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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rnny on January 30, 2010, at 16:38:27
I would be glad to go into my present situation but wanted to throw the question out there first before I wasted time putting it up if it was going to be a subject that people can't really relate to. I have friends I don't even bother talking to about my neighbor 'problems' because they have never had them and can't relate. So I thought I would just start by asking if anyone here has ever had a neighbor situation that caused them to become more tense than they already may have been. I am in a situation like that right now and I don't think the approach I am taking is helping my tenseness. If you have had neighbor problems and want to talk about them, let me know. If you want to hear my present situation, let me know that too. I live in an apt. complex that is subsidized rent and "management" including the owner take the approach of "if you don't like it, leave". I have been in the same apt. for 10 years. I am a college graduate who is on social security disability for anxiety and depression and so money is an issue. I can't afford to pack up and move every time something happens where I live and I don't like it. Hope to hear from you! I am friendly on the surface and smile at people including strangers. I have good hygiene and dress appropriately. But in private life I am introverted and don't warm up to people that easily.
Posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2010, at 18:04:38
In reply to Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense?, posted by rnny on January 30, 2010, at 16:38:27
Oh yes I just try to avoid them. Why subject yourself to them if they increase your anxiety? What did these neighbors do if anything or is it just their attitude toward you and others? Not really sure what you mean. Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on January 30, 2010, at 18:42:13
In reply to Re: Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense? » rnny, posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2010, at 18:04:38
Have you ever walked up to anyone (let alone a neighbour) without at least a slight feeling of apprehension?
Posted by Sigismund on January 30, 2010, at 18:50:13
In reply to Re: Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense? » rnny, posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2010, at 18:04:38
>I am friendly on the surface and smile at people including strangers.
(I never know if I'm allowed, though I have no idea of who might not allow it, other than me. I have a carefully composed ambiguous demeanour )
Smile, wave and keep walking is a good policy.
For myself, being something of a pedant and averse to lies, I should respond to the inevitable
'How are you?'
with
'I've been anxious to catch up with/meet you.'
Posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2010, at 20:19:12
In reply to Re: Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense?, posted by Sigismund on January 30, 2010, at 18:50:13
Sigi I start conversations with strangers in stores anyplace I am and if I know I can leave when I like I'm fine. Love PJ
Posted by rnny on January 31, 2010, at 1:38:57
In reply to Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense?, posted by rnny on January 30, 2010, at 16:38:27
Neighbors who live below me and make noise and seem to be oblivious to the fact that when you live in an apt. there are courtesies you show by keeping noise to a decent level. Dog always barking, etc.
Posted by janejane on January 31, 2010, at 11:37:13
In reply to Have you ever had neighbors who made you tense?, posted by rnny on January 30, 2010, at 16:38:27
So you have complained to management and they won't do anything? Depending on how nice the downstairs people seem, I might mention to them that they are a little loud. They might not even aware of it. A barking dog would be hard to control, though. Then again it might backfire if they're vindictive, and they'll be louder. Have you thought about adding more carpet/rugs? I notice much less noise from our downstairs neighbors when I'm in rooms that have rugs. It does help muffle the sound. Craigslist might be a cheap source.
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