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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on April 18, 2011, at 22:06:58
One of my co-workers is racist. It's ironic, but she is a black woman. I'd think that she of all people should be against racism? She ridicules and puts down Indians and Natives and perhaps other people too. It's bad. I stayed silent, but I'm wondering if that is just as bad?
I feel like I should have said something, but I didn't want to stir up trouble.
What should I have done? How do I deal with it? Should I just ignore it?
Posted by SLS on April 19, 2011, at 5:47:57
In reply to Racism - How to deal with it?, posted by Deneb on April 18, 2011, at 22:06:58
> One of my co-workers is racist. It's ironic, but she is a black woman. I'd think that she of all people should be against racism? She ridicules and puts down Indians and Natives and perhaps other people too. It's bad. I stayed silent, but I'm wondering if that is just as bad?
>
> I feel like I should have said something, but I didn't want to stir up trouble.
>
> What should I have done? How do I deal with it? Should I just ignore it?
Choose your battles wisely.You don't need to challenge this particular person at this particular time in order to further the cause. It could be counterproductive and make your life more difficult. I'm sure you will contribute to reducing racism throughout your lifetime. You just have to discover how to go about it in a way that is consistent with your disposition.
Good luck.
- Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on April 20, 2011, at 21:48:02
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » Deneb, posted by SLS on April 19, 2011, at 5:47:57
Methinks I agree.
Racism is colorblind.
However, as a person who has a history of enduring silently the affronts of others, then later stewing, I think there could be a Teflon approach to cultivate since she is a co-worker. Just so you don't have to listen. You don't have to change her.
But I'm not the person to give an example. I usually just leave....
> > One of my co-workers is racist. It's ironic, but she is a black woman. I'd think that she of all people should be against racism? She ridicules and puts down Indians and Natives and perhaps other people too. It's bad. I stayed silent, but I'm wondering if that is just as bad?
> >
> > I feel like I should have said something, but I didn't want to stir up trouble.
> >
> > What should I have done? How do I deal with it? Should I just ignore it?
>
>
> Choose your battles wisely.
>
> You don't need to challenge this particular person at this particular time in order to further the cause. It could be counterproductive and make your life more difficult. I'm sure you will contribute to reducing racism throughout your lifetime. You just have to discover how to go about it in a way that is consistent with your disposition.
>
> Good luck.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>
>
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2011, at 8:53:11
In reply to Racism - How to deal with it?, posted by Deneb on April 18, 2011, at 22:06:58
There is, unfortunately, a lot of that where I live.
With old people, I tend to just ignore it and switch the topic. The grew up in a world where that was accepted, and mores changed on them. I know some who try, but just can't fully take in the change.
With younger people, I tend to make it clear that it isn't welcome, without being terribly confrontational. To blankly stare before turning aside. Or, if it's someone I'm not likely to see often, to give just as blank a stare and say "My husband is ...." or "My brother in law is ...."
Or even "I haven't found that to be true...." At least I generally don't have to hear it as often. Although then I sometimes get a "Oh, I forgot that you are a fan of...." At which point a smile and appreciative "Thank you." generally is effective to stop further confidences.My favorite quote on the topic comes from Star Trek.
"The Vulcan Academy Murders" by Jean Lorrah
"'I do not understand,' Sarek said in that totally flat tone that McCoy had come to understand was a diplomatic way of saying 'I am refusing to understand so that you will not be embarrassed when you realize you have said something gauche.'"
Not that it helps any but to generally spare myself their thoughts. It's not like I'm going to change their minds.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 21, 2011, at 10:19:57
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » Deneb, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2011, at 8:53:11
Dinah
And the old star trek. I could remember your example vividly :-)
I'm going to remember your lines. Very effective.
Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2011, at 10:47:56
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » Dinah, posted by floatingbridge on April 21, 2011, at 10:19:57
I never really got in to any of the other Star Treks, though I tried.
But I love the initial series. My son can't get over the unrealistic special effects, I'm sad to say.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 9:22:13
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » floatingbridge, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2011, at 10:47:56
My husband watched/watches all of them. There might be three by now? Plus something called Stargate? (Maybe that's right.)
We still have fun every so often pretending to go to warp speed. We'll sit in our armchairs and shake for special effect. I'll hold my hand to my ear like Uhuru (sp?). One of us might say, "I dunno, Cap'in. She caan'n take much more of this. She gunna blow!
My son finds this enchantingly funny. I suspect he's younger than yours. He has had very little 'screen time' yet and hasn't seen any Star Trek.
Star Wars, well, he has a huge fantasy world based on Star Wars Legos. He play acts the various characters based on them and reading their bios in wookiepedia. In preschool, the kids would duel each other with this invisible 'life savers'. I miss those days.
My son is very sensitive (go figure) with a low threshold for imagery. Just yesterday we happily made it through the original trailer for the original Star
Wars. I felt so nostalgic. And it was so mild. I've only seen the first two ever.And the first one, I remember waiting for hours in freezing rain for tickets opening day. I still love it.
Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2011, at 11:57:27
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » Dinah, posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 9:22:13
My dear son was a huge Star Wars fan for years. But now his social circle seems to have moved onto video games, and dropped Star Wars a bit.
He has a lot of Star Wars legos packed away, and there was a period of time where we got thoroughly sick of Burger King kids meals as he collected the scores of Star Wars toys they put out. Those Star Wars legos get everywhere don't they? I'd almost hate to buy them because they'd fall apart and get lost and would just be a collection of small lego parts that turned up in the most unexpected places.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 13:23:42
In reply to Re: Racism - How to deal with it? » floatingbridge, posted by Dinah on April 22, 2011, at 11:57:27
> He has a lot of Star Wars legos packed away, and there was a period of time where we got thoroughly sick of Burger King kids meals as he collected the scores of Star Wars toys they put out. Those Star Wars legos get everywhere don't they? I'd almost hate to buy them because they'd fall apart and get lost and would just be a collection of small lego parts that turned up in the most
unexpected places.Ah yes. [Snapshot of interior of my
house in realtime.]And the urge to collect. Sigh.
I finally said we needed to deal with the Lego in the house before anymore came in.
And last week he smuggled a more
prized figure into his homeschool class and misplaced it. Yesterday I helped him search the school Lego pile. Sigh. No luck. Poor kid. I helped him through it. We decided to make a lost poster for the class.I think it went home in someone's pocket. (I kept that to myself.) I'm hoping a lost poster will elicit a kind-hearted impulse.
Then again, they do turn up anywhere.
Yes. Anywhere :-/It's like what my husband and I came up with regarding glitter. It's half-life is tremendous. Once introduced to the house, glitter will spread throughout the entirety and remain beyond the life expectancy of all occupants.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 13:25:59
In reply to the half-life of glitter, posted by floatingbridge on April 22, 2011, at 13:23:42
P.S.
Does your son know people auction Lego sets on eBay? Could make a little pocket money if he'd decide to part with them.
It's rather shocking :P
The prices asked, that is.
This is the end of the thread.
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