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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 0:35:39
When my best friend, whom I love, was in college when her idiot boyfriend wanted to join military. In order for her to come with, they had to get married, and they did (before she was ready to be married).
They had to move off to the other side of the world on some island. And now they're going to stay there for four more years (a total of 8).
8 years, on some island, away from family, all her friends. Just because he idiot boyfriend wanted to "prove himself" in the military.
How selfish is that, to take away the best years of someone's life because you want to go play Rambo?
Why is life so unfair like this? This girl is not your ordinary girl. She is beautiful, very smart, and overall an extremely good person. In a world full of bad people, I can honestly say, without personal bias, she is one of the good ones. Yet she is being taken advantage of. She could have finished college by now. Instead she just sits there, on a military base, in the run down military housing they give her, missing out on the best years of her life.
It's one thing for a bad person to take advantage of another bad person, but a bad person harming a good person is more than I can handle.
ALso. While all this is going on. Me, someone is extremely unselfish (in regards to love and the opposite gender), extremely nice, mature, intelligent, and frankly very good looking, sits alone.
Life in general just confuses the heck out of me. It's not fair. Not for her or me. Especially her.
Posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2007, at 11:13:37
In reply to Why is life so unfair sometimes?, posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 0:35:39
Sounds like you may have a crush on her but she made a choice and that was to go with him. Love Phillipa
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 12, 2007, at 11:55:19
In reply to Re: Why is life so unfair sometimes? » Michael83, posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2007, at 11:13:37
And there's nothing we can do about it except accept it. I'm trying hard at that last part.
Posted by Kath on March 12, 2007, at 18:53:00
In reply to Life is categorically unfair, posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 12, 2007, at 11:55:19
I am trying hard at the accepting part too.
Sometimes I sort of 'cry out' - ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for your pain Michael. Are you in contact with her currently? It sounds like you might be. If so, I think that would make it VERY hard for you to sort of accept & 'move on'. I can understand if you don't WANT to move on. I didn't when my ex was breaking up with me. I was grasping on - holding on to the relationship even though it was over. It's very hard to let go.
Have you ever thought of doing any therapy about this? It's causing you so much pain, I just wondered.
Sorry you're in pain. Kath
Posted by karen_kay on March 12, 2007, at 19:36:23
In reply to Why is life so unfair sometimes?, posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 0:35:39
life's hard sometimes. and soemtimes we make it harder than it really has to be. (like i'm so kind of expert here! ha!) but, the way i see it, if it's meant to be it'll happen, right? and you have a choice, right? i mean, if you think she's the 'one' (if you believe in that sort of thing) then it's up to you to find out if it'd work, right? (pretty scary stuff, huh? that's how i see things though). or, i guess you could spend the rest of your life wondering about it. (geez, that sounds like some tv sitcom).
now, you could sit around waiting for it to happen, or you could make it happen. depends on your personality type, i guess. what do you think she'll look like old? how big's her old man? think you can take him?
now, if you don't believe in the 'one' true love line, then you don't have anythign to worry about at all dear. there's plenty of them fish in the sea.
from where i see it, those are pretty much your options, right? good luck!
Posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 21:52:50
In reply to Re: Life is categorically unfair, posted by Kath on March 12, 2007, at 18:53:00
Hi Kath, thanks for the response.
"Sometimes I sort of 'cry out' - ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!"
That's how I felt when I wrote that post. I was just thinking, "Come on already! Does life really have to be like this?"
"Sorry for your pain Michael. Are you in contact with her currently? It sounds like you might be. If so, I think that would make it VERY hard for you to sort of accept & 'move on'. I can understand if you don't WANT to move on. I didn't when my ex was breaking up with me. I was grasping on - holding on to the relationship even though it was over. It's very hard to let go."
She's more of my friend. I cannot say I'm out to persue her as a love interest, she's just my best friend and we talk a lot (over the internet because she's so far away). We always have gotten along well. We have a great friendship.
"Have you ever thought of doing any therapy about this? It's causing you so much pain, I just wondered."
No. I have bigger issues (my fear of death). This is small fries compared. I was just looking for a place to vent last night. It bothers me and I think about this often, but not too often. I'd say it's more causing me frustration than anything.
I'm someone strives for justice in everything and I feel like she deserves better. Good people are often victimized. I just need to wait it out, and maybe she'll come around, or he'll become a better person, and everything will be better. =)
Thanks.
Posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 22:00:12
In reply to maybe sometimes it's just plain hard.. » Michael83, posted by karen_kay on March 12, 2007, at 19:36:23
Hi karen_kay. I don't think I'm looking to pursue her as a love interesting. We're just very close friends. But if she made the offer, I would never say "no." She's someone you could never pass up.
"now, if you don't believe in the 'one' true love line, then you don't have anythign to worry about at all dear. there's plenty of them fish in the sea."
My concern is that I love her as a friend and I want her to have everything she deserves. I feel like she married below her. She just deserves better and I feel bad for her.
Posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 22:05:47
In reply to Re: Why is life so unfair sometimes? » Michael83, posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2007, at 11:13:37
Hi Phillipa. I love her as a friend very much, more than any other person, and do have a non-serious crush on her. But I just want her to be with someone who is better than what she's got. It doesn't have to be me.
We have talk to each other, she will complain about certain things about him, and we'll both be in agreement over something he did to the effect of "I would never do that, that's terrible." "I know you wouldn't, it is terrible."
Well, I feel like I'm right here, I don't do those things.
Oh well, nothing I can do. I'm not going to bother bringing it up with her. I'll just keep myself available as a friend so maybe she'll see things more clearly. She just doesn't know how good of a person she is and how much she deserves.
Posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2007, at 22:08:16
In reply to Re: Why is life so unfair sometimes? » Phillipa, posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 22:05:47
Michael that's probably best and you never know what the future hold for you or her maybe someday you will end up together? Love Phillipa
Posted by Michael83 on March 12, 2007, at 23:19:34
In reply to Re: Why is life so unfair sometimes? » Michael83, posted by Phillipa on March 12, 2007, at 22:08:16
I can live without her and I together as a couple, as long as we're friends like we are now. But if we were together, that would be wonderful. :)))))
I don't know why, but that post of yours was worded just nicely, made me feel really good and optimistic. I think I might sleep well tonight. Thanks. :D
This is the end of the thread.
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