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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 20:50:16
I want to change my name, move, and never be able to be located by my family of origin again.
My mother and brother are going to drive me to an early grave. I really don't want to hear from either of them ever again.
Posted by Midnightblue on July 26, 2008, at 21:47:02
In reply to I want to be relocated, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 20:50:16
Dinah,
I'm so sorry! Too bad hubby can't still get that transfer.
MidnightBlue
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 21:49:50
In reply to Re: I want to be relocated » Dinah, posted by Midnightblue on July 26, 2008, at 21:47:02
She'd track me down.
It's amazing how she tracks people down. It's kind of useful when I'm trying to find someone. Not so good if I don't want to be found.
There is no escape.
Posted by TexasChic on July 26, 2008, at 23:05:13
In reply to I want to be relocated, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 20:50:16
> I want to change my name, move, and never be able to be located by my family of origin again.
>
> My mother and brother are going to drive me to an early grave. I really don't want to hear from either of them ever again.
>
>
I'm sorry Dinah, I think I understand, but your situation sounds worse than mine. Are you at their beck and call? Do you answer the phone or door every time they call? Can you refuse to be a part of the drama? Is there any sort of mediator, father, sister, brother, aunt, etc.When I lived with my mom she used to get so mad at me for not answering the phone every time it rang. I would say," I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now". And she would say, "what if its an emergency!!!!" And I say, "well then they'll leave a message won't they?" That just absolutely infuriated her. She would answer and if it was for me come hold the phone up to my ear. I would calmly hang it up. (my friends knew she was crazy).
You've got to have your safe place away from them. Do you have one? They absolutely can not be allowed in this space, whether in person, by phone, by email, or by text.
I'm certainly not saying this as a professional, this is just how my experiences have worked out. And I have to say, since I have moved over an hour away, I've never been happier, at least in that aspect of my life . There's no way they'll spend the gas to show up on my doorstep!
I hope you can find your peaceful place away from them and other stress. Mine is my bed, no phone, no tv, lots of books and lots of big fluffy pillows, and nothing but Kitty for company. I don't know if I could handle life right now without that retreat.
-T
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 23:26:28
In reply to Re: I want to be relocated » Dinah, posted by TexasChic on July 26, 2008, at 23:05:13
It probably isn't all that bad. I just have a low tolerance for stimulation. They are very stimulating. It's just that they're always in trouble. And they occasionally look to me to help them out of a hole that they are simultaneously digging deeper and deeper even as they ask for help.
I'm trying avoidance and distraction.
Posted by 64bowtie on July 27, 2008, at 2:24:07
In reply to I want to be relocated, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 20:50:16
(((Dinah)))
Even the nastiest of criminals can be rehabbed successfully, if you're willing to work hard enough at it... That was the underlying premise of the mid 60's movie, "A Clockwork Orange"...
Problem is that some folks have created a living matrix of denial around every aspect of their lives, such that even starvation can't get their attention away from their messy dysfunctional existence long enough to effect a change...
Also, you moving and having to give up so much, leaves them with power over you... Don't play their game(s) and opt out of any events where they might be attending...
You know all this stuff so its like I'm preaching to the choir (again)...
Rod
Posted by Sigismund on July 27, 2008, at 4:13:51
In reply to I want to be relocated, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 20:50:16
The trouble with families is that by the time the nonsense is over you are as good as dead.
I'm looking forward to making social capital out of my cancer.
On a lighter note, NO has been in the news here.
There was a program on this
http://www.amazon.com/City-That-Care-Forgot-Lower/dp/B0017LEFYI
which I read comes from the name Mark Twain gave to NO
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Orleans,_Louisiana
so it's a pun. I hadn't realised until now.
Posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2008, at 11:01:13
In reply to Re: I want to be relocated, posted by Sigismund on July 27, 2008, at 4:13:51
Hence my kids all live hours away no family near us. Well my youngest does live here but is too busy for us so that's a plus she's a Drama Queen. They love to stir me all up and then not update and then they are fine. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on August 28, 2008, at 13:41:38
In reply to Re: I want to be relocated » TexasChic, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2008, at 23:26:28
Hope you're doing okay Dinah,
Just got back from a week away & Oh My Gosh, there are so many posts.
trying to skim through.
I send my love, Kath
> It probably isn't all that bad. I just have a low tolerance for stimulation. They are very stimulating. It's just that they're always in trouble. And they occasionally look to me to help them out of a hole that they are simultaneously digging deeper and deeper even as they ask for help.
>
> I'm trying avoidance and distraction.
This is the end of the thread.
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