Posted by Dee on September 6, 1999, at 20:37:30
In reply to Re: Thanks for the encouragement, James, posted by Janice on September 6, 1999, at 19:41:46
Yes, it makes it definitely easier to have friends that I can talk about my depression and the feelings that I am going through. I for one used to be so embarrassed and ashamed of my condition, that during the down times a simple 'How are you doing' was like an accusation or an attempt to extort some information about how I *really* was feeling. I used to look down as I responded 'Fine', knowing that the other person knew I was lying.
I definitely makes it easier for me to start interacting by having people who know and accept the fact that I may be just sitting there while all others are talking, not saying a word. Through my recovery of crystal meth I spent lots of times with NA, and I learned there that I can expose much more of my self than I previously thought, and will not be judged by it. Like they say back there 'You are as sick as your secrets'.
This board, in many ways, has the same feeling to it. A group of people in war against an enemy we all have in common, and supporting and supporting one another when the battle suddenly seems overwhelming. Here we can learn that it is OK to isolate, we all do it at times, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up for doing so. For me, depression is the hardest, fiercest, most exhausting work that I have ever done, a battle I have to fight every day and every hour... When the time comes that I need to take a break from participating in the world I think we all deserve that break.
I have a tendensy to mentally punish myself for the periods of depression. Sort of like I still believed that it is just sloth and dragging. I have to consciously tell myself that I deserve a pat in the back and a raise for all the hard work I have done.Love
Dee
poster:Dee
thread:11004
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990829/msgs/11136.html