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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Christ_empowered on January 6, 2011, at 19:48:48
I finally socialized today, with an acquaintance I hadn't seen in a while. It was weird; I realized how under-socialized and solitary I am, which is something my therapist picked up on quickly and has been talking to me about for a while now.
My therapist's advice: just do it. Go to church, socialize more. I've gotta do it; I see now how rewarding social interaction can be and I'm ready to finally have a life.
Question is...how do I do it? I know church is a good start, but beyond that...what do I do? I'm 26, so I'm too old to hang around college kids, but too young for the married+kids, mid-30s crowd.
I just need some pointers on how to get a life. Thanks.
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 6, 2011, at 20:33:51
In reply to I gotta get out more, posted by Christ_empowered on January 6, 2011, at 19:48:48
Volunteering is a good way to meet people, they say. If you're religious, getting involved in your church -- volunteering, going to events -- should be a great way to meet people. Doing things you like that involve others -- singing in a chorus, joining an amateur sports team.
These are suggestions I've heard. For me, after I got sober and got some therapy, AA has been my social life. All my friends are in the program practically. I have at least eight friends I call and get together with regularly and more than a dozen I could call if I had time. I think for a lot of people, AA is sort of like a religious community in that there are regular meetings and a culture of caring for others.
I used to be the most solitary person you can imagine. Outside of my husband and daughter, I had never had a close friend in my entire life and I was in my 40s when I started AA. So it's never too late.
Posted by Solstice on January 6, 2011, at 21:49:19
In reply to I gotta get out more, posted by Christ_empowered on January 6, 2011, at 19:48:48
I'd suggest a few different things.
What interests do you have? You could pick up a list of Continuing Education classes, and sign up for a class in something that interests you. That kind of environment can be easy to experiment in because you can be the quiet guy and watch everyone else until you're comfortable, and there's a teacher who's in charge of guiding the interraction.
Then there's volunteering! Habitat for Humanity is a great one.. there are people in charge of organizing everything and running the show - and you just get to be there to do whatever task they have you doing. or an animal shelter... or whatever else would tap into your interests and talents. The great thing about volunteering is that volunteers usually get tons of appreciation and positive feedback - and all of that makes it easier for those who don't have a lot of self-confidence.
I think it's very courageous of you to take the risk of putting yourself out there!
Solstice
Posted by obsidian on January 6, 2011, at 21:54:37
In reply to Re: I gotta get out more, posted by emmanuel98 on January 6, 2011, at 20:33:51
I suppose it helps to be with others when u r trying to be sober. I went to a few ACOA meetings. Such traumatized people... Except for me of course ;-).
I think classes are a great thing... Continuing Ed classes. At local high schools and colleges. You can pick something you like. I took modern dance. We pranced a lot :-).
There are a lot of possibilities. I took journal writing too, drama therapy, art, other stuff.
Google continuing Ed and the name of your town.
Posted by Phillipa on January 7, 2011, at 0:46:29
In reply to I gotta get out more, posted by Christ_empowered on January 6, 2011, at 19:48:48
What do you enjoy doing for fun. Skiing isn't that far away, join a hiking club, I remember a nondemoninal Church that had all kinds of clubs for divorced people which I was at the time. That was fun and you are in a large crowd then break to smaller discussion groups then clubs. I wanted to join the Sierra Club. Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on January 7, 2011, at 19:46:48
In reply to I gotta get out more, posted by Christ_empowered on January 6, 2011, at 19:48:48
I know it has been said, but I would like to stress it nonetheless - VOLUNTEER! Find a an organization where you would like to work, and ask them if they need any volunteers. Also, where I live there is a volunteer section in the paper once a week with organizations that need help. No matter how sick I have been I always try to make sure that I volunteer. It will get you out of your own head.
Posted by MAxime on January 9, 2011, at 21:10:38
In reply to Re: I gotta get out more, posted by Solstice on January 6, 2011, at 21:49:19
> I'd suggest a few different things.
>
> What interests do you have? You could pick up a list of Continuing Education classes, and sign up for a class in something that interests you. That kind of environment can be easy to experiment in because you can be the quiet guy and watch everyone else until you're comfortable, and there's a teacher who's in charge of guiding the interraction.
>Oh I think that is a really great idea!! A continuing Ed class would be excellent! How do you feel about that suggestion? Thoughts? Fears?
I believe that you can do anything.
This is the end of the thread.
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