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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kath on January 3, 2008, at 18:32:50
My son told me today that last nite he had a 'slip' with cocaine. He's seeing his mental health worker tomorrow; sleeping at our house tonite, to be less at risk (he used alone in his room at the house where he lives).
I posted about it on the substance use board, but since folks here have been such a support for me in the past, I'm posting it here in a general way.Sigismund's Geography quiz & the housecleaning dialogue is helpful in diverting my thoughts.
It's hard being sick with whatever virus I have & having this happen on top of it.
Sometimes I wonder why people have to have such stress in life.
Kath
(Dear me - I sure feel awfully whiney)
Posted by Sigismund on January 3, 2008, at 18:42:57
In reply to An unwelcome New Year's stress, posted by Kath on January 3, 2008, at 18:32:50
Well Kath, drug use is a relapsing condition and it sounds as if he's at least trying.
I can't remember which drugs you said he was on but antipsychotic drugs can be 'subjectively unpleasant'(as they say) and I wonder if a person on such drugs might (at this time of the year especially) want to feel good for a bit.
Posted by lovelorn on January 3, 2008, at 19:08:18
In reply to An unwelcome New Year's stress, posted by Kath on January 3, 2008, at 18:32:50
I know there exists support groups for those that have family members that are addicted to alcohol or drugs. Have you ever done a search for a group near you?
It might help to talk to others that are going through the same thing as you.
I hope things turn around for the better soon.
Posted by Phillipa on January 3, 2008, at 21:45:28
In reply to An unwelcome New Year's stress, posted by Kath on January 3, 2008, at 18:32:50
Kath yes it is just saw this and drink a lot of fluids and rest as called doc again today and he said very important. I'll try to get to substance but give Jay a hug from me and say a friend loves him. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
In reply to Re: An unwelcome New Year's stress » Kath, posted by Phillipa on January 3, 2008, at 21:45:28
Sigis - good points.
Lovelorn - I've been to an NarAnon meeting, but it's a bit far & I didn't find that particular one very good. Might try an AlAnon one, although there's something else to deal with now.
Phillipa - thx will convey that to Jay & try to drink fluids & rest but NOW.....last night my son was over to sleep here & was REALLY distracted & finally said he wanted to talk to me...said he has been feeling so awful for a couple of months about what a mess he's made of his life & what a bad son he is etc.
Then it came out that he's been hearing the voices telling him that if he doesn't kill himself, they'll kill him & his family...that they were even telling him quietly while he was in our house. For him it is REAL. I told him that I don't hear them...that I DO believe he hears them. I said, bottom line, my stand is that I don't want to lose him & my choice is to take the chance on 'going out together' if it comes to that! I checked with eye contact if he believed me & he did. It was so heart-wrenching 'cuz he said, "well, Mom this might be our last night. I love you." He was sleeping in the rec room downstairs & accepted my offer of he setting up my camping bed on the floor beside the sofa.
Needless to say I didn't get much sleep as I guess I'm in shock.
I think that over the holidays he's had alot happening that could let the psychosis return:Lack of sleep
Not taking his prescription meds (seroquel & risperidone) every single day
Using ecstasy & ketamine more frequently or more of it & drinking more
Not eating right
Not having the focus of job - even though it is new, I think it was a positive focus for him.
So we have an appointment with his mental health worker at Noon. Son is still sleeping now. Worker said she's going to talk with him about going to hospital today & see what they say.
I don't know if he'll be willing to miss work...on the hand, I don't know if he'd be able to concentrate on work. (Before I knew about the voices) he was having trouble concentrating on playing Scrabble last night. But maybe cooking - doing something physical would be different.
SO - that's my situation to help with.
I called a crisis line this morning when the shock wore off & the tears & feelings came up. Crying helped a bit. They asked me to call back later & let them know what happened. That felt nice.
love to all, Kath
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 10:26:40
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
I'm so sorry, Kath. I heard from a relative last night in a similar situation. Her adult child also often goes off the antipsychotics and ends up back in the hospital eventually. But it is so stressful for her, as I know it's stressful for you.
I wish I knew what to tell you. I understand that he's your son, and that is a very strong pull. But please keep safe yourself.
Posted by Poet on January 4, 2008, at 13:21:11
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
Hi Kath,
I hope your son will go into the hospital if his mental health worker recommends it. Count on me to offer any moral support I can.
Poet
Posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2008, at 13:28:17
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
Oh, cripes. Not taking his medications and doing ecstasy and not sleeping, all add up to the brain not working properly. Thank goodness he talked with you, Kath, and that you've had your meeting with his mental health worker.
Time to take it back to one day at a time, a lesson for me too. I watch what my step daughter is going through and I think, "what is this teaching me about right now?" and there is much for me to learn. So I try to listen, and to not speak. Try to watch, and not tell. Try to let her learn her own lessons from the day.
Let us know how you are doing, Kath.
CS
Posted by Sigismund on January 4, 2008, at 16:03:43
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
>I said, bottom line, my stand is that I don't want to lose him & my choice is to take the chance on 'going out together' if it comes to that! I checked with eye contact if he believed me & he did. It was so heart-wrenching 'cuz he said, "well, Mom this might be our last night. I love you." He was sleeping in the rec room downstairs & accepted my offer of he setting up my camping bed on the floor beside the sofa.
Kath, I'm very impressed.
You have reason to feel proud of yourself for that.
Posted by lovelorn on January 4, 2008, at 17:05:04
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
That's too bad about the support group not working out, Kath.
It is good he is able to talk to you so honestly about what is going on with himself.
I hope the appointment with the mental health worker leads to more and better help, and perhaps a bit less stress and worry for you.
Posted by Phillipa on January 4, 2008, at 19:02:53
In reply to Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.., posted by Kath on January 4, 2008, at 10:15:54
Oh sweet Kath what happened at the meeting. I feel maybe the hospital is best for a short while to stabalize him on his meds and no recreational meds or substances. My heart goes out to you. With all my love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 5, 2008, at 19:36:33
In reply to Re: Thx all. Found out he's hearing the voices again.. » Kath, posted by Phillipa on January 4, 2008, at 19:02:53
Thank you. Your support means so much to me.
He decided to sleep all during Friday & go to his shift at work at 5 pm. When I checked with his mental health worker, she said that sleep was extremely NB for people having psychosis...she made sure I had support in place for over the weekend & said that I know him the best & I'll know if I am worried about his safety. I do feel quite certain that if he needs help to keep himself safe, he'll tell me (he did last Dec in BC).
Anyhow, he went to work; wasn't feeling well (more physically). Worked an hour & his boss asked him if he wasn't feeling well. He really likes his boss & says he's really nice. Anyhow, boss said they weren't busy, so why he could go home if he wanted. So I went & got him; he came home, slept (asked me if my 'bed' had been comfortable enough for me to sleep down there again & so I did). Also, before going to bed I asked "Is all quiet?" & he smiled & said yes.Today he seemed to be feeling way better; said things were "quiet" (meaning voices) to a large extent. Went to work at 5, but just called at 8:15 or so & said could I come & pick him up at 9 - that he wasn't feeling well. I'm hoping he means physically, rather than mentally.
I'm feeling way more calm about it.
Thanks for being there for me.
luv, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on January 5, 2008, at 19:40:19
In reply to You are all SO sweet + kind....., posted by Kath on January 5, 2008, at 19:36:33
Kath me too you'll let me know? Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 5, 2008, at 20:51:27
In reply to You are all SO sweet + kind....., posted by Kath on January 5, 2008, at 19:36:33
Hi Phillipa,
I'm back. He said he wasn't feeling well (physically) & his boss said he could leave at 9. When I asked, he said that he was doing so-so mentally. He wants me to sleep down there again. I asked if it's because it's scarey & he said yes. I said, "Well, the good thing is that 2 days have gone by now!" (meaning that nobody has been harmed) & he said, "Yeah, I guess" - not sounding tremendously convinced.
It must be REALLY scarey for him to ask for me to be there with him!
Well, that's it for me. How are you feeling? Are you better yet? I'm not - not yet. Both son & hubby also have some 'bug' or virus or whatever. It seems a lot of people are ill right now.
luv, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on January 6, 2008, at 18:38:54
In reply to Re: You are all SO sweet + kind..... » Kath, posted by Kath on January 5, 2008, at 20:51:27
Kath sorry about the bug still tire easily but respiratory stuff gone. It's all over this area. Found out my Daughter had it via e-mail. Good that Jay is staying safe and all of you are too. When does he see someone again? Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 6, 2008, at 20:18:26
In reply to Re: You are all SO sweet + kind..... » Kath, posted by Phillipa on January 6, 2008, at 18:38:54
He sees his worker and the p-doc that's also with his HOPE team tomorrow at 2 & 3.
Today he's still hearing stuff; says it's not quite as bad, but still wants me to sleep in the rec room!
I got out my literature today that they gave me from HOPE (Helping Overcome Psychosis Early) & said that I was sure he knew this anyway, but I wanted to point it out anyway....then showed him the part where it says that use of weed, speed, ecstasy & street drugs can cause a relapse or make symptoms worse. I just wanted to "call a spade a spade".
I said that other things can have an impact also, like diet, sleep, exercise, stress, but it's a given that drugs can cause problems.When the voices have been stopped for a bit, (& he's gotten over it before, so I'm trusting that he'll get over it this time also) I'll be being VERY straightforward as to discussing it with him.
I'm so yearning for some sunny days to brighten things up! On the other hand, it's above freezing & apparently is going to remain so into this week, so snow is melting.
Kath
Posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 21:19:44
In reply to Re: You are all SO sweet + kind..... » Phillipa, posted by Kath on January 6, 2008, at 20:18:26
today. He's still hearing the voices fairly badly, but has agreed to TELL one of us if he needs to go to hospital to be safe.
He is really seeming to realize that the drugs are a MAJOR contributor to his psychosis.
He was hearing quiet whispery voices & when he did the cocaine, they got loud, mean, awful, ETC...so he has HAD to look at this. Was talking with his mental health worker about it.
We established what i could do to best help him...ask him "is all quiet?" & if it isn't, ask him to tell me what he's hearing.
In pdoc's appt, he actually said that he's going to stop doing drugs....only use alcohol.
She was very supportive in helping him set a guideline so he can see how he's doing. She sees him again in 2 weeks....gave him a 2 week goal to meet. (one he really should be able to meet).I'm feeling calmer & more hopeful (but not all excited - just calmly hopeful.)
Will let y'all know how it goes.
luv, Kath
Posted by ClearSkies on January 8, 2008, at 12:04:08
In reply to Sat in on his appt with worker and then pdoc...., posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 21:19:44
Kath, I'm glad that you're more calm and hopeful! that's really good news :-)
It sounds like your son has a plan for moderation of his habits. It never worked for me, but for some people, they are able to keep their substance use under control. For me, one inevitably led to another, and so I had to finally swear off all the bad stuff entirely before I could really see some improvement in my overall recovery. (But that's my story.)
I hope that he continues to feel better and that his world gets quiet. In the meantime, YOU take care of YOU!
CS
Posted by Kath on January 8, 2008, at 20:40:02
In reply to Re: Sat in on his appt with worker and then pdoc.. » Kath, posted by ClearSkies on January 8, 2008, at 12:04:08
Thanks CS. Yeah - today I've been surprising myself at my calmness, but then, he's staying with us right now & sleeping most of the time!!
But, last night, he got together with GF & some friends over at his place. Came back here to sleep & for the first night, didn't need me down there - Hah! maybe because they'd all been drinking & he was certainly feeling no pain! Interestingly enough, he wasn't hearing anything then & it's been 'quiet' since. Tonight at 5 he had some 'energy work' done by a lady who our family sometimes goes to. She does what's called 'educational kinesiology', I think. It really works amazingly & last Feb it helped calm the voices down.
I suspect that if he's just drinking, he's going to be drinking a LOT. He just doesn't seem to be able to handle being 'present' - I guess it must be pretty emotionally painful.
I agree with you as to being able to control some but not all substances! We'll see, I guess. I keep remembering what the doctor in BC said to me on the phone (when my son was there in hosp - half a country away). He said that at that age (23) some of these kids need to 'hit their head against a brick wall a few times before they really realize what they need to do'.
I think the thing that helps me to be calm is hearing what a very terrible effect the cocaine had on him. And the irony that he did it to feel better & then it flipped the voices on LOUD & MEAN! I suspect that he won't do it again. Who knows, but why WOULD someone, after experiencing that?? Especially when the aftermath goes on for days & is so awful.
Anyway, I agree with you & congratulations for improving your life.
You deserve to have a great life!
luv, Kath
PS still have this silly virus!
Posted by Justherself54 on January 10, 2008, at 8:29:30
In reply to Re: Sat in on his appt with worker and then pdoc.. » ClearSkies, posted by Kath on January 8, 2008, at 20:40:02
We never stop being mothers..and you sound like a wonderful mom..you had mentioned going to a meeting but the distance was a problem..you may already be aware of this but there are tons of al-anon and narc-anon meetings on the web..might be something worth exploring and you'd be able to find the right group you feel comfortable with..just google al-anon online...it may help you to be online with people who are walking in your shoes and help prevent caregiver burnout..
Best wishes to you and your boy..
Posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 13:19:11
In reply to Re: Sat in on his appt with worker and then pdoc.., posted by Justherself54 on January 10, 2008, at 8:29:30
Thanks! What an excellent idea. Funny because some time during this past 'year from hell' I did go to an online Nar-Anon meeting!!! They were encouraging me to go to a real life one, but it WAS supportive. Thanks for the reminder....I always find it so interesting that I sometimes need a reminder about certain things.
Thanks for your nice comments. I try to be a good mom. Interestingly enough, I had some 'energy work' (alternative type stuff) on Thursday, & I'm feeling WAY more detached....and had a good test of where I'm at as he phoned today from a friend's where he stayed last night & during the conversation, mentioned that he'd done a bit of K (ketamine) last night. JEEZ....give him a couple of days without voices & he starts again!!! ANYway, when I said I was really upset to hear that, he said that he was trying to keep away from worse things. Afterwards I realized that he & his pdoc set his 2-week goal as: use NO cocaine & take your meds every day.
Anyway, I'm feeling so much better from how I was feeling.
Thanks for your support & your suggestion.
luv, Kath
PS - he (with friends) drank alot on Monday, Wed, Thur & last nite **sigh** Oh well, I called 310-COPE this morning (a help-line for Toronto are) and the man said that a graph done for folks kicking drugs showed up as a roller coaster - ups & downs - not a straight path.
K
This is the end of the thread.
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