![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 25, 2008, at 14:19:43
Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd and sad
I know everyone is disappointed when they don't get a certain position after a job interview. Well, I've got a bit of a story to tell. It goes like...once upon a time this guy Jay was told by his supervisor that there was a position opening up, and would he possibly like to *take over* the position. So, I say, yes, because it is a better paying job as a therapist. (Which is what I do right now, but I do 'contract' work, have crazy hours, and am not in the union.) So, boss say's "Wait a few weeks...". And I do so, no problem, because I actually have a good relationship with my boss. We are both about the same age, went to the same highschool, etc.
Then, after waiting and waiting and WAITING, I get around to asking "Da Boss" about this open position. He reassures me again, just wait a bit longer. So, I wait some more, and after about two months, he tells me he has to give the position to some other guy, because he has more seniority then I do. (And I am not even in the union **yet**!)
So, I come in for my shift to my office one day, and in with the inter-office mail is this internal job posting for the SAME job I was told, originally, I would get! So, I grit my teeth, and am feeling almost betrayed and nauseous.
Being the 'glunk' I am, I simply toss in my resume to Human Resources. I get a call from the HR people asking for an interview. (After almost 5 years of an excellent job record...near perfect attendance, going above and beyond everybody to look after my clients...they want this!!)I get to the interview, and sitting there is a gal from HR and my boss. I think, hey, "this guy knows my track record, I'll do great." So, the interview starts, and I admit mainly because of my medications, it takes me an extra 20 seconds or so to really put together good answers to lengthy questions. I am sure you all can relate. I answer the truth, don't make up b*llsh*t (probably my weak spot!), and am confident in what I say and who I am. With conquering depression and anxiety, I made a vow to be myself at all times, and I am pretty darn good in the field of social work. The, they start asking me particular questions about the job I am *applying* for. Well, yes I know what is usually expected about it, but they want all of these specific answers. (Like, "name three problem areas 'this client' has to work on.") I've never actually worked on that job site, so how the hell am I supposed to know? lol. Then they get to policies and procedures, and I answer with a few very common ones, and considering the policy book is about 3,000 pages in length, you can only know so much! But, my boss, who was asking the questions, threw these in out of the blue, and he wanted more examples, which I gave him, but he just had this look on his face, like "Those are easy examples...". I had a Dilbert vision of him asking "What is on page 1094, section 2, part 7b, point 1 h, k, and r..". Memorizing this thing is not part of my job. Knowing what is important is, and I had no problem with that. Never mind both of the interviewers acting like we could all do this in 10 minutes!
They told me they'd get back within a week, yet I HAD to call my boss (before he went on vacation on Friday) and ASK HIM what the deal was! Well, of course he said no I didn't get the job, and THEN, tried to tell me I should come to him for advice about how to answer questions better in an interview. I am the one who used to be an employment counselor, a damn good one too, for f*ck sakes! (Pardon my French) The only education he has is a little course he took when on unemployment before he started, as a "Personal Support Worker". I've got my University degree in Social Work! Yet, because he looks "cute" and has a perfect body, where they look at big me and think I must be a lazy fat slob and because he has more hair and acts like he is on amphetamines much of the time, they love him because he'll fall to their knees as soon as they undo their zipper! (sorry...couldn't hold back..ha).
So, I am just a few credits short of getting my other degree in B.Ed. I can either go into teaching, or use my degrees to start teaching at the college level. I honestly am more sad then mad. Two-faced betrayal. And....I still haven't even called my boss up on the original 'promise' of getting the job he made. One little tiny good thing, is that I found out for some reason, I am now in the union. I can start making some noise if I really want to. (Oh ya, and another thing. I lent my boss a computer, an extra, slightly older model I had laying around, a few years ago to 'test out', and then he was supposed to 'buy' it from me if he wanted to. Well, he never gave back the computer, never gave me a dime, and never said 'boo' about the situation!)
I know..."I let it all happen"...but I just always tried to do the right, GOOD thing. Doesn't seem to work out. :(
Jay
Posted by Toph on July 25, 2008, at 16:40:21
In reply to Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 25, 2008, at 14:19:43
Sorry they didn't recognize and reward your abilities Jay. A couple thoughts. Being in the union helps. From now on, if you are the senior applicant, the job is yours. I remember being asked some standard questions years ago when I applied for a child protection position. These included the typical, "You're at at grocery store and you see a woman with small children slip a can of beans in her purse. What do you do?" There is no absolutely correct answer. They just want to see how you think on your feet and watch for extreme answers that indicate someone is overly authoritarian, biased or judgmental, for example. I hope they weren't trying to find a way to exclude you rather than looking for ways to promote you. This job is tough enough as it is without feeling unsupported. As for your boss, I have never understood, frankly, why someone would choose to work behind a desk when they could work directly with clients.
Posted by TexasChic on July 25, 2008, at 21:50:22
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position..., posted by Toph on July 25, 2008, at 16:40:21
Dude, I so feel your pain. Different circumstances, but similar in many ways. It sounds like your boss was kind of baiting you by asking a bunch of stuff in a way he knew would make you nervous. What a jerk.
As for interviews, I've found its easier just to think of them as a game. You practice the answers that make you sound like a super hero because that's what they want to hear. Of course I'm not saying things are this way for every job interview and that's that. These are just some conclusions I've come to in my admittedly brief time in corporate America.
I'm like you, I like to say it like it is, but I think interviews are kind of like playing a part in a play. They don't want to hear any weaknesses, they want to hear that you can do it all. The whole thing can make you sick because its so ridiculous, but it seems to work. I always figure if I can get through the interview and get the job, THEN I will have the chance to prove myself. Either that or you get a boss that's a total PsychoBitch that you can do nothing to please... but that's digressing into my issues.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2008, at 23:08:47
In reply to Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 25, 2008, at 14:19:43
Jay I'm truly sorry. I do agree with Toph as when went to nursing school didn't want a BA as wanted to work with the clients, patients. Boring sitting behind a desk. And yes now that you are part of the Union You have it made so to speak. And I'm poitive your're an asset to the kids. Looks stop knocking yourself it's whats between the eyes that count. I firmly believe this. Love and sorry but another will come up and bet it's a better position this was your test interview try and think of it like that. Kindness is so hard to find and you eminate kindness. Love Phillipa
Posted by Poet on July 26, 2008, at 12:05:02
In reply to Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 25, 2008, at 14:19:43
Hi Jay,
I feel for you. I've been turned down for more jobs than I can count hence my self imposed nickname of Queen of the Employment Losers. I'm interviewing (again) and I dread the inane questions. I really hate "why do you want to work here?" Uh, because my unemployment check doesn't pay the bills, and unfortunately I haven't won the lottery yet. Inane questions deserve sarcastic answers, but of course I have to mumble what a great company they are. Argh.
I'm sorry they didn't recognize that you were right for the job. Cyber slaps to their heads.
Poet
Posted by Polarbear206 on July 28, 2008, at 8:39:36
In reply to Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 25, 2008, at 14:19:43
> Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd and sad
>
> I know everyone is disappointed when they don't get a certain position after a job interview. Well, I've got a bit of a story to tell. It goes like...once upon a time this guy Jay was told by his supervisor that there was a position opening up, and would he possibly like to *take over* the position. So, I say, yes, because it is a better paying job as a therapist. (Which is what I do right now, but I do 'contract' work, have crazy hours, and am not in the union.) So, boss say's "Wait a few weeks...". And I do so, no problem, because I actually have a good relationship with my boss. We are both about the same age, went to the same highschool, etc.
>
> Then, after waiting and waiting and WAITING, I get around to asking "Da Boss" about this open position. He reassures me again, just wait a bit longer. So, I wait some more, and after about two months, he tells me he has to give the position to some other guy, because he has more seniority then I do. (And I am not even in the union **yet**!)
>
> So, I come in for my shift to my office one day, and in with the inter-office mail is this internal job posting for the SAME job I was told, originally, I would get! So, I grit my teeth, and am feeling almost betrayed and nauseous.
> Being the 'glunk' I am, I simply toss in my resume to Human Resources. I get a call from the HR people asking for an interview. (After almost 5 years of an excellent job record...near perfect attendance, going above and beyond everybody to look after my clients...they want this!!)
>
> I get to the interview, and sitting there is a gal from HR and my boss. I think, hey, "this guy knows my track record, I'll do great." So, the interview starts, and I admit mainly because of my medications, it takes me an extra 20 seconds or so to really put together good answers to lengthy questions. I am sure you all can relate. I answer the truth, don't make up b*llsh*t (probably my weak spot!), and am confident in what I say and who I am. With conquering depression and anxiety, I made a vow to be myself at all times, and I am pretty darn good in the field of social work. The, they start asking me particular questions about the job I am *applying* for. Well, yes I know what is usually expected about it, but they want all of these specific answers. (Like, "name three problem areas 'this client' has to work on.") I've never actually worked on that job site, so how the hell am I supposed to know? lol. Then they get to policies and procedures, and I answer with a few very common ones, and considering the policy book is about 3,000 pages in length, you can only know so much! But, my boss, who was asking the questions, threw these in out of the blue, and he wanted more examples, which I gave him, but he just had this look on his face, like "Those are easy examples...". I had a Dilbert vision of him asking "What is on page 1094, section 2, part 7b, point 1 h, k, and r..". Memorizing this thing is not part of my job. Knowing what is important is, and I had no problem with that. Never mind both of the interviewers acting like we could all do this in 10 minutes!
>
> They told me they'd get back within a week, yet I HAD to call my boss (before he went on vacation on Friday) and ASK HIM what the deal was! Well, of course he said no I didn't get the job, and THEN, tried to tell me I should come to him for advice about how to answer questions better in an interview. I am the one who used to be an employment counselor, a damn good one too, for f*ck sakes! (Pardon my French) The only education he has is a little course he took when on unemployment before he started, as a "Personal Support Worker". I've got my University degree in Social Work! Yet, because he looks "cute" and has a perfect body, where they look at big me and think I must be a lazy fat slob and because he has more hair and acts like he is on amphetamines much of the time, they love him because he'll fall to their knees as soon as they undo their zipper! (sorry...couldn't hold back..ha).
>
> So, I am just a few credits short of getting my other degree in B.Ed. I can either go into teaching, or use my degrees to start teaching at the college level. I honestly am more sad then mad. Two-faced betrayal. And....I still haven't even called my boss up on the original 'promise' of getting the job he made. One little tiny good thing, is that I found out for some reason, I am now in the union. I can start making some noise if I really want to. (Oh ya, and another thing. I lent my boss a computer, an extra, slightly older model I had laying around, a few years ago to 'test out', and then he was supposed to 'buy' it from me if he wanted to. Well, he never gave back the computer, never gave me a dime, and never said 'boo' about the situation!)
>
> I know..."I let it all happen"...but I just always tried to do the right, GOOD thing. Doesn't seem to work out. :(
>
> JayI wouldn't bring it up about the computer with him just after what went down. He'll probably assume this is your way of getting back at him, and will only worsen the situation. It would of been nice if your boss would of given you the heads up prior to your interview about some of the questions that might be asked. It really sucks being put on the spot like that. I think it was very unprofessional of your boss not to get back to you about if you got the job or not. Your so close to your educational goals. If teaching is one of your passions, then go for it. :)
P.S.
I hope all is well with your dad and your sister.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 14:00:12
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position..., posted by Toph on July 25, 2008, at 16:40:21
> Sorry they didn't recognize and reward your abilities Jay. A couple thoughts. Being in the union helps. From now on, if you are the senior applicant, the job is yours. I remember being asked some standard questions years ago when I applied for a child protection position. These included the typical, "You're at at grocery store and you see a woman with small children slip a can of beans in her purse. What do you do?" There is no absolutely correct answer. They just want to see how you think on your feet and watch for extreme answers that indicate someone is overly authoritarian, biased or judgmental, for example. I hope they weren't trying to find a way to exclude you rather than looking for ways to promote you. This job is tough enough as it is without feeling unsupported. As for your boss, I have never understood, frankly, why someone would choose to work behind a desk when they could work directly with clients.
>
>Hey Toph....
Thanks kindly for the thoughtful post. I just really "throw my hands up" in this situation, as I don't know who to trust and who not to. Generally speaking, I err on the "trusting" side, meaning somebody has to do something kinda nasty before I really become mis-trustful. That also means I leave myself open to being walked over and used as well, but I try to throw in some rational thought, and hope it all balances out itself. This is the sort-of thing that makes me want to take fewer chances, though, and I am already phobic enough to taking chances as it is! lol.
I am totally perplexed by these people who come in without really any education or experience, and become the bosses and rulers of the land! (I know, education and experience don't mean everything....but...) Like, this next person who is supposedly in line to be my supervisor is 24 years old, looks like he is 12, and is apparently quite clueless. Ha! But, since I am uncomfortable with it all anyways, I am going to start sending my resume out. That is probably the smartest move for me. I am being a bit hypocritical if I just stay where I am. Thanks again for your post!Best,
Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 19:53:30
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position... » Toph, posted by TexasChic on July 25, 2008, at 21:50:22
> Dude, I so feel your pain. Different circumstances, but similar in many ways. It sounds like your boss was kind of baiting you by asking a bunch of stuff in a way he knew would make you nervous. What a jerk.
>
> As for interviews, I've found its easier just to think of them as a game. You practice the answers that make you sound like a super hero because that's what they want to hear. Of course I'm not saying things are this way for every job interview and that's that. These are just some conclusions I've come to in my admittedly brief time in corporate America.
>
> I'm like you, I like to say it like it is, but I think interviews are kind of like playing a part in a play. They don't want to hear any weaknesses, they want to hear that you can do it all. The whole thing can make you sick because its so ridiculous, but it seems to work. I always figure if I can get through the interview and get the job, THEN I will have the chance to prove myself. Either that or you get a boss that's a total PsychoBitch that you can do nothing to please... but that's digressing into my issues.
>
>
> -TThank you T.C. I've read consistently about your difficulties with arsehole employers, bosses, co-workers, etc. It's really sad that in a place where we have to spend at least 40 hours a week, we have to be subject to almost slave-like, abusive conditions sometimes. The really sick part is we are made to feel so REALLY "small". That is a human rights violations, as far as I am concerned. Like you said, the little 'games' people play, the baiting, the mind-f*cks, things that us with especially sensitive mental health conditions DON'T need. It's like we are back on the playground in Grade 3 again. Except the words, the 'code', is different. But, the meaning is till the same. "We don't like you so we are not gonna let you play...nah nah na nah nah..." lol.) Well, what can we do? I still often wish and dream about living way up in Northern Canada and being a Forest Ranger or something like that. Maybe when I grow up? When will THAT happen? Hmmm. I dunno. lol.
Jay :-)
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 20:34:19
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2008, at 23:08:47
> Jay I'm truly sorry. I do agree with Toph as when went to nursing school didn't want a BA as wanted to work with the clients, patients. Boring sitting behind a desk. And yes now that you are part of the Union You have it made so to speak. And I'm poitive your're an asset to the kids. Looks stop knocking yourself it's whats between the eyes that count. I firmly believe this. Love and sorry but another will come up and bet it's a better position this was your test interview try and think of it like that. Kindness is so hard to find and you eminate kindness. Love Phillipa
>
>Thanks for your kindness as always Phillipa..:) I am just focused more on the future now, on getting my second degree, and maybe a better job outside of this place. If I stay...that is fine...if I find better, well that is good too. Maybe this is a bit of a wake-up call for me to have a bit of a better look out there, and that maybe I can find better. I will say, I am very grateful to my current employer, because they hired me when I was so desperate for a good job. I've been good to them, and they have been good to me, but it's just we hit a bit of a "stalemate" over this job posting. Well, I've got a window of about a year or so to really change things, so we will see what happens! Thanks again....
Jay :-)
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 20:45:19
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Poet on July 26, 2008, at 12:05:02
> Hi Jay,
>
> I feel for you. I've been turned down for more jobs than I can count hence my self imposed nickname of Queen of the Employment Losers. I'm interviewing (again) and I dread the inane questions. I really hate "why do you want to work here?" Uh, because my unemployment check doesn't pay the bills, and unfortunately I haven't won the lottery yet. Inane questions deserve sarcastic answers, but of course I have to mumble what a great company they are. Argh.
>
> I'm sorry they didn't recognize that you were right for the job. Cyber slaps to their heads.
>
> PoetPoet...
You are FAR from being any type of "loser"! You are a good person, and the world doesn't really appreciate such people. THAT is the really sad part. Ya, it's crazy, we have to make up so much b*llsh*t when we go to a job interview, I don't think there is a shovel big enough to handle it all! lol. Usually I feel really weird after I come out of a job interview, like "..I said ALL that?!?!?"..lol. It's really just a big scam...like you said, you mumble what they want to hear. It's actually a pretty degrading feeling now that I think about it..ha! Thanks very much, because what you say on here is much more meaningful then the crap they try to pull over our eyes!
Best,
Jay :)
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 21:06:06
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position..need a shoulder..p'd, sad, posted by Polarbear206 on July 28, 2008, at 8:39:36
>
> I wouldn't bring it up about the computer with him just after what went down. He'll probably assume this is your way of getting back at him, and will only worsen the situation. It would of been nice if your boss would of given you the heads up prior to your interview about some of the questions that might be asked. It really sucks being put on the spot like that. I think it was very unprofessional of your boss not to get back to you about if you got the job or not. Your so close to your educational goals. If teaching is one of your passions, then go for it. :)
>
> P.S.
>
> I hope all is well with your dad and your sister.
>
>
Thanks PB. I first have to apologize for not getting back to so many of your emails. I honestly can just sometimes be a very disorganized person as well, and my email tends to get neglected especially when my brain decides it's time for a vacation from reality! lol. I've started so many, many emails and put them in my 'drafts' folder, it is really pathetic. So, please forgive me for that....ha...Thanks also for the note about sister and Dad. Both 'carry on' like many of us, despite difficult circumstances. And ya, I am not going to bring up the past about lending my boss a computer, because it won't really look too good. I just wish some people would be a little more 'sensitive' sometimes, you know?..lol. (Don't we all?:) We will have to see about future occupations. I am not going to be too swift in jumping jobs, because this current one does have an excellent benefits package, plus pension and all that, and does pay quite well. So...it's a matter of patience....for now..lol.
Best,
Jay :)
Posted by TexasChic on July 30, 2008, at 20:31:22
In reply to Re: Didn't get the position... » TexasChic, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 28, 2008, at 19:53:30
>It's like we are back on the playground in Grade 3 again. Except the words, the 'code', is different. But, the meaning is till the same. "We don't like you so we are not gonna let you play...nah nah na nah nah..." lol.) Well, what can we do?
Its exactly like grade school! Most times I get so overwhelmed by the idiocy of it all that I just can't respond. I do that with my boss all the time. I want to say, "Sorry, you're just too incredibly stupid for me to waste my time responding to that" but instead I just say nothing.
>I still often wish and dream about living way up in Northern Canada and being a Forest Ranger or something like that. Maybe when I grow up? When will THAT happen? Hmmm. I dunno. lol.
That's so funny, I'm always saying I should become a Forest Ranger. I can remember taking those tests in school that are supposed to tell you what profession you should go into when you grow up. Mine always came out Forest Ranger. I was like, huh? What's that supposed to mean? Recently I actually looked up what they do and how much they make - and it wasn't so good.
-T
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.