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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
My 19 year old son has a problem with drugs and alcohol. He is in jail for the 4th time since he was 15. The latest is for stealing alcohol and a DUI related accident. He is going to be released from jail soon and I want to do the right thing. I have done the tough love, taken him to rehab meetings, etc. I totally understand that HE is the only one that can change things. He has been using a bible related workbook for addicts while in jail (he asked me to purchase it and send to him which I did). Now he says he wants to live a new life, away from his old "party friends", etc. We recently moved to a different state than him. He misses us terribly and wants to come with us. Do I let him or do I continue to do the "you are on your own" parenting? Before jail, he was basically living on the street, literally sleeping on friends patios, he was kicked out of college, kicked out of his sisters apartment, etc.How do I support him now?
Posted by Phillipa on October 30, 2008, at 12:58:05
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
Kam I don't know as going through the same thing with my Grandson 18. He's playing his Father my Son and me so my Son hates me. Used to be Tough love and meetings helped but doesn't seem to work for a lot today. Maybe some others will have suggestions? I sure hope so. Phillipa and I do know what you're going through.
Posted by Phil on October 30, 2008, at 14:28:17
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
My best recommendation to keep YOU sane is Al-Anon.
I've heard this exact scenario in Al-Anon meetings countless times.
Worry about your son later, worry about you now.
Posted by Sigismund on October 30, 2008, at 17:30:02
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
Do you believe him?
In jail 4 times since being 15.
That's a lot of experience, most of it bad, I'd imagine.But he's only 19.
If I could believe him, I'd help, if I were in your shoes, but I wouldn't want to be used.
I would accept though that addiction is a relapsing condition.
Posted by TexasChic on October 30, 2008, at 22:33:24
In reply to Re: My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by Sigismund on October 30, 2008, at 17:30:02
Although the people here can give you a lot of support, I think you definitely need professional help with this, whether Al-Anon or a therapist. This is too serious and too important not to get the best help you can. But feel free to come back and vent whenever you want! I hope you'll let us know how things are going.
-T
Posted by Kath on October 31, 2008, at 19:25:34
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
Boy can I relate.
I'm sorry I can't answer right now, but I will, probably later tonite.
My son is 24. Has been doing drugs since 14 yrs.
I WILL get back to ya,
:-) (((((((((you))))))))))) Kath
Posted by manic666 on November 1, 2008, at 5:54:59
In reply to Re: My son is an alcoholic - what do I do? » KamsMom, posted by Kath on October 31, 2008, at 19:25:34
ONE OF MY BUDDIES READ THE BIBLE IN JAIL , IT TOTALY CHANGED HIM . BUT HE BECAME A PEST WITH HIS PREACHING. IT CHANGED HIS LIFE BUT TO WHAT IS DEBATABLE.IF YOUR SON JUST TAKES IT IN AN NOT BECOME OBSESSED IT COULD HELP HIM.MY BUDDY JUST SWAPPED ONE OBSESSION FOR ANOTHER. MANIC666
Posted by Kath on November 1, 2008, at 20:04:17
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
> Do I let him or do I continue to do the "you are on your own" parenting? Before jail, he was basically living on the street, literally sleeping on friends patios, he was kicked out of college, kicked out of his sisters apartment, etc.How do I support him now?
~ ~ ~ ~ Dear KamsMom, I would strongly urge you to give him a chance for a new start. You can always do the "you are on your own" thing again if he messes up again. Looking back on my long hard journey with my 24 year old son, there are a few things I wish I had done differently. They involved taking a less rigid stand in certain situations. It's VERY hard to look back & wish I took a less rigid stand. I will never know how it might have changed his life.
Please feel free to Babblemail me. I will give you whatever support I can.
Many warm, empathetic thoughts, Kath
Posted by Kath on November 1, 2008, at 20:07:47
In reply to My son is an alcoholic - what do I do?, posted by KamsMom on October 30, 2008, at 11:27:50
On reading the other posts,
I agree that Al-Anon would probably be a very good support.
I also agree that professional support for your family would be a great idea.
Very best of luck Kath
(agree about the changing obsessions, but I think the Bible a far cry better than alcohol/drugs as an obsession.
This is the end of the thread.
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