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Re: Depression and Work

Posted by Phil on August 24, 1999, at 7:18:48

In reply to Depression and Work, posted by yardena on August 22, 1999, at 20:02:38

> I am curious to know how people have dealt with their jobs while struggling with depression.
>
> In a previous job, I never disclosed my struggles with depression to my supervisors, but did disclose to a couple of trusted coworkers. One supervisor definitely suspected that one prolonged absence, which I reported was due to a physical ailment, was due to depression (it was), and she tried to coax a "confession" out of me. Since I was never asked to submit a doctor's note, I decided I wanted to keep the reason for my absence to myself. I am glad I did, because, for completely unrelated reasons, my relationship with my employer became adversarial (I blew the whistle about something and was promptly fired). If I had disclosed my depression, it would probably be used against me in legal procedings.
>
> Despite this experience, I surprised myself by making the decision the other day to disclose my depression to my immediate supervisor in my new job. Seems risky for someone who just started a new job and was pretty much screwed by my last employer. Why did I talk to her openly?
>
> Well, for one thing, I was supposed to have taken a vacation, but postponed it repeatedly and finally canceled it altogether, because I just couldn't manage it while depressed. She and others were concerned about me not taking my vacation. During recent weeks, I had taken dribs and drabs of time off, due to coming in late when I couldn't get myself out of bed, or going home early because my stamina was limited, or calling in sick altogether. This was passable conduct, because I was not on a rigid schedule over the summer anyway. But, I was concerned somewhat about the inconsistency. At the beginning of the summer, we had all indicated our intended work schedules and even though it is not rigidly held to, I was concerned about not keeping to my intended schedule and how this is perceived by others. I had put off going on my vacation because I was too depressed to manage it. I thought I might take it later in the summer, but in the end decided I wouldn't enjoy it much and it was all too overwhelming for me to make it happen. Anyway, by the time I started to feel a little better, I realized I wanted to work everyday because I feel better at work. This has always been the case for me. Somehow, at work, I am able to emerge from the confinement of depression. When my depression begins to invade my work space, as it did at one point this summer, I know I am in trouble. There was a point this summer when this happened. I cried several times at work, was unable to focus, became obsessed with something insignificant that I had to do at home, etc. That was a signal that I was in bad shape. Because, even though my depression often impacts my ability to get myself to work, once I am there, it usually gets checked at the door. If it comes into the building with me, that is a danger signal.
>
> I also was feeling concerned about the fact that a project I was working on was taking longer than it should, because of how hard it was for me to focus, and because I had gotten bogged down in too many details. And I was concerned about how I was perceived, as a new employee, because of my inconsistency and all of my "illnesses".
>
> I sensed I would be able to trust my supervisor, and at this point, continue to believe I was correct. She was extremely supportive and disclosed that her father has bipolar illness and that she knows what a struggle depression can be. I wanted her to know, I think, because I wanted support, and I hate lying. She told me she perceives me as conscientious, and that my inconsistent work schedule had not really been an issue.
>
> I hope my instinct about her trustworthiness is accurate, because I sense that in most cases, it is not really safe to disclose one's depressive illness to one's boss.
>
> I don't see my disclosure to her as license to be excused from my responsibilities. I still need to improve my ability to get to work on time and to limit my absences. In terms of the quality of my work, I am not worried because somehow I have always managed to do a good enough job despite depression related absences, etc.
>
> How have other people managed employment issues while struggling with depression?

>>I recently went to a business to pick up a toner cartridge and in the receptionist area they had one of those boards with everyone's name and status, ie out til 3pm, etc. Next to one ladies name they put psychiatric leave! No secrets at that company!! Pretty strange. Phil


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:Phil thread:10514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/10611.html