frequency now because I guess this is more complicated than either of us suspected initially. Jacquie, I meant to be more responsive to you and your trials, and this has turned into something about me; I'm sorry! But this week has been absolutely crazy! I have gone from the person I thought I was (practically perfect, just like Mary Poppins, except for some vague little complaints) - to a raving maniac! Well, I might of over-stated that, but it is really weird! I managed to excel in school, maintain a marriage, rear children, live a decent life, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and now, come to find out, I have been coping with a bigger burden than I ever suspected. Perhaps its an example of the strength of the human spirit or one's adaptability or some other positive quality....I have to put a positive spin on this. But given this, some of those defenses or coping mechanisms must have begun to slip...I can't explain that one. To make my long story even longer, which I am famous for(do you remember Edith Bunker from "All in the Family"? Thats me! Can't cut to the chase if my life depended on it!), we discussed the "target" symptoms for which we would try to find relief. This doctor does not just throw stuff against the wall to see what sticks; he wants to assess the most limiting behavior, the core debilating symptom and tackle that as the primary focus - then go from there. That made perfect sense to me. For example, I have a teenaged daughter who was put on Prozac, then Zoloft, for no articulated reason. There was no complaint of depression, no definitive symptom - nothing to justify the prescription - so consequently, there was no way to assess improvement. I can't believe
> I went along with this but I know now that I was completely ignorant! Our family physician, whom I usually hold in high regard, just assumed she must be depressed because some of her behaviors seemed self-destructive. No one was looking for any other explanation nor for any other solution. No wonder she's been balky about taking meds! So I think targeting a symptom, forming a specific goal and then treating that symptom effectively through (what often becomes) trial and error makes sense. In my case, I fully expect to be on more than these two meds at some point. In fact, my doctor has just lately started to question Celexa due to its side effects plus, as we hone in on my most worrisome symptoms, I suspect that the protocol will change. I know now that I will have to have some patience with this - I guess I did believe there was a magic bullet out there for me. Maybe its another symptom of my OCD that I want things to be in order and I want it now!
> Jacquie, I did want you to know that I had kept you in my thoughts and was anxious to hear if you'd made some changes and found some relief. Sorry to ramble...just sorting things out as I type I guess. I'll catch up with you again when I get back home! Take care, Liz
> > hi john,
> > i have experienced more irony in the last 6 weeks since istarted taking medication than i have in the lastyear. believe it or not i didn't sleep through while taking the ambien. celexa is an anti depressant, but read the side effects of that and irony will take on a whole new meaning. right noow i am being weaned off of everything because of my hypersensitivity to drugs. we hope to either find something else or keep me off of them. there are many positives to all the medication. let me ask you something....i received your email at 4:10a.m. and I hope you were not taking ambien and realizing the insomnia aspect of it. i hope you got some sleep. are you taking ambien? or curious? see you-jacquie
> >
> > > I find it ironic that one of the side effects listed in the Ambien literature is insomnia.
poster:jacquie
thread:31167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000429/msgs/31655.html