Posted by birdgirl on March 11, 2000, at 15:56:36
In reply to Re: withdrawal, posted by juniper on March 9, 2000, at 1:01:35
well, here's the report on my return to work. i lasted exactly 26 hours. i work a 12 hour shift, so the first 12 hour day was exhausting, but no big deal. i went home very tired, but optimistic about my effort and future. the second day was fine until lunch.
when i came back from lunch, and officer was in the back yard booking a crushed wheenlchair into the evidence room. there had been a traffic accident, and this wheelchair bound person had been crossing the street. all traffic going both ways had stopped for this man, except for a guttersniper. he hit the man in the chair about 35 miles an hour, and he was transported to the hospital.
the motor officer said he was so handicapped with polio and scoliosis that it was hard at first to determine what was previous condition and what was damage from the accident. after that, we had a 78 yr old woman with alzheimers walk away from home, lost. this was at 1230. and by the time i went home at 6pm, she was still outstanding. i couldnt help but think of her, lost and afraid, as it got darker and colder.
my partner dispatcher got a call from her mom, telling her that her older sister had just been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer.
another old lady called to report a "biker hippie" type who lived in front of her and he was blocking her driveway with his old jalopy. she had asked him to move it and he was very belligerent, backed the car down the driveway until it blocked her front door and filled her house with exhaust. then he put the car back and sat in front of her house and smoked cigarettes, bouncing the butts against her window and front door. i asked her how long this has been going on, she said 12 years. she had been so afraid of him she just couldnt bring herself to do anything but complain to the landlord, another elderly female who said, well im afraid of him too. this just broke my heart for her. i know i, anmd i'm sure others on this list know how it feels to be too afraid to defend yourself.
then i had a beaten wife call for help in our hispanic filled apartment house. it is somewhat accepted culterally in the hispanic culture for a certain amount of "home correction" so when you get numerous calls on 911 from this place, you know its bad. i had to try and talk to her while we rolled out there, and then have to explain to her that there was nothing more we could do, since the husband left prior to our arrival, and was in the wind. all we could do was patrol the area, and told her to call back on 911 if she saw him again.she of course didnt want us to arrest him, just tell him to not do it anymore. she couldnt leave since there was no where for her to go, and since she was an illegal immigrant she was too afraid to go to a shelter, even tho they or I for that matter dont care about that. a huiman in need is a human in need regardless of legal status, but you cant convince some of that, so they live a victimized life.
well, then it was time for me to go home, the old alzheimers patient still missing, the beaten woman hopeless, the wheelchair crushed, and my partner in tears about her sister. to make matters worse, i am apeer cpounselor at my department for over 9years, and everyone looks to me for help. so i went home, cried all the way there, and cried for the next 8 hours. i went in to work this morning, and after 1 1/2 houirs told the sergeant i had to go home and would probably not be back. i have to go in monday to talk to the chief of police. i had been on stress related light duty for 9 months and returned to work after months of therapy, several changes of meds and a denied worker's comp claim. so i am done as a dispatcher. the last time i worked was the 4th of july 1999, and when i went home tyesterday, i was right back to the same level of stress.
sorry to go on so long, but you did ask how my first days back were.
If any of you have to deal with a coldhearted cop or dispatcher, maybe it isnt that they don't care, maybe like me, they care too much.
Thanks for your interest juniper.
Birdgirl
poster:birdgirl
thread:25731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000302/msgs/26705.html