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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4 to 28 of 28. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:12:47
In reply to Re: I called the police » Deneb, posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 16:59:14
I was in broad daylight and this guy was masturbating and following me. What would have happened if I did not stop in the middle of the path? He was a small guy, but I am pretty small too and I'm not confident I would have been able to beat him off.
He walked the other direction away and I just continued home. I looked several times to see if he was following me and I didn't see him.
I think I'm carrying a whistle with me from now on. Next time I will shout out a description of the guy maybe. What should I do next time? Is pepper spray legal in Ontario?
Posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:29:16
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:12:47
OK, I found out pepper spray is illegal in Canada and probably a bad idea since some people have died from it and it enrages some people instead of making them go away. My whistle is my best bet.
Broad daylight, who would have thought there would be danger like that in broad daylight?
It is kind of good it happened because now I know to carry my whistle with me everywhere everytime. No bad guy is going to assault me! Next time I'll blow my whistle and yell out a description of the guy as he runs away.
Posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 17:41:01
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:12:47
Not sure sweetie but if you carry a .38 special and aim it at the object of his personal affection, that should solve the problem..but here in Texas we tend to solve problems with guns.
Here we have a law, forget what the word is but basically, your home is your castle. If some unfortunate lowlife sneaks in, blow his friggin head off. You won't be questioned.
Some folks don't like guns. I don't have one(but thats because us MI folks don't need guns around the house)
If you leave a restaurant late at night, or for that matter, in broad daylight, and 2 slimebags are walking towards you with a bad look in their eyes, would you like to have nothing or a gun?
In DC, crime is rampant. The bad guys have guns, the good guys can't have guns. Guess who wins every time.
Gun rant over.
Oh, never put yourself in an area or a position to get hurt. Always have someone with you, always.
You might consider a course that teaches women all about this stuff. It could save your life. Even in laid back Canada, eh.
Posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 18:04:18
In reply to Re: I called the police » Deneb, posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 17:41:01
For the life of me I cannot stop writing!!!grrrr
I was walking a popular trail that was basically deserted very early one morning.. must have walked 3 miles in. There was a clearing and a lady with her dog. I could tell she was petrified when she saw me. She was damn scared.
I didn't know what to do
1 approach her and tell her I was harmless? Nope.
2 Turn back to go back down the trail where she might think I was hiding in wait?
3Let her go first where she thinks I might follow her.
I think I just turned around and went back first.
Her dog wasn't a protection type so he was useless but if she had a boyfriend, another girl or two, she never would have been in a position to be raped and killed and that stuff happens every day.
Posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 18:28:11
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 18:04:18
Ottawa is a pretty safe city for the most part. I've lived here for 17 years and I've never been followed or assaulted or anything. I haven't been very outgoing all these years though.
I'm actually not scared. I thought I was scared, but I was just excited. I'm not scared for some reason.
There is no way around going outside alone. I don't have a boyfriend (or really any friends).
I have to go outside alone. I take the bus. I don't know how to drive. I'm just going to have my whistle handy from now on and I actually have a really dorky looking reflective sash. LOL I'll wear the sash when I find it is getting dark. I'd look like a dork but that's what I want. I want to draw attention to myself. I've worn it before. I am definitely not afraid of looking like a dork. LOL
Posted by hyperfocus on July 31, 2009, at 19:18:13
In reply to I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 16:43:54
It must have been really scary but sounds like you did a good job taking care of yourself. high-five.
Posted by Phillipa on July 31, 2009, at 19:41:59
In reply to Re: I called the police » Deneb, posted by hyperfocus on July 31, 2009, at 19:18:13
Yup Deneb good job. Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 19:54:16
In reply to Re: I called the police » Deneb, posted by hyperfocus on July 31, 2009, at 19:18:13
> It must have been really scary but sounds like you did a good job taking care of yourself. high-five.
Hmmm...actually at the time I wasn't really scared. He didn't look intimidating. He wasn't that much bigger than me. Actually now I am just angry and wish I had said, "F*ck off! Stop following me you m*th*rf*ck*r!" That probably would have scared him off. He looked cowardly. He was clearly trying to make it seem like he wasn't following me by smiling and attempting to make conversation. Once he saw me stop, he went away the other direction, probably scared.
Yeah, next time this happens, I am definitely saying, the f*ck off thing really loudly. LOL
Posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 21:29:35
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 19:54:16
Sometimes if I feel threatened I can put on one of those faces that says if you touch me I'll kill you and I won't even care. Of course if the other guy really looks that way I have a problem.
When I was running a store in the 70's,several salespeople told me that when I was really pissed or about to fire someone, I got that look. lol
Totally emotionless but eye to eye, you just pissed me off and you're going down.I had total backing from the VP of Sales because he trained me. So if I let you go, you had no recourse. But once again, I've veered off topic.
ps..I was no Billy Badd$ss and never wanted to put someone on the street so if they got there they deserved it and were warned.
Posted by TexasChic on July 31, 2009, at 21:43:44
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 19:54:16
I think getting to a public place as soon as possible is the best thing to do. Maybe even running to a house and knocking on the door and then explaining the situation. I wouldn't go in, but just getting someone else involved as a witness might be a good idea. I don't know about yelling at them, what if it sets then off? Of course, I couldn't imagine saying that to someone anyway! LOL! But that's just me.
So pepper spray is illegal there? That sucks! I don't know if I could use a gun, but pepper spray I could use. A whistle is a good idea too though. Also, always be alert and aware of your surroundings.
I agree it's not always possible to have someone else along. I'm by myself most of the time too. I think maybe having a game plan is the best bet. I read somewhere to hold your keys in your fist (with the keys pointing out) as a weapon. Then aim for the eyes. Just knowing how you would handle an attack is better than nothing.
I think you did good to call the cops. I would rather run the risk of overreacting than get attacked any day!
Stay safe!!!
-T
Posted by Tabitha on July 31, 2009, at 22:27:04
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:12:47
> I'm not confident I would have been able to beat him off.
Oh my.
Posted by 10derHeart on August 1, 2009, at 0:17:23
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Tabitha on July 31, 2009, at 22:27:04
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2009, at 5:54:34
In reply to I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 16:43:54
I'm glad you called the police. Guys who do that aren't necessarily going to be violent, but they can cause damage anyway.
When I was younger, my mother and I had a regular practice of going to our local library. There was a guy who hung out there and would angle himself away from the grownups and rub himself. Of course I didn't quite know what he was doing. I thought he was creepy and avoided being near him or looking in his direction. I'd get up and move to a different seat - sometimes more than once a night. It would never have occurred to me to turn him in. I wouldn't have known what to turn him in for.
Once I got to middle school I was past the kids books and teen books, and had free run of the relatively small library. Not infrequently this guy would be there, down the aisle from me, or in the next stack. I never felt physically threatened but again it made me enormously uncomfortable - although I still couldn't put my finger on why. My mother had given me The Talk, but it hadn't extended to this behavior. I'd move on whenever I saw him, and tried not to look at him.
One day I decided I was being foolish, and that I wasn't going to run anymore. I wasn't that far from the librarian, he was in the aisle over, it would be fine to browse at leisure. Bad idea. He enjoyed that so thoroughly that finally even I got a glimmer of understanding, but by then it was over. I was too ashamed to say anything. I felt like I was to blame for not moving on as usual. I didn't know then quite what had happened, although looking back it's clear. But I had finally figured out it had something to do with sex.
I started making excuses to skip our trips to the library, and only returned to use the reference materials in full view of the librarian. My mother never knew why. The guy was still showing up.
It was wrong of me not to report him. The world wasn't as vigilant then as it is now, but surely if I reported him he wouldn't have been allowed back in. I'm sure I wasn't the first young girl, and I'm sure I wasn't the last.
I'm glad you reported him. People can do harm even if they don't do violence.
Posted by Kath on August 1, 2009, at 11:11:36
In reply to Re: I called the police » Deneb, posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 16:59:14
> Good job deneb. What a pervert. You probably know this but don't go home with a perv or some other nut following you, go to c store etc. Don't let them know where u live.
~ ~ What a good point Phil. I know I've heard this before regarding being followed in a car. It's really important!
A friend's daughter DID go home & was able to slam the door in the guy' face & he tried to get in the window!!! Then when she slammed it, said, "Ill be back to get you". (He did not appear again - police were called etc) So that story ended up okay, but very good point about not leading them back to one's home.
Deneb - sorry this happened. Yuck.
luv, Kath
Posted by Kath on August 1, 2009, at 11:32:43
In reply to Calling police (Trigger) » Deneb, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2009, at 5:54:34
Deneb - I've taken the sessions twice & have two 12" x 12" 1" thick boards that I broke in half with a 'karate chop' of my hand, at the end of the classes. They do that at the end.
The put the board on bricks or something & you kneel in front of it & hold your arm up high then WHOOOOM - down to the floor right through the board.
A couple of women had a lot of trouble doing it - were scared it was going to hurt (it doesn't). They were encouraged to think of someone who they would LIKE to hit & every last woman broke her board.
The classes are very good. Also, I suggest phoning your local police station. I once went to a women's self defence evening put on by a man & woman police officer. It was wonderful, with some very good non-physical suggestions also. I still remember the female cop telling that once she had to wait (not in uniform) for a bus at a deserted bus stop late at night. A car pulled up across the street & the cop made a HUGE production of picking her nose, deeply & revoltingly & intently observing the "results" before convincingly pretending to pop them into her mouth!!!! LOL The car zoomed away!
Anyway, the WENDO especially instils in women their strengths & ATTITUDE. As TC said, having glittering metal points (keys) protruding from between your fingers, while walking strongly & purposefully along is NOT a statement of a potential victim.
PS - I don't think we should have to worry about wearing summer clothes in summer weather!!! Maybe if you had had a skin-tight, low-cut party dress & high heels & were swaying your hips to beat the band, it might put thoughts into someone's head. But I don't think normal summer clothing is "asking for trouble" - that makes me mad!
Anyway, Ottawa is where the thing I wrote about above happened & there had been a series of similar events in that area, so good for you about the whistle & I hope you look into WENDO. I loved it.....that was decades ago & I still have the boards - which have written across them - if you put them together it says something like "Kath broke this board with her inner strength" or something like that. I also still have the strong "don't friggin mess with me buddy" attitude that I can pull up if I need it!
hugs, Kath
Let me know about the WENDO if you do it.
Posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:44:49
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Phil on July 31, 2009, at 21:29:35
I read that women should walk with confidence and not seem weak or scared. Getting angry by instead of scared can make it so that you are not an easy target. Those predators usually go for the easy targets and if you look like you're going to kill someone, unless they are stupid, they would back off.
I should practice my killer look. LOL
Posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:50:06
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by TexasChic on July 31, 2009, at 21:43:44
If I run to a house, I'd be afraid that no one would be home, that would be bad. Running to people is a good idea.
The key thing is a good idea. I heard it was best to aim for the eyes too.
Posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:57:28
In reply to Calling police (Trigger) » Deneb, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2009, at 5:54:34
I don't think this guy was violent either, but yeah, he could do some real harm.
When I was in my 1st year of university the same thing happened to me in the library. It was the public library downtown. I was sitting at a table reading and the guy across from me was masturbating and looking at me. I should have reported him to the security guard, but I'm not sure why I didn't think to. I'd never seen someone masturbating before. I think I wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. I was kind of naive.
Posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:58:50
In reply to WENDO - Great women's self defence classes, posted by Kath on August 1, 2009, at 11:32:43
Thanks for the suggestion Kath. I have free time right now. I think I will look into a self defense class.
Posted by emme on August 2, 2009, at 5:57:39
In reply to WENDO - Great women's self defence classes, posted by Kath on August 1, 2009, at 11:32:43
Hi All,
Several years ago, I took at RAD (Rape Regression Defense class). It is part of a national program, but taught by local police. It was 12 hours done in 4 three hour sessions and was possibly the must useful 12 hours I ever spent.
It was very physical, with lots of drills in self-defense moves, culminating in a simulated attack by one of the police officers (in a padded suit). All of us, even the tiny women, were able to use the moves to repel him.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
Check out their web site:
emme
Posted by seldomseen on August 2, 2009, at 9:34:04
In reply to Re: I called the police, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2009, at 17:29:16
Pepper spray is illegal in canada? Wow, that's pretty impressive.
I agree, a whistle is a great defensive tactic. I keep one with me all the time, especially in strange places.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on August 2, 2009, at 9:41:58
In reply to WENDO - Great women's self defence classes, posted by Kath on August 1, 2009, at 11:32:43
I agree that attitude can be very repelling to a potential attacker, as they typically take the path of least resistance.
It also helps to be armed in some way (keys, whistles, air horns if that's all you can have) and to be prepared to not be polite at all.
I think we are trained to be polite and gracious to strangers, but sometimes the best approach (especially if that little voice in your head is saying "danger") is to drop that training and go on the absolute offensive.
I feel somewhat fortunate that I live in the southern US. Most people in the region where I live just expect others to be armed, so even if I'm not, I get the benefit of that doubt. I strongly believe that the best defense is a good offensive.
Seldom.
Posted by Kath on August 2, 2009, at 10:38:01
In reply to Re: I called the police » TexasChic, posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:50:06
> The key thing is a good idea. I heard it was best to aim for the eyes too.
~ ~ At WENDO we were encouraged to do numerous things at once!! We have our hands, elbows, feet, (even head I guess, although the thought of head-butting someone does not appeal to me).
For example, say stomp the person's foot, then as lifting the foot, attempt a knee to the groin, while scratching the face with the keys - that type of thing - think of yourself as a moving, multi facetted weapon-machine! LOL
K
PS - all the while, being loudly, strongly vocal!!
Posted by Kath on August 2, 2009, at 10:47:44
In reply to Re: WENDO - Great women's self defence classes » Kath, posted by Deneb on August 1, 2009, at 12:58:50
> Thanks for the suggestion Kath. I have free time right now. I think I will look into a self defense class.
~ ~ Great idea Deneb.
I strongly recommend WENDO or the RAD that Emme was mentioning sounded good,
I once took a women's self-defense couse (classes) at night school at a high school. It totally lacked the BE STRONG - NO DAMNED NONSENSE approach. It wasn't helping us be aware of & tap into our inner strength & power.
While WENDO was presented as 'by women, for women' at the end one woman brought her HUGE brother for us to work with & get the chance to see (as in the course Emme mentioned) that we could, indeed defend ourself against a strong, large man.
Let us know what you come up with Deneb.
love, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on August 3, 2009, at 20:03:05
In reply to Re: WENDO - Great women's self defence classes, posted by Kath on August 2, 2009, at 10:47:44
With such helpful information! Grrrl power! Woohoo!
-T
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