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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 28. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 10:01:02
Is anyone happy? Cause there sure are no meds for this. Phillipa
Posted by SLS on August 12, 2013, at 10:29:46
In reply to Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 10:01:02
> Is anyone happy? Cause there sure are no meds for this. Phillipa
There are meds that, for some lucky people, make them feel better and think more clearly. What you do with these gifts is entirely up to you. I think that happiness is earned, and not bestowed. It often takes work to be happy with what you have rather than obsess over what you have not. Sometimes, this requires change - change in your internal and external environments. My life sucks right now because of an unremitting depressive illness. Yet, I remain otherwise happy.
If your inside needs work, go see a psychotherapist.
If your outside needs work, go see a psychotherapist.
If your marriage needs work, go see a psychotherapist.These things have worked for me. They might work for you, too.
- Scott
Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 12, 2013, at 13:32:17
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » Phillipa, posted by SLS on August 12, 2013, at 10:29:46
the only thing i think that does help happiness, but it actually cause it, more like a feeling of mild bliss from some serotonin antidepressants, the dopamine ones icrease motivation and energy...
but yea....im happy sometimes, and others i am vary down and in pain, i don't parade my sadness but i have to deal with it. I think finding things that make someone feel good, not pleasure, but going out and enjoying nature, being happy with the things that someone has, warmness....
its too much for to explain, and plus i don't know much either lol
r
Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 14:56:50
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » Phillipa, posted by SLS on August 12, 2013, at 10:29:46
I always appreciate your philosophy of life, Scott.
Posted by SLS on August 12, 2013, at 19:56:46
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » SLS, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 14:56:50
> I always appreciate your philosophy of life, Scott.
That means A LOT to me, Dinah. Coming from you, this is particularly affirming. Thank you.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 20:47:56
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » SLS, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 14:56:50
Doc today said if not happy he hopes I don't commit my own euthanasia. Hows that for compassion and caring. Stick it doc. Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2013, at 22:29:13
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 20:47:56
Depends what you mean by 'happy'. Sorry... But it does.
Life is not one continuous hit of methamphetamine, that is for sure... But I have moments of happiness.
Someone said that if you ask that you are happy - then you are not. I think the idea is that happiness is to be found in the moment... The moments where you aren't wondering whether you are happy.
Like the high from methamphetamine isn't found in the wondering whether the drug has kicked in.
Moments when I realize and KNOW I'm happy are fairly rare.
More... I'm learning (slowly) to appreciate certain aspects. For instance... I had a quiet few days here at home. The peace... Is relaxing for me. I feel some kind of happy from that. I'm looking forward to spending a few hours in the library in the city tomorrow. I feel some kind of happy from that. I'm actually sorta hungry now and I think I have enough eggs... That makes me happy. Out of coffee... Not so happy.. Bit of a hike to the shops... Can get into the spirit of sort of enjoying that. Pretty f*ck*ng stoked I have the money to actually buy coffee. Oh yes indeed.
Is that happiness?
I could tell you the 'things that piss me off or otherwise annoy or anger me' tale.
They are superimposed, really.
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 22:58:17
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2013, at 22:29:13
Pretty simple what would continuously make me happy. To be able to taste & smell again. To sit with a book and munch and enjoy the small pleasures of life that is heaven to me with lack of pain. Search after search here and at hospitals & doctors and all they say is some virus killed the neurons in your nose so no taste and smell. There has to be a connection to something. 9 years later hard to imagine what a wonderful juicy mango or peach tasted like. So I don't eat them too painful. So enjoy the simple pleasure in life as you could wake up one day and no longer have them. One doc said that many wake up and are deaf same cause a virus? Such is life. Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on August 12, 2013, at 23:50:36
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » alexandra_k, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 22:58:17
I'm pretty happy, but for me I consider myself happy when I'm content and not emotionally aroused in a negative way. I'm happy most of the time. I think my default mood is "happy".
There does seem to be a cost to this seemingly perpetual happiness though...when a negative emotion is triggered within me, it takes me a very long time to go back to my default mood. It's extremely intense. I seem to feel emotions very intensely; be they positive or negative, but my default mood is "content" or what I consider to be happiness.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 13, 2013, at 0:06:16
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » alexandra_k, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 22:58:17
ah...
i mostly lost smell / taste when i smoked. i remember quitting and being astounded at how good food tasted / smelled. now... i mostly forget. but i surely stink after the gym and i'm sure i never used to, ha.
how are you with textures? thinking of things like bubblebaths or running the sand between your toes.
synesthesia... i remember this movie... can't remember what it was called... corky? corey? the boys name was. he went on summer camp and met a girl who was blind who just wanted to experience color. he tried to stimulate color experience in her by appealing to different senses.
of course it isn't the same thing...
but maybe there could be some pleasure to be found in that?
Posted by SLS on August 13, 2013, at 6:15:52
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2013, at 22:29:13
> I think the idea is that happiness is to be found in the moment... The moments where you aren't wondering whether you are happy.
Yup.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on August 13, 2013, at 6:53:31
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Deneb on August 12, 2013, at 23:50:36
> I'm pretty happy, but for me I consider myself happy when I'm content and not emotionally aroused in a negative way. I'm happy most of the time. I think my default mood is "happy".
Nice. You are indeed fortunate to have found a path that works so well for you. This is all you, Deneb. You have worked hard to discover healthy ways to process living life as you.
> There does seem to be a cost to this seemingly perpetual happiness though...
This might be a function of your being young and not yet experienced in dealing with disappointment. You are sure to learn new strategies to process challenging situations as you continue to learn and grow. I see you as having positive inertia right now. You are moving in a direction of attaining mental health and personal growth that I wish I had when I was your age.
I can tell you from experience that there is not a necessary cost for having your default mood be "happy". I think that as you gain more and more experience in the processing of the negative experiences in life, the greater will be your resilience and the less will be the "down-time" that you will experience as the result of these challenging situations.
I am only one person whose opinion really doesn't mean all that much, but I really like you - past, present, and future.
As for me, I am lucky enough to have found a path that helps me to find other paths. I am free to investigate a great many paths, each of which becomes mine as I explore them.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on August 13, 2013, at 18:48:55
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by alexandra_k on August 13, 2013, at 0:06:16
I do know what you mean as my Son was blinded in Desert Storm. He sees some but touch and for him taste & smell is also big on his list. I have to be outside to see and experience things. Textures are very important especially in my mouth. Chocolate truffles at night at the computer are a must. Yes they say that those that smoke don't taste as well. Phillipa
Posted by baseball55 on August 13, 2013, at 19:43:28
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » alexandra_k, posted by Phillipa on August 13, 2013, at 18:48:55
I'm pretty happy most of the time. Right now, I am in the midst of a very challenging emotional time due to health problems that will get better soon. But I try to think about things I'm grateful for to put me in a positive state of mind. I have a lot to be grateful for -- a wonderful child, a good marriage, a good therapist, a few good friends, enough money to be comfortable, a nice place to live.
I suffer from depression but it has gotten much less severe and mostly I can control it with meds and meditation. But mostly I think happiness lies in learning to be grateful on a daily basis. Yes, life can be hard, emotional illness can be horrible. But imagine the life of a 13 year old black kid whose single mother earns $15,000 a year and who gets harrassed by the police on his way home from school all the time. Isn't your life better?
Posted by Phil on August 14, 2013, at 18:21:17
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » SLS, posted by Dinah on August 12, 2013, at 14:56:50
I'm only happy when the next hotdog eating contest comes to town.
Deflect........
Posted by sleepygirl2 on August 14, 2013, at 21:21:29
In reply to Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 10:01:02
For 41 minutes, between 1992 and 1996.
That's it.
Just kidding.
Posted by Happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 0:16:11
In reply to Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2013, at 10:01:02
I am most days.
Posted by Twinleaf on August 15, 2013, at 11:41:37
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 0:16:11
Welcome back! It's so nice to see your name again, and to hear that things seem to be going well. Do let us know what's been happening.
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2013, at 20:36:52
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 0:16:11
Hence your name and what has been going on? Phillipa
Posted by happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 22:27:10
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Twinleaf on August 15, 2013, at 11:41:37
I haven't been here in a few years I guess. I am going to be graduating this Dec. with a BFA after changing my major from psych to art about two years ago. I plan to take some time off of school, get both of my kids into college, work on my art, and build my portfolio for grad school. I plan to be studying art in Chicago privately during this time. I love painting, photography and printmaking. I fell into art by accident after not ever having an art class in school. I haven't looked back since. It is weird to find something in my 40's that I had no idea I could do well and am so passionate about. But I never had the childhood to explore myself to even know. I put myself into my art, it has been very therapeutic for me, along with creative writing.
I found a therapist experienced in trauma therapy and I have worked hard with her for 3 years. EMDR and art therapy has really worked for me. I have worked hard and went from this "Child Called It" adult/child to learning about myself, learning to be a child who could be safe and work my way through developmentally, emotionally to where I can not let my past own me anymore. Although I can never forget my past, I have separated myself from allowing that not to color my present and future. EMDR helped remove the triggers I didn't even know I was experiencing and reacting to negatively.
I feel bad that I have behaved inappropriately here at times, hurt people, etc. I can see that now but I know sometimes bridges are burned forever and I understand that and take responsibility.
Well anyway, I decided to stop by and say hi. Maybe those new here, who don't know how horrible I behaved as a person , can know that with a good therapist, even the worst of trauma can be processed with a safe T. One that keeps boundaries. It didn't help that my first T was unethical, that just compounded the trauma I already had and add But like can get better, healing is possible.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2013, at 22:40:07
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 22:27:10
that is really cool to hear about your interest in art. i think sometimes that might be the thing to do with trauma... to use the... obsession isn't quite the word... the intensity of it all... to fuel something productive. or potentially so. i'm glad you are back and doing better.
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2013, at 22:46:32
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by happyflower123 on August 15, 2013, at 22:27:10
I remember you and don't think anything negative of you. You are Happyflower to me. Phillipa
Posted by happyflower123 on August 16, 2013, at 1:14:54
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2013, at 22:40:07
Thanks Alex,
It all happened by "accident." I was taking a creative writing class where we studied contemporary art and actually did this type of art in order to get our minds working creatively. We were required to do work in a sketch book of various collages. My poetry prof. told me after class he never knew I was an artist. I told him I wasn't. haha! He told me I should take a few art classes. I found out he had a BFA in art tool. Well the summer before these art classes, I ran into that unethical T AGAIN at another gym. It upset me so much that I just painted. That started the ball rolling. One thing led to another. Now I am doing art shows in galleries and last week got a commission to do for a fundraiser. All in three short years. During this time I have found that many "artists" have a past history of trauma. The arts are a safe way to express those emotions, safer than most people. I still have struggles, and sometimes something will trigger me. But I have learned to recognize that, and try to re-channel it into my art, writing, or to make an appointment with my T instead of lashing out or reacting in a negative way. I think for once in my life I can say I am happy,but it took a lot of work to get there. My T talks about riding the waves of emotion, eventually the emotion will lessen, no matter how bad it feels at the moment. I now trust and know that any strong emotion (even good ones) will subside. So when I say I am happy most days, it is true. I haven't had a chance to read through the posts, I was very surprised to see a lot of the same names here. Eventually I will get caught up. It seems like lately a lot of older members have been stopping by. Thanks Alex for the welcome! Hope things are going better for you.
Posted by happyflower123 on August 16, 2013, at 1:16:20
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy? » happyflower123, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2013, at 22:46:32
Thanks Phillipa,
That is very sweet of you. You might have an issues with memory though. haha! just kidding :)
Posted by happyflower123 on August 16, 2013, at 1:18:27
In reply to Re: Is Anyone Happy?, posted by Twinleaf on August 15, 2013, at 11:41:37
Thank you for the kind welcome back. It is always a little scary to post here, even now. But you made it easier. :D
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