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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 0:31:38
I've been pondering this question lately, and I think that sometimes I love people for what they do for me, rather than who they are....and I'm not sure that is love.
but then I think that only goes so far, that is loving someone for what they do for you, and very often I think that loving someone is about my admiration for them, and my recognition of what is so very precious within them
and then there's the kind of love despite all the pain involved in some relationships..like a "I can't be near you, but I wish the best for you" type of love
and there is a kind of love I have when I realize how very nice it is just to be around some people
so love is a complicated thing isn't it?
there is...
Respect
Admiration
Gratitudeany other words for it??
Posted by Jo U.K on March 5, 2007, at 3:21:11
In reply to what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 0:31:38
Respect, Admiration, Gratitude, yeah I agree SG, all good words.
The people I love the most are the ones I want so badly to be healthy happy and safe. It goes on a scale, kids, husband, mum,brother,step-dad, close friends etc..People you love don't always make you happy.
I love my HB cos he's strong (mentally and physically), funny, hard working, brave, generous. Under the tough exterior he's caring too. Blimey, I dont always realise he is all those things :-)
Posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2007, at 12:01:34
In reply to Re: what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by Jo U.K on March 5, 2007, at 3:21:11
People who care what happens to me. Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on March 5, 2007, at 14:15:16
In reply to Re: what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2007, at 12:01:34
Respect and admiration have elements of fear involved?.....or perhaps it is admiration that has elements of envy?
Another such emotion to mention here is awe. It has elements of fear.Respect in particular seems to have something of a hard exterior.
The thing that distinguishes gratitude is its openness. Maybe gratitude wants nothing.
It's a very easy state to be in once you get there.Envy up one end, gratitude up the other, rather like heaven and hell.
Posted by karen_kay on March 5, 2007, at 20:37:23
In reply to what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 0:31:38
what is love anyway?
well, to me it's how someone makes you feel. like that feeling you get in your belly, when you know something's just right. and i get that feeling with my husband. and jsut typing htis, i get that feeling. and he doesn't always give me that feeling. like when i just yell out of anger 'i hate my life' (and typing that gives me quite a different feeling in my belly. a sickening feeling knowing that i would ever utter those words.). and he makes me feel even more beautiful than i already do (huh? is that even possible?). not just by telling me at least a billion times a day. not jsut by the way he looks into my eyes, or touches my hand, or opens my door. but also by the way he gets excited about me. excited about buying me things. and is happy to die before i do, knowing that i couldn't ever stand to be alone. even though he knows that his death would be one of tragedy, dying of the liver cancer or broken heart, a silly old fool who died because his true love passed on before he did.
and i respect mr kk. i respect him as a man. for providing for his wife and family. for workign so hard at such a crappy job. i respect him for putting up with such a nag. i respect him thinking of me and his son before himself. and including us on all decisions. i respect him for not resenting me for 'taking over' his check. and for not feeling like a work horse.
i respect his opinions and i know he respects mine. i trust that he's honest to me (ok, once i caught him in a scheme about a strip club involving his father, but he's always been misunderstood anyway!) and he trusts that i'm honest with him.
we have the same sense fo humor (odd as they may be). we can finish each other's sentences. when i say 'that one guy, from that one show, that stared that one girl, with that brother that went to jail' he knows exactly who i'm talking about. just today, we sang that song 'i see paris, i see france.....' at the same time, out of nowhere!
from where i stand, i guess that's about as close as it gets. no reason to mess with that.
oh, and i forgot. he's barely legal (delicious!), tall, handsome, intelligent and an aquarius (i'm a cancer by the way, duh! i'm one moody woman! and it's been a full moon out!)
one more thing. he talks about me more than i do! how can i beat that?
Posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 21:16:24
In reply to Re: what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by Declan on March 5, 2007, at 14:15:16
> Respect and admiration have elements of fear involved?.....or perhaps it is admiration that has elements of envy?
> Another such emotion to mention here is awe. It has elements of fear.
>
> Respect in particular seems to have something of a hard exterior.
>
> The thing that distinguishes gratitude is its openness. Maybe gratitude wants nothing.
> It's a very easy state to be in once you get there.
>
> Envy up one end, gratitude up the other, rather like heaven and hell.mmmm...now you've got me thinking, darn that envy!
maybe I'll stick with gratitude
Posted by Declan on March 5, 2007, at 22:08:18
In reply to Re: what does it mean to love someone anyway??? » Declan, posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 21:16:24
I got the idea of them being opposites from "Envy and Gratitude" by Melanie Klein.
I can't remember a thing from the book apart from the depressive position.
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2007, at 13:43:27
In reply to what does it mean to love someone anyway???, posted by sleepygirl on March 5, 2007, at 0:31:38
We don't have enough words for "love" I think. I love pasta and I love my husband can't possibly mean the same thing. And yet, I clearly do love both.
I think when I say "love" (and mean it) what I'm saying is that I care about the other person's welfare enough to be willing to sacrifice a degree of my own. How much of my own probably depends on how much love.
I think of my beloved little dog. When I saw her I felt a little bubble, that sort of felt like a giggle, rise from my tummy and try to escape the top of my head. I'd have done anything for her.
And my son. I see him and I'm so impressed and awed that I played a part in his creation and development. I think how lucky I am that God chose him to send to me. And I know that my major purpose in life is to help in fulfill his potential. But I also recognize that even if he weren't so utterly wonderful, I'd still love him and want to do everything I could for him, because he is my son.
And my husband. I respect him so much, and enjoy his humor and cleverness. But it's more than that. We made a commitment to each other and our families to love each other, and sometimes love with him is more a *doing* than a *feeling*. Which is just as well, because unlike my little dog, my feelings for him aren't *always* a bubble of joy. Often, maybe, but not always. :)
There just aren't enough words for love.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 7, 2007, at 12:43:51
In reply to Re: what does it mean to love someone anyway??? » sleepygirl, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2007, at 13:43:27
This is the end of the thread.
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