Posted by dj on January 30, 2000, at 13:13:47
In reply to irritability - DJ, Noa, posted by Elizabeth on January 30, 2000, at 8:46:36
Just had to make a comment on this. I appreciate both of your comments and posts and will still monitor the site, though a bit less. And elizabeth thanks for the offer, I may take you up on it at some time, but not right away.
Frankly, I don't see it about being off ADs as generally I do feel much better physically, mentally and emotionally, than I have in some time. I still have a St. Johns-Worts - 5HTP combo as a back-up. The ADs and my course of study of the past year both contributed a lot of physical and mental stress to me -- the former was supposed to help with the latter and did some (more on an emotional and cognitive level), much of which has been alleviated now.
I've been getting a lot of physical therapy -- chiropractory, massage and acupuncuture which is also helping with my physical and mental flexibility and am working on looking less like the Buddha and acting more like him. I've a ways to go yet on both fronts ; ). Eating less on the run and working out more regularly will help. Both have been difficult until recently because of immense fatigue, which I also attribute somewhat to coming off ADs, which I am also counterbalancing with lots of vitamins and herbal combos, like gingko.
The irritability I would attribute to many factors and am working on that through some groups with folks I know well and respect deeply, as well as on my own. Religion is a particular flash point as it was shoved down my throat, during my early years. My mother/father are/were wonderful folks but could be very dogmatic and unbending on religious issues and my Mom once almost disowned me due to a disagreement on this issue, which to me has always been about free choice.
My father, who had 7 priests (2 or 3 who were the former heads of a Catholic University on which he served on the Board of Governors for years, as well as many community boards and being one of two Canadian reps. on the international board of the Knights of Columbus, and an honourary Knight of Malta, etc.) talked her out of it. Recently she told me if she hadn't met my father she was leaning toward the nunnery. Instead she had 9 kids and as the oldest male in the middle of 6 females, prior to the arrival of my male sibs. my aggress energies were often shut down and one was expected to be seen not heard, unless you had something nice to say.
I was often blamed when 'emotional' encounters ocurred, rightfully or wrongfully. I was often the target of my father's wrath when he was home acting as the enforcer usually more with harsh words than nought. As a lawyer, who became a provincial Supreme Court justice, he was good at prosecuting and cutting to the quick, at times, as am I.
He was also a very just and compassionate man, generally, though a bit dogmatic in the expression of his views at times, as am I. He was also generally very liberal with a healthy dose of conservatism, as am I. Regardless I don't blame my father nor my mother for the way they were, or I am. They had lots of stressors in their lives, beyond nine obvious ones and are & were wonderful people, beneath sometimes foreboding countenances, as am I.
I have a love-hate relationship with spirituality/religion/theology and authority. I am a doubting Thomas who sometimes seeks but often does not find much that appeals in what passes for religions insights. However, most varieties of Buddhism offer insights which I find the most attractive and least dogmatic (which explains the former)because they are thougtfully and beautifully explained and always leave the onus on the seeker to look for themself. And they condemn none and welcome all. And historically they seem to have one of the most unblemished records of oppression of those who disagree with thier views, of which I am aware.
So goes it...the very best to EVERY, single one of you on your paths. Ours may cross again, yet. If anyone has any particularly interesting postings (especially on the science of dealing with and alleviating depression) which they feel I might be interested in, or just want to say hello, you can always copy them to me at jd-dm@rocketmail.com.
It's a sunny day, but somewhat chilly day, & I'm off for my first coffee, to read a paper or two and have some adventures...
> Of course it's related to being off ADs. DJ, I'm sorry to see you go too because I feel you have a lot to offer. You say you feel better, but I can't imagine that you would feel better having such powerful reactions to interpersonal conflict. Isn't that overwhelming for you? (Feel free to write to me if you'd like. Currently shapere@aol.com, should remain so for at least another month.)
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poster:dj
thread:19818
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000128/msgs/20096.html