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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 11, 2008, at 1:32:07
I had such a bad night, which was supposed to be a 'social' night. I've been choking back tears, just because I tried to do the right, the good thing.
Well, I went to my brother's place, and he had a friend and his wife, as well as the friend's friend and his wife over. First off, they live in a subdivision, and I spotted a large plume of smoke come from a house about 4 doors down. It was a LARGE amount. So, I called 911, and it turned out to be some guy cutting cement for a patio door. The fireman told me that was good and smart of me to call because it could have been some other worse things.
So, meanwhile, my brother is having an illegal fire in an 'outdoor fireplace' (the portable ones you can buy at hardware stores...which are mean't for the country and people with permits.) So, the firetrucks are leaving this other house, and go by my brother's house, and see the fire, and fireman comes to the backyard and orders them to put it out. (There is a 25,000 dollar fine if you don't) So, the fireman leaves, and my brother just ignores him, so I grab the hose, and spray the thing out. All of a sudden, I am the "bad, stupid, any name you can think of in the book..".
As I am hearing this crap, I suddenly realize these people are most likely candidates for a Jerry Springger show. My brother doesn't exactly have a "squeaky clean" past himself.Okay, so, then, the night goes on a bit more, and the "friend's friend" starts bragging about his tattos, and start's being really rascist, making all kinds of rascist remarks, saying stuff I won't mention here because it would not only be uncivil, it also makes me sick to my stomach. Let's just say he was very much a "White Supremist". So, now by this time I had only a tiny amount of alcohol, and I was not going to let this guy get away with saying this stuff without telling him how I feel. And I did. I told him he should be ashamed of himself. (Sorry, am I being uncivil to the "White Supremists"?) He starts threatening me with violence, and the rage and anger and hate that came out of him was I am sure came from the same place as all other Nazi's.
But, I refused to fight physically, number one because I don't believe in any physical violence unless it is ABSOLUTELY neccessary. Plus, in my line of work, I cannot have any type of police record.My brother "sort-of" eventually "stood up" with me, but was reluctant. And this was on his property! When it came down to it, it just seemd like I was the 'troublemaker' just because I wanted to say and do what was good and right. In the end, my own brother let some stranger threaten and call me down on his own property. His defense is "Ohhh..I didn't know what was going on...blah blah." Well, wait until I tell my Dad what happened, and my brother will get sh*t and maybe even barred from this family forever.
My brother takes takes takes.....he has taken my stereos..(2 of them!)...various household and kitchen supplies....many 100's of dollars in booze....musical instruments...and just decided to keep them!I felt so let-down tonight...like I didn't even have a brother to trust in anymore. I'll never trust him again. My parents are getting older and and near the end of their lives, and I really could use that support. This is not the first time my brother has 'walked the line'. It's actually a good part of his history. Tonight was just like the final nail, though.
I was such a happy child and kid and loved life.
Then all of these mean-spirited, "tough" people took that magic away from me. I became a social worker because I believe in equality for every single human...everyone...and all's I get is spit in the face.:/ Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 11, 2008, at 1:54:22
In reply to .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long), posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 11, 2008, at 1:32:07
Posted by llurpsienoodle on May 11, 2008, at 12:00:13
In reply to .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long), posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 11, 2008, at 1:32:07
nah, don't worry about the spelling.
More important is to worry about all the hate in the world. that is truly an abominable evening.
Please avoid these people in the future. Meet them (if absolutely necessary) at a public place, like a restaurant.
I dunno what to say, except "I'm sorry"
-Ll
Posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2008, at 12:09:32
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (lo » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 11, 2008, at 12:00:13
Jay you're such a sweetheart and was only trying to do good and stand up for what you believe. Seems there is one in the family that always seems to mess things up for the good ones. In my case my middle one was at first the trouble maker. Now that he himself is a Social Worker with the Va my youngest has taken over. Just remember that you are a sweet kind person. Love Phillipa
Posted by Poet on May 11, 2008, at 12:37:40
In reply to .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long), posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 11, 2008, at 1:32:07
Hi Jay,
What a horrid experience. I give your credit for staying as long as you did. I would have put the fire out and left when the name calling began. From what you described it is the Jerry Springer show and that is very sad.
I'm sorry your brother is being such a jerk, I think you need to avoid him for your own sanity. He has some big time issues that you don't need to get caught in.
Poet
Posted by AbbieNormal on May 11, 2008, at 15:13:19
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long) » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Poet on May 11, 2008, at 12:37:40
My theory for family and friends is this - if I feel like crap when I leave, what's the sense in returning?
Take care of yourself, and avoid the poopheads in life, kin or not.
You deserve to be treated better than this!
Hugs, Abbie
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 12, 2008, at 14:18:40
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (lo » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 11, 2008, at 12:00:13
> nah, don't worry about the spelling.
>
> More important is to worry about all the hate in the world. that is truly an abominable evening.
>
> Please avoid these people in the future. Meet them (if absolutely necessary) at a public place, like a restaurant.
>
> I dunno what to say, except "I'm sorry"
>
> -LlThanks Llurpsie....:)
Ya, it was the fact it was on my brother's property that this happened, and he could have just easily ended it by telling this guy to get off his property. So, my own brother wouldn't even do that for me. Nice, eh? Ha. Well, he is "cut off", that is for sure, from this family. I have made sure of that. You can only be betrayed so many times, eh? You've said tons......
Thanks for your post and support. :-)Take good care,
Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 12, 2008, at 14:38:29
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (lo, posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2008, at 12:09:32
Aww...geezz..thanks Phillipa...:)
You are always a kind sweetie yourself. You give unconditionally and that is very special. My brother has always been like that. He thinks he is "so hard done by", when he had a very damn good childhood (like myself, who grew up in the same home) and he ruined it all by being a constant troublemaker of a teenager. I was and am far from perfect myself, but I have as much as possible, never gone out of my way to hurt the people I love. He actually seems to have in-common a bit with what TC's brother has, and that is just an absolute complete total rejection of almost any value or moral system. Well, I think he has gone too far this time, and my Dad has even threatened to cut him out of his will. (I am the Executor of my parent's estate too...soooo...heh.) Some people......eh?...lol. Oyyy. Well thanks again Phillipa. Please take good care of yourself.
Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 12, 2008, at 14:40:40
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long) » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Poet on May 11, 2008, at 12:37:40
> Hi Jay,
>
> What a horrid experience. I give your credit for staying as long as you did. I would have put the fire out and left when the name calling began. From what you described it is the Jerry Springer show and that is very sad.
>
> I'm sorry your brother is being such a jerk, I think you need to avoid him for your own sanity. He has some big time issues that you don't need to get caught in.
>
> PoetHi Poet...
Thanks kindly for your support.
I am of a bit better spirits today, but still a bit saddened knowing I can't really ever put my faith or trust in my brother ever again. But, that is okay, because he has let me down many times before. My Dad really blasted him...told him he will be cut out of his will if he keeps this up! (I am the executor of course....hah.) I am going to demand an apology...and not really bother with him ever again. He never really cared for me anyways. His loss...big time. Please take care,Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 12, 2008, at 14:47:27
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (long), posted by AbbieNormal on May 11, 2008, at 15:13:19
> My theory for family and friends is this - if I feel like crap when I leave, what's the sense in returning?
>
> Take care of yourself, and avoid the poopheads in life, kin or not.
>
> You deserve to be treated better than this!
>
> Hugs, AbbieHi Abbie...
Thank you! Great advice....and so true....so true! I think to myself, I may not have much as far as any friends or close people in my life. But, what I do have, is very little, but very precious and rock solid! I don't need to have more people in my life just *because* I am related by blood to them, or whatever. For me, it HAS to come with feeling. A line from the song in which my handle is based on "Though we might have precious little, it's still precious.". Indeed!
Thanks, hugs back, and take good care,
Jay :)
Posted by rskontos on May 12, 2008, at 17:16:35
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (lo » llurpsienoodle, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 12, 2008, at 14:18:40
Jay
I would have been tempted to leave and call the Fire department on your brother for an illegal fire....but then again I am not nice sometimes. So I am with everyone else. You showed the greatest maturity and stood up for yourself and did it admirably. Too bad you have a brother that isn't as good as yourself. I too agree with the sentiment to avoid him in the future as much as possible.
This is why I have a social outing phobia.
I would have either blown up in a bad way or flown the coop.
You did the right thing. Good for you.
rsk
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 13, 2008, at 19:24:15
In reply to Re: .Horrible,Terrible Night.pls (help) :((((( (lo » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by rskontos on May 12, 2008, at 17:16:35
Thanks so kindly RSK. I think your idea is great, too, and I should have done that in the first place...lol! I'll await for the apology from my brother, but I am not holding my breath. I am trying to build my nice little good, happy and proper life around myself and I don't need to be dragged down by him. You are SO right! This is the reason I have social phobia to begin with! I was REALLY shaken and hurt when I came home that night this happened.
My own brother wouldn't even stand up for me...how could I trust him to say, stand up for one of our elderly parents, or something like that?Thanks again for your support..:-)
Sincerely,
Jay
This is the end of the thread.
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