Posted by Cindy W on March 13, 2000, at 21:08:19
In reply to Re: noa - self injury, posted by kellyR. on March 13, 2000, at 19:06:08
> > > I also have a problem with skin picking, and have been all over the map in terms of conceptualizing
> > > what it is--is it self mutilation? Is it more of a tic? Something like trichotillomania? OCD?
> > > It seems to be something that helps me space out sometimes. Dissociating helps avoid the stress of life.
> >
> > it can be any of these things. if it's a "tic" it's different, like a part of autism. i have been all over the map too and have settled on the idea that it is self-injury, perhaps less physically damaging than some of the si behaviors, but the same in that it generally can produce or be caused by other factors and feelings, and changes the state you're in temporarily. it's as if "they" are still sorting out where it truly fits in. OCD, BDD (an offshoot of OCD), are like saying it's a condition in itself. maybe. but for me, i believe that it is self-injury.
> >
> > self-injury primer (i am cheating a bit and using _the scarred soul_ as a guide):
> > ...is done to oneself, performed by oneself, physically violent, not suicidal, and intentional and purposeful.
> > ...types of si (the physically viloent aspect) are cutting, burning, interfering with wound healing, scratching/picking, excessive nail biting, hitting, bone breaking, pulling out hair.
> > ...can produce any or several of the following: relief from intense emotions, a coping mechanism, stopping, inducing, or preventing dissociation, producing euphoric feelings thru release of endorphins, physically expressing pain, communication, self-nuturing (caring for a physical wound which is "easier" than caring for the emotional wounds), self-punishment, reenacting previous abuse, establishing control.
> > ...common characteristics shared among si-ers can be shame, isolation and alienation, vulnerability and loss of control, and ritual aspects (which can be impulsive or planned)
> > ...the cycle: identify thoughts and emotions before, during, and after an episode.
> > ...other factors infuencing, resulting from, and related to si: trauma, dissociation, eating disorders, substance abuse, suicide, borderline personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, depression, anxiety, and any other psychological factors.
> >
> > > It also feels unconcious and automatic sometimes, like I will catch my hand going to scratch my
> > > scalp or face. This last aspect of it makes me feel it is different from most self-mutilation and
> > > self-injury behaviors, but I am not sure, and welcome your input and that of others with this problem
> >
> > if you care to, i have a web page at http://www.geocities.com/othertulip which includes my personal account of self-injury: one is the history of my behavior, another a graphic description of and si episode. click on "heal me" to find the links. (of course, please be safe before you read if you think it may trigger). what you describe sounds familiar, as you will see if you visit the page. yes, it can be "unconscious". cutting for example is the most common form of si, and it differs from picking imo basically in that cutting is more planned, ritualistic.
> >
> > > (Vesper--can you add to this discussion? Kelly?).
> >
> > vesper?! i know vesper! we belong to the same mailing list. :) hi vesper!!!!
> >
> > tulip
>
> I still cut & pick,I thought that i was doing it cause when i was young i was sexauly abused & rapped,& cutting would make me agly so they wouldn't hurt me anymore.I don't feel myself cutting,it's like i'm not there.I geuss i'm not any help,sorryThere is a really great book I got from the library recently, called "Cutting," by Steven Levenkron, about self-injurious behaviors. It is available in paperback, also.
poster:Cindy W
thread:26764
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000312/msgs/26922.html