![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
This feels like anyplace but home. Maybe I've gotten too weird or I'm not following the path of the righteous.
My oldest brother is a selfish prick and won't contact me, especially if I'm physically or mentally sick.
My best friend told be to get off my meds. I've known him thirty years. He got an essay from me that made him say, I'll never do that again. At one point I asked him how many thousands of hours of research he has done and if he knew that following his advice could kill me.
Maybe Lou and I could become pen pals and facebook friends.
Hopefully I can stay away for the duration.
Phillipa will be the only response to this as is often the case. Thanks Phillipa.When I went to the psych ward after a suicide attempt a lady at work called my bro, my only surviving relative. I asked what he said."Guess that's a good place for him." click
Civilians that don't understand are the ones that think they know the most.
Maybe I'm just in a bad mood but jeez how could that happen with bipolar?
Wanna know why this place is so dead? Because if people don't ask about Parnate or Nardil they may not get a response. And if they do, chances are it's wrong or possibly dangerous. It's all cut and paste anyway.
Maybe I don't feel that I'm getting many responses because I don't ask about a specific med and sometimes just write an essay. In that case I would ask people to read between the lines. One doesn't have to outright scream for help to transmit a message that they are hanging on by their fingernails. I guess I need Nardil.
Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there and frustrated because of it. That does happen with me.In any case, I can only be who I am. A thirty year mental patient that just isn't enough.
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 11:27:34
In reply to Out of step with babble these days, posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
Well, thanks for that, Phil.
I suffer too. I don't post on the Meds board because only one replies with inappropriate responses.
I don't post on Admin because it's bad for my health.
But you have to give and take.
I'm sorry if your giving doesn't feel like it's getting the support you want.
I don't actually know what you are looking for.
Good luck, buddy. You have been a big help to me over the years. And babble still works. I put some filters on and it gets me through the days.
PC
Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 16:54:46
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Phil, posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 11:27:34
hi phil. i think i might be a weird babbler for never really having posted much on the meds board. i mean, i venture over there sometimes... but i've never really felt at home over there. admin was always my favorite board. some of the stuff on psychology. mostly... social. that doesn't seem right. mostly writing, i guess. that was me.
i'm sorry that your brother isn't able to be more supportive. some people... just aren't. says that his life maybe isn't going so well that he can't be there for you...
i have this opposite problem sometimes. people are all about being there for me. but then their being there is more harmful than helpful. these people think they know what i need / think they know how to look after me. but they don't. but their loudly and vehemently proclaiming that they do procludes me getting the actual help i need. even when that help really is as simple as giving me the financial means to manage my own affairs.
i guess everybody as got problems. but it strikes me that not all people suffer equally.
and you are suffering. and i'm sad to hear that. but here... on these boards... well... you are surely not alone.
i don't respond to you much because i'm not entirely sure what to say. i'm not sure i'm being entirely successful in connecting with you now, but i wanted you to know that i do read your posts and i empathise with you as best i'm able. i am glad that you are here.
and i am glad for phillipa. that she is so good at posting that she is here. sometimes she drives me a bit bonkers (which says a lot about me, i'm sure) but mostly... she is kind hearted, yeah? she has been there for me over the years... and others too... i'm glad she is still here, too.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 16:55:11
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 16:54:46
Posted by sigismund on October 19, 2013, at 19:17:16
In reply to Out of step with babble these days, posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
Phil, I do know what it feels like not to be responded to.
Some people don't like to be with the sick, but I found my best conversations were with those with very little time left. I enjoyed those.
Posted by sigismund on October 19, 2013, at 19:38:16
In reply to Out of step with babble these days, posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
You'd know this?
Posted by baseball55 on October 19, 2013, at 19:43:19
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days, posted by sigismund on October 19, 2013, at 19:17:16
I, for one, look forward to your posts and to your blogs. But sometimes it's hard to know what to say, since I know you only by what you write. How sad that your brother wrote you off! I have been unimaginably lucky that when I have been hospitalized (how many times? - 8, 9 10?) my friends and family stood by me.
Not at first though. My husband was at first angry and didn't see why I just didn't "snap out of it." He finally agreed to meet with my p-doc, whom he liked a lot and who explained that if I could snap out of it, I would, but I couldn't.
To suffer mental illness and feel that you have no supportive family or friends is very hard. I think that's one of the reasons people post on babble. There are people who do understand.
Posted by Phillipa on October 19, 2013, at 23:15:27
In reply to Out of step with babble these days, posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
Phil I'm here for you I myself haven't been here much myself. I always read your blogs. I try to step into your shoes and feel what you feel. Since my ex father in law was bipolar with definite opposite poles I've seen how horrible the living can be. I don't think I've ever asked before if you have periods of what one would call normal inbetween. Hows the music? Still liking your new home? Phillipa
Posted by Poet on October 20, 2013, at 0:41:10
In reply to Out of step with babble these days, posted by Phil on October 19, 2013, at 10:23:34
Hi Phil,
I don't go to the med board because I don't know much about meds except those which are currently working for me.
I agree with you that "Civilians that don't understand are the ones that think they know the most." They're like the arm chair sports coaches who yell at the TV during a bad play. Like the action is going to stop, reverse and things will be completely different.
Poet
Posted by Phil on October 20, 2013, at 11:02:54
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Phil, posted by Poet on October 20, 2013, at 0:41:10
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 20, 2013, at 11:24:54
In reply to A bit of hypomania I think no big deal (nm), posted by Phil on October 20, 2013, at 11:02:54
Thank goodness. I feel ever so much better.
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 8:39:32
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Phil, posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 11:27:34
Should have done this first but thanks for your support PC.
I think I mentioned about doing this on another forum. Well, I did it to my closest friend in an email a few months ago. We've been friends for 33 years and if not for his understanding, I don't know.
Please know that while I'm hurting others I'm hurting myself. There's no switch to turn on and off. I'm a people pleaser by nature and I hate it when someone is upset about some bone head thing I did.
I talked to my therapist about this a few months ago and I said why am I doing this and sometimes don't even know how it's coming across or hurting people? He said if Carl Jung were here right now he would be talking about your Shadow Self. I have not read much on it but I think I need to find a dumbed down version to get it.thanks
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 21, 2013, at 8:51:22
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Partlycloudy, posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 8:39:32
Phil, I am so triggered by this, it's hard to write. My main dx is PTSD. I rejoined Babble at my own peril, and I can see now that I just can't handle it. Hours of tears over a post made by someone else with their own significant ailments puts me back months in therapy.
Maybe I needed to cry today. It has been an awful couple of weeks and I have had to stuff feelings in closets, dirty clothes, souvenirs, wherever I could put them.
I'm sorry I lashed out in my own pain. This is my lesson I have learned, that Babble is utterly a destructive place for me to spend any time.
I didn't mean to upset you, but to show you that I had become upset.
I'll go away now. I wish you the very, very best. It is what we all deserve.
PC
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 8:52:57
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 16:54:46
Thanks alexandra...PC was right, I should have read y'all's responses instead of running and hiding. I always think the absolute worst is coming and I always know that I deserve it.
This is by far the hardest time of my life. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm doing this.
The only person I really don't like here was manic but he really, really pissed me off. Lou? I like him. He makes me crazy but I don't dislike him.
Everyone else is cool. So I write bad things.
I think I've mentioned this to my doc but I downplayed it so I wouldn't have to hear, I think we should....
I'm bone tired of the med go round. Aren't we all?Thanks
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 8:55:23
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days, posted by sigismund on October 19, 2013, at 19:38:16
Ahh, yes I do! Thanks. LC is still great.
ty sigi
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:08:44
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days, posted by baseball55 on October 19, 2013, at 19:43:19
Wise words. My friend, out of the blue, told me I needed to get off of 'all those pills.' He was there when I was first diagnosed 30 years ago so it threw me for a loop.
I talked to him about that and said I've spent thousands of hours here, pubmed, youtube, meetings, etc. How much research did you do before telling someone with bipolar to stop their meds and would you like to do my eulogy now or later. We brought it up again the other day and I asked if saying that was his idea or his brothers. He said, it was mine...I'll never do that again. lol
It's like people think we enjoy taking pills, going to the hospital, being constipated, having vertigo, sleep too much, can't sleep, not having sex since the Clinton administration for fun.
:)
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:18:28
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Phil, posted by Phillipa on October 19, 2013, at 23:15:27
No one needs to explain on this posting stuff. I think maybe I go into victim mode sometimes when posting.
I'm still having those pesky hallucinations but not any really bad ones right now.I made my blog private. At least I tried but I'm not sure I got it right because it seems to be up again. When I read it and wince I thought, damn that's bad. :) So I want to write just as a journal which is fine with me.
There are some good bipolar bloggers out there. Natasha Tracy, Bipolar Burble, is really good and writes for other websites too. I can't believe the amount of material she comes up with.
Apartments OK./
:) thanks p
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:26:26
In reply to Re: Out of step with babble these days » Phil, posted by Poet on October 20, 2013, at 0:41:10
Know what you mean on the meds. I've never been able to guide someone along. But I diagnosed an old friend BPII a few weeks ago by reading his emails. His doc had him ADD. The next day he saw his doctor, told him what I said and made notes of his behavior...BPII. Sheer luck. He's on all the same stuff I am, wish I knew that I did him a favor.
You know that's true on the football thing. But people watch it from these great camera angles. If you actually go stand on a football field it's a different story.
Gracias Poet
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:30:10
In reply to Re: A bit of hypomania I think no big deal, posted by Partlycloudy on October 20, 2013, at 11:24:54
Cowardly behavior on my part. Above all, control the situation and find a place to hide. Impressive. I thought I would grow up when I grew up.
Posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:37:39
In reply to Re: A bit of hypomania I think no big deal » Partlycloudy, posted by Phil on October 21, 2013, at 9:30:10
I posted something that I was sure would make everyone angry at me. Then I wouldn't read replies because I was afraid to. My post wasn't the problem. Selling good people short was. Thank you guys for a vivid reminder of the good days of babble.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.