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Re: dream analysis? » daisym

Posted by Tamar on October 11, 2005, at 5:18:50

In reply to Re: dream analysis? » Tamar, posted by daisym on October 10, 2005, at 10:24:56

Thanks, Daisy. I hadn’t pulled all the maternal themes together the way you did. That makes a lot of sense. I also hadn’t thought about the tension between the roles of mother and wife.

> I had to wonder if your kids were representing parts of you that were annoying and/or out of control. But at the same time, you were worried about the youngest part being hurt or killed. Being sexy with the guy whose wife is taking care of the kids is a classic woman/mother clash (did the guy look like your hubby, or your father?)

I think you’re right about the kids. I do tend to try to stamp metaphorically on the my feelings of wanting attention (like my first daughter in my dream), and it’s probably because I’m afraid if I allow myself to want attention it will be very annoying to other people and they’ll push me away. And so I prefer to run away myself before other people can push me away.

The guy in my dream didn’t look like either my husband or my father. He was sort of too attractive – the kind of guy who would never look at me because he has too many other women to choose from. Usually I find it really difficult to talk to men who are very attractive – even if I’m not particularly attracted to them (I don’t know if that makes sense). Men who know they’re attractive and like getting lots of attention from women … usually I’m not interested in men like that. But the man in my dream was like that and he was flirting with me and for some reason I was wildly flattered.

> and I do understand the "not sex but love" feeling you described. I think I've had dreams like that. And to find his love healing is very cool.

Yeah. It was very nice indeed. I’m still finding myself polarising ex-therapists: on the one hand there’s the man who exists in my imagination: he loves me, and that’s great. But then on the other hand I still have difficulty thinking that my real ex-therapist could find me anything other than disgusting and ugly…

> Neat dream. What did you make of it?

I also thought the kids were aspects of myself. And I tend to think that when my ex-therapist appears in dreams he’s a kind of Animus figure. So I guess the scene with the flirtatious man was something about my perceptions of flirtatious aspects of myself, and then the kids being annoying and running away might represent my anxieties about being both a woman and a mother. And perhaps the animus-ex-therapist represents a kind of answer… that perhaps it’s best to find ways of playing several roles at the same time without wanting to run away from whichever role I’m not playing… I dunno. It’s all a bit confusing!

Thanks for your thoughts, Daisy!





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