Posted by Cathleen on March 19, 1999, at 18:10:20
New on the internet, surfing, and found psychiatry out of personal interest and general curiosity.
I think I have had a depression for many years. High functioning, insofar as education, career, family, re-education, career, old age. It wasn't until I exprienced burn-out, or losses such as divorce, monetary, career, love, self...or even injury, that I started hitting concrete. For the first year, after walking out of a highly responsible career job, I went to bed for 10 months. I didn't acknowledge my depressions, didn't wany drugs...didn't want to be labeled mentally ill. At one point (via my gp),I had a brief encounter with Prozac, a few years later, after a shocking childhood memory, a psychiatrist ordererd Prozac and I had both a toxic and an allergic reaction. He then gave me by Paxil (same psychiatrist) with (obviously) the response. Results of that bout is permanent tinnitis. I was in school suffering, but, never a quitter, so another psychiatrist, started me on Wellbutrin. I was allergic to that and my lungs shut down in asthma. No doctor believed me so I kept on with the drug, until, I stopped it on my own. Three years later, last year, after another shock, another doctor prescribed Wellbutrin. Same reaction. Then he tried Effexor and I couldn't tolerate it - eventually splitting offf from myself in a drug haze. I am currently home on a temporary disability (w.c.) after a fall on my head, stopped by the edge of an iron gate, and now they are trying Desipramine. I am dumbfounded. Energy drained. Depressed because of real life things (age 57) loss of career, love, you know Masloffs long list of....my question is, "IS IT WORTH IT?" Real is, my life is over as I value it. Drug trials, seem to be nothing more than that, "drug trials." The process in itself is depressing.