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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on May 31, 2008, at 18:14:07
I'm probably going to San Francisco for the Babble Party next year. I found some articles about there being a suicide every 2 weeks on the bridge.
This doesn't make sense at all, but I keep thinking of jumping off it. It doesn't make sense because I'm pretty happy right now. Is this some sort of obsessive thing, like how some new mothers think about killing their baby?
So I have this fear of jumping off it, but somehow it also seems kind of romantic. I imagine walking across the bridge with Babblers and Dr. Bob and then maybe Dr. Bob will talk to me and I'll be really happy and just suddenly jump from the bridge. Then I'll die in a happy, mysterious and yet nonsensical way.
Gawd, that would be so traumatic for Babblers.
I'm pretty sure I want to live to be very old and see Dr. Bob many times.
Even though I don't want to die, I think I'll still like to walk across it. But I fear impulsively jumping to my death.
Most likely nothing will happen. In D.C. I was happy but still had thoughts of hurling myself onto the subway tracks. Obviously I didn't do that so maybe these are just obsessive thoughts.
But then again, subway tracks aren't that special. The Golden Gate Bridge on the other hand, is majestic and spectacular.
As a child I took a field trip with my class across the Golden Gate Bridge. Even then I thought of jumping. It's alluring.
This is scary because on the meds board someone says Slinky killed herself and I read some of her posts and she seemed fine. I also read about this person who jumped off the bridge and left a suicide note that said something like, No reason, I just had a toothache. So it's possible that a happy person could just impulsively jump.
Posted by obsidian on May 31, 2008, at 18:24:21
In reply to Anxious about bridge, posted by Deneb on May 31, 2008, at 18:14:07
that's it, you are not allowed on the bridge!!
best regards,
sid
ps i've known people who've done this...just freaking tragic
Posted by Racer on June 1, 2008, at 0:17:21
In reply to Anxious about bridge, posted by Deneb on May 31, 2008, at 18:14:07
I have several comments, and they have to be short -- at least by my usual long winded standards...
First of all, the bridge railings are HIGH -- no impulse, unless you have a sudden impulse to climb up a four and a half foot railing. Unless you're more than averagely athletic, someone would have time to stop you.
Secondly, yes -- I think you've hit on something when you say "obsessive." Have you talked to your pdoc about this? That sort of thing can actually be controlled by medication, sometimes by CBT, and often by a combination of the two. It's an actual, bona fide symptom, and should be treated. It's anxiety related, and anti-psychotics are supposed to be very good at controlling them.
For whatever it's worth, I get similar intrusive, obsessive thoughts from anxiety. Not necessarily hurting myself, but things like "Oh no -- what if I threw my Bluetooth device out the window as I drove along!" Mind you, no amount of logic or reason reduces the terror. Even though I know it's a symptom of anxiety, it still feels real to me.
Good luck, Deneb -- and I hope you do talk to your pdoc about this.
Posted by Deneb on June 1, 2008, at 0:19:44
In reply to Re: Anxious about bridge » Deneb, posted by obsidian on May 31, 2008, at 18:24:21
I feel better now. There is a big difference between just thinking about something and having the desire and means to do something.
Plus, someone told me it's our instinct to NOT hurl ourselves off high places and I won't spontaneously jump on impulse.
Posted by Deneb on June 1, 2008, at 0:32:14
In reply to Re: Anxious about bridge » Deneb, posted by Racer on June 1, 2008, at 0:17:21
Thanks for your post Racer.
I'm glad I don't really want to die, even though I have these obsessive thoughts.
Right now my pdoc is away on vacation, but I'll make sure to tell her about it.
I keep reading about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge. I think that's obsessive too.
And you're probably right that someone will be able to stop me. I'm pretty short and even though they say the railing is only 4 feet high, that's high enough that I have to make an effort to climb it. Plus if I were to go visit the bridge, it'd probably be with other Babblers and someone would stop me before I climbed too far, especially if I tell them about this ahead of time.
Thanks for taking the time to write this Racer. You help me a lot.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 1, 2008, at 1:30:22
In reply to Re: Anxious about bridge, posted by Deneb on June 1, 2008, at 0:32:14
Posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2008, at 12:35:07
In reply to Re: Anxious about bridge » Deneb, posted by Racer on June 1, 2008, at 0:17:21
I do things like this too like thinking bad things if my pups don't look at me that I'm dying as they didn't look at my other dog before he died for about a year. Is this anxiety too. Golden Gate Brige is too long to walk across so don't make it a goal. Well to long for most people. Phillipa think you'll be safe.
Posted by Racer on June 1, 2008, at 15:02:52
In reply to Re: Anxious about bridge » Racer, posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2008, at 12:35:07
> Golden Gate Brige is too long to walk across so don't make it a goal. Well to long for most people.
No, the Golden Gate Bridge is not too long to walk across. My mother and I walked across before I started kindergarten! I seem to remember it's only about two miles across.
Posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2008, at 15:45:38
In reply to Actually, that's not true » Phillipa, posted by Racer on June 1, 2008, at 15:02:52
Wow when I was out there it seemed very long on the way to Redwood Forrest In a Bus. So you walked wow. Long walk for someone so young did you like it? I don't like heights so don't think I'd want to walk it that is just me. Phillipa
Posted by fayeroe on June 1, 2008, at 19:05:48
In reply to Re: Actually, that's not true » Racer, posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2008, at 15:45:38
> Wow when I was out there it seemed very long on the way to Redwood Forrest In a Bus. So you walked wow. Long walk for someone so young did you like it? I don't like heights so don't think I'd want to walk it that is just me. Phillipa
I've walked it several times and didn't find it excessively long. I thorougly enjoyed being on the bridge.
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