![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
yes, i was gone. i know, i know. you like to see me go, but you love to see me walk away.
well, i must say, for the first time in the last hundred years, i had SERIOUS self-esteem issues. never in a zillion years would i thought it possible.
now, i started my new meds. and mr kk and i went through some really hard times (but came out perfect!!!!). the boy was teething (and gave me my first momma kiss!).
and i felt horrible. and i felt so ugly inside. and worthless. and that all i did was hurt everyone. and that everything i touched turned to poopie (you're welcome mister bob). and everything i heard was taken the wrong way. and everythign i said was taken the wrong way. and spoken the wrong way. and sounded snide. and sarcastic. and mean. and hateful. and that's all i heard.
and i cried. (and yes, this is all about me. notice the 'i's'?) and i screamed. and everyone around me did too. and i didn't blame them. but i screamed louder. or i cried louder. or a combination of both.
and the meds made me not able to communicate properly. and that, to me, is my one talent. my only talent. if that. to say 'phone' when one means 'lamp' does not make for a funny or clever story. there's nothing sarcastic about drooling and saying 'ummmm, your mom' 15 minutes after a long silence. and there's especially nothing strong about crying when explaining that 'i'm having one of those days when i just cry at snide comments so don't snap at me, ok? and i know it sucks because on those day s i snap too.' to be answered 'aren't those days everyday?' this from my sister who cries when i ask ehr to remember to let the dishwater out. so, she tries to make a joke, makes me cry, then she cries, that makes me feel even worse and i cry.
this week sucked.
but, i have never been cuter either :) i've worn pigtails all week long (hey dinah, are we twins tonight?). i've started doing my eye makeup differently and discovered the joy of filling in brows (boy, do they bring out my brown eyes.). i'm keeping my hair long, instead fo chopping it as i normally do.
my mother laughed at my style of clothing and i replied 'laugh when i'm sending you the zillion dollar checks when i'm a fashion designer.' i have a feeling she'll still laugh. she's just not hip man.
mr kk and i talked and fought and talked. i feel like our relationship is the best it's ever been. EVER! even when i was crazy! i think sometimes i forget (and i'm so very stupid to) how very much this man loves me. and i think he forgets how very much pressure that puts on me. i always use to wonder if people love me, or an idea of 'me'. i wondered that of him as well. i don't question that any longer. (but, it could be how very gorgeous i am too :) that's very understandable though.
ok, ok, enough of my drivel. i wrote a poem today (ha ha mister bob. just where would you redirect this one? hmmmmm, relationship? writing? your own personal files? yes, i think that's it) to stick in mr kk's lunch (yes, i'm a decent wife. i write him notes for lunch almost everyday). here goes....
roses are red
violets are blue
i love kk
and so do youi think it's brilliant. i'm certain he does too.
so, what did everyone else do this weekend? huh? other than completely forget about me? (enough of the guilt trip, huh?) and yes, i did feel abandonded on top of everything else
(((kk))))
oh, except a select few. not to mention names or anything
gabbi
cs
auntie mel
muff (is your name civil or what?)
mister bob (you know what you did cowboy :)
(((chatters))))
seeing duckie in chat!!!!!
kid for welcoming me back too (but nothing about me being gone? i'm hurt, accused, put down, old, blind, deaf and dumb and it's all your fault!)but, thank you guys so much for listening (reading, or not reading, doesn't matter), even through your own stuff. and you mister bob, those scrambled eggs were fantastic. they provided great leverage.
and everyone who posted on admin. fayeroe, you know you're my first bride choice (sorry alex :(
and i miss you ad. good lord woman, get in touch with me for crying out loud! at least pick up the phone and hang up on me or something!!!!and bobby, thank you for being bobby. i just like you. and i missed declan a whole lot. i missed a bunch of you guys. can you tell i'm lonely? :(
not trying to make everyone else feel accused or put down and thanks everyone for the support, it's jsut been really rough since starting my new meds. i cry over spilt milk even :(there, i think i said all i needed to say! but, i reserve the right to add more at any time.
Posted by Phillipa on January 29, 2007, at 21:22:00
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
I think I'm confused no I know I'm confused. Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on January 29, 2007, at 21:43:43
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
Welcome back, o' muse of Babble.
Wow, this guilt deflector works really good!
ClearSkies
Posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 22:18:46
In reply to Re: i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger* » karen_kay, posted by Phillipa on January 29, 2007, at 21:22:00
i too am confused. you're in very good company. i feel for you, i think i love you. prince told me that (and that's one man i wouldn't mind being taller than. i've also heard that cat can ball!)
phillipa, kk just talks to hears herself talk darling. haven't you learned that by now? your naiveity (is that spelled right? it sure doesn't look right, ok, let me try it again) your child-like wonder adn questioning is refreshing. if you need anything dear, i'd be happy to do what i can (which is very little other than confuse you)
take care phillipa and i hope you're doing well.
and to sum it all up, i was having some self esteem issues but all is good in the world now. but, kk is spiteful and wants everyone to know thaanks for nothin! :)
take care phillipa!
Posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 22:29:38
In reply to Re: i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger* » karen_kay, posted by ClearSkies on January 29, 2007, at 21:43:43
ok, not really. i wanted to say you kick rass without the 'r', but you know what would happen and 3 weeks of poor self esteem would be very bad.
i would have 3 weeks to think about that whole muse title though and that makes kk very happy!
glad that guilt deflector works. does the rass kickin deflector work too? oh yeah, my family was having fantasies of piling in a truck, sleeping in the bed on the beach and jumping the fence to go watch the colts at the s-bowl. that'd be pretty cool, wouldn't it? and my aunt's waaaay older than i. see where i get it?
go colts!~ i find myself honking ALL THE TIME even when no colts signs are around. they better do it. the song stinks (i wish we had the colts 45 or something :)
thanks for making me smile. i'm in toga ready to be fed grapes and fanned. hurry up darn it, it's rather chilly in indiana and these hardwood floors are freezing. we (gasp! i almost had us. let me be a fool and it's supposed to be us! d'oh) muses must not be kept waiting!
Posted by zenhussy on January 30, 2007, at 0:16:46
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
...tossed aside like yesterday's news. boo hoo kk.....being engaged and all meant nothing? nothing? our years of lost communication weren't enough to gain special place such to merit mention? and where is the entire thread to your nemesis (which means you love her most of all!!) AllDone? sooooo disappointed and heartbroken lovey...you understand dontcha?
pack your bags you're going on a guilt trip!!
but you'll enjoy the ride you cheeky deviless mama ;)
Posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 6:55:44
In reply to like a used tissue all crumpled up and tossed..... » karen_kay, posted by zenhussy on January 30, 2007, at 0:16:46
this anit no popularity contest and you no it. you know how fond of you i am. can you help me stop crying please? i feel very out of sorts and i jsut don't know how to say it.
i'm hurting real bad zen. there, i guess i did say it.
you're really something. and not just gorgeous and perfect either. i reaLly mean something! when i'm feeling better, i'll really tell you something, like how much you mean to me too hussy. now get out there and walk the streets. kk needs some new shoes. (i know, how can i do it? break down in one sentence and talk about street walking in another? because my favorite hussy just cheers me up)
and watch out, i can hear ad scratching her head as she enters this conversation too..
thanks hussy... big kisses to you/
Posted by alesta on January 30, 2007, at 8:16:55
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
d?
KK as someone who's weathered several psychotic psychodramas here myself...like i said i am totally unaware of what has transpired here with you, but feel it is my duty to comfort any who have endured trauma via this forum...
So I just want to say here's a big hug....and that you will make it through this. It'll be all right, ok? Breathe man, breathe...twill be fine ahite?
Take care,:-)
Amy
Posted by philyra on January 30, 2007, at 8:49:11
In reply to and my hussy..., posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 6:55:44
kk, you need shoes just like kelly!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXaBJ96X8Y4
hang in there. we've never 'met,' but i love your posts.
xo,
philyra
Posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 9:51:37
In reply to Re: and my hussy... » karen_kay, posted by philyra on January 30, 2007, at 8:49:11
i'm deeply in love with you. you must tell me how to pronounce your name. i can't ever find anything on your tube, so i don't ever bother trying.
so, spell your name phonetically for me. that way i can make up a rhyme and not look like a dumb spit (ah ha, there are ways around blocks!!!)
i likie you already. i'm fascinated. i'm intrigued. i feel a proposal coming on. and i feel a new obsession being born (i'm talking about you being fascinated with me of course. if you read my posts, you must have expected this darling.)
thank you for the ugly woman (???) with the ugly and fantastic shoes. shoes. shoes. shoes.
thanks again. even mr kk watched it.
Posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 10:06:28
In reply to jeez....i am so oblivious....what the hell happene » karen_kay, posted by alesta on January 30, 2007, at 8:16:55
please don't feel obligated to answer my de4sperate need for attention dear. i need it one second, then the next, i'm off to hang shelves in my bedroom. it was just one of those moments. and a moment it was.
i haven't the faintest clue what's going on. i'm feelign down because my meds are sedating me. so, my responsibility is getting my sister's kid off to school. i can't wake up to the alarm. so, i wake up screaming 'hustle, hustle, you have 5 minutes to get ready.' and that ends with me crying for not holding up my esponsibilities.
i feel bad for not finishing school (stupid, stupid, stupid. 1 blasted semester to go. i swear, i can't finish anything. i'm surprised my son came early, or i fear he may still be in my belly until i'm forty.)
then, the next minute, i'm so happy. my duckie likes to bite me with his one toofers. and i love it when he does. and i love his giggles. and he takes big boy baths. and mr kk and i are getting along so great. we're 'starting over' with trust, with everything.
it's the meds. it's the hormones. it's the brain. i don't know what it is but i'm all over the place.
thank you for answering. thank you for caring.
and, more importantly, how are you doing dear? i believe you were in a rough spot last i read. check out that shoe thing that philyra sent. it's got a guy doing the robot (yuckers) for a robot. how oddd and scary can you get. it made me laugh.
thanks again madame.
Posted by Clockwork Ange on January 30, 2007, at 13:57:15
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
> yes, i was gone. i know, i know. you like to see me go, but you love to see me walk away.
>
> well, i must say, for the first time in the last hundred years, i had SERIOUS self-esteem issues. never in a zillion years would i thought it possible.
>
> now, i started my new meds. and mr kk and i went through some really hard times (but came out perfect!!!!). the boy was teething (and gave me my first momma kiss!).
>
> and i felt horrible. and i felt so ugly inside. and worthless. and that all i did was hurt everyone. and that everything i touched turned to poopie (you're welcome mister bob). and everything i heard was taken the wrong way. and everythign i said was taken the wrong way. and spoken the wrong way. and sounded snide. and sarcastic. and mean. and hateful. and that's all i heard.
>
> and i cried. (and yes, this is all about me. notice the 'i's'?) and i screamed. and everyone around me did too. and i didn't blame them. but i screamed louder. or i cried louder. or a combination of both.
>
> and the meds made me not able to communicate properly. and that, to me, is my one talent. my only talent. if that. to say 'phone' when one means 'lamp' does not make for a funny or clever story. there's nothing sarcastic about drooling and saying 'ummmm, your mom' 15 minutes after a long silence. and there's especially nothing strong about crying when explaining that 'i'm having one of those days when i just cry at snide comments so don't snap at me, ok? and i know it sucks because on those day s i snap too.' to be answered 'aren't those days everyday?' this from my sister who cries when i ask ehr to remember to let the dishwater out. so, she tries to make a joke, makes me cry, then she cries, that makes me feel even worse and i cry.
>
> this week sucked.
>
> but, i have never been cuter either :) i've worn pigtails all week long (hey dinah, are we twins tonight?). i've started doing my eye makeup differently and discovered the joy of filling in brows (boy, do they bring out my brown eyes.). i'm keeping my hair long, instead fo chopping it as i normally do.
>
> my mother laughed at my style of clothing and i replied 'laugh when i'm sending you the zillion dollar checks when i'm a fashion designer.' i have a feeling she'll still laugh. she's just not hip man.
>
> mr kk and i talked and fought and talked. i feel like our relationship is the best it's ever been. EVER! even when i was crazy! i think sometimes i forget (and i'm so very stupid to) how very much this man loves me. and i think he forgets how very much pressure that puts on me. i always use to wonder if people love me, or an idea of 'me'. i wondered that of him as well. i don't question that any longer. (but, it could be how very gorgeous i am too :) that's very understandable though.
>
> ok, ok, enough of my drivel. i wrote a poem today (ha ha mister bob. just where would you redirect this one? hmmmmm, relationship? writing? your own personal files? yes, i think that's it) to stick in mr kk's lunch (yes, i'm a decent wife. i write him notes for lunch almost everyday). here goes....
>
> roses are red
> violets are blue
> i love kk
> and so do you
>
> i think it's brilliant. i'm certain he does too.
>
> so, what did everyone else do this weekend? huh? other than completely forget about me? (enough of the guilt trip, huh?) and yes, i did feel abandonded on top of everything else
>
> (((kk))))
>
> oh, except a select few. not to mention names or anything
> gabbi
> cs
> auntie mel
> muff (is your name civil or what?)
> mister bob (you know what you did cowboy :)
> (((chatters))))
> seeing duckie in chat!!!!!
> kid for welcoming me back too (but nothing about me being gone? i'm hurt, accused, put down, old, blind, deaf and dumb and it's all your fault!)
>
> but, thank you guys so much for listening (reading, or not reading, doesn't matter), even through your own stuff. and you mister bob, those scrambled eggs were fantastic. they provided great leverage.
>
> and everyone who posted on admin. fayeroe, you know you're my first bride choice (sorry alex :(
> and i miss you ad. good lord woman, get in touch with me for crying out loud! at least pick up the phone and hang up on me or something!!!!
>
> and bobby, thank you for being bobby. i just like you. and i missed declan a whole lot. i missed a bunch of you guys. can you tell i'm lonely? :(
>
>
> not trying to make everyone else feel accused or put down and thanks everyone for the support, it's jsut been really rough since starting my new meds. i cry over spilt milk even :(
>
> there, i think i said all i needed to say! but, i reserve the right to add more at any time.I'm so glad you are back! I'm so I wasn't in touch (the guilt is killing me... oh great, now I have a guilt migraine... gah)
How are you today?
Posted by madeline on January 30, 2007, at 18:08:19
In reply to here goes my poopie mood... » alesta, posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 10:06:28
It sounds as though my former bride to be is having a tough time.
I know what the rollercoaster feels like and sometimes it is so hard to hang on - especially since these don't come with a safety harness.
Give yourself lots and lots of room to hurt, to feel fine, to just be who you are right now.
I'm sending good vibes your way.
I wish you peace.
Maddie
Posted by Jai Narayan on January 31, 2007, at 23:32:10
In reply to i am underwhelmed *guilt trigger*, posted by karen_kay on January 29, 2007, at 20:53:53
you knew I was catholic? we all respond to guilt...but seriously I have been reading your posts. Well miss kk you never proposed marriage to me? well, I guess that's just the way the diamond ring rolls.
dear heart, I'm pulling for you and your sweet family. I know you and we go back way back...you were so kind to me when I needed some kind words. I'm right back at ya...xoxoxo KK
been keeping you in my mind.
I only have eyes for you dear and your fingernails.
Jai
Posted by zenhussy on February 1, 2007, at 1:53:23
In reply to and my hussy..., posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 6:55:44
kk....we know mama needs new shoes and you've got that little man to take care of as well as the baby ;) so we'll get to workin' our walkin' just fer you.
you're sublime, sexy, sweet and sucha sis. kisses for our pimp!
your hussy at your service
do you have any cool compresses for your eyes after crying sweetpea? cucumbers to slice up and cool down those puffy crying eyes? eye pillow? beautiful boy's hand smooshing into your eye sockets?
anything, including street walkin', to help consider it done.
xmooches you married mamma
Posted by karen_kay on February 1, 2007, at 21:25:21
In reply to you leave us breathless..... » karen_kay, posted by zenhussy on February 1, 2007, at 1:53:23
that was just what i needed.
foudn myself wndering why i was cleaning everything. not sleeping. anxious. so much other stuff.
seeing a doc soon. now don't go worrying love, i'm fine. just crazy, like everyone else round here :)
thanks again. especialy the squishy eye part. that little duckie sure is precious. hey, i got my hair done today. i have bangs now. no more blonde at all. all brown. they even took a picture, in which i was winking. sure sign of mania, i usually shy from pictures.
Posted by philyra on February 2, 2007, at 16:03:24
In reply to i have to say.... » philyra, posted by karen_kay on January 30, 2007, at 9:51:37
karen_kay, i pronounce my name 'phil,' as in donahue, and then 'lie-rah.' accent on the "lie." as in down, not deceit.
sorry for the long delay in replying but i was blushing.
yours,
philyra
Posted by All Done on February 4, 2007, at 0:36:01
In reply to others soon, but... » zenhussy, posted by karen_kay on February 1, 2007, at 21:25:21
> foudn myself wndering why i was cleaning everything. not sleeping. anxious. so much other stuff.
>
> seeing a doc soon.I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time. I am around if you need anything.
> hey, i got my hair done today. i have bangs now. no more blonde at all. all brown.You can take the blonde out of the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the...wait, that's not right. You know what I mean. Or maybe you don't. Oh, forget it.
((((Miss Karen)))))
Lots of hugs,
LaurieP.S. You know, I always first type your name "Karne" by accident and then I think of Carne Asada. So, then I think about Mexican food. And naturally, that makes me think about margaritas. And then...well, that's about as far as I get. I really don't know what this has to do with anything, though.
Posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 6:47:07
In reply to Re: i have to say.... » karen_kay, posted by philyra on February 2, 2007, at 16:03:24
oh phillie,
oh phillie,
silly willly
who tastes like a dillybar.
i lovie
i lovie
a bun in
the ovie
it's cutie
it's cutie
a big ole putootie
butt.oh marrie
oh marrie
don't be so contraryand please say it ain't so
that you'd say noto me.
i had to watch that video again.
shoes.
don't you jsut hate when they run small?
especially when one is so tall?
how dare the makers have the gall?
to make me have fits a bawl?
like a baby?be my bride?
i'll not toss you aside?
or take you in stride.
as i find i do hide
behind these preposals so often.
Posted by philyra on February 7, 2007, at 14:48:04
In reply to oh phillie » philyra, posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 6:47:07
phillie's not so brideful
it has led to some awful
fights w/mr philliebut she'd reconsider
for a sparkling star
like youas long as the ring
will make her singps she likes pearls
and handcrafted blingxoxoxo
kk you make me
swoon
Posted by philyra on February 15, 2007, at 9:18:00
In reply to Re: oh kk » karen_kay, posted by philyra on February 7, 2007, at 14:48:04
kk, did i wait too long to answer your proposal?
don't break my heart
i'll surely despair
we'd only just start-
ed our little affair
Posted by karen_kay on February 15, 2007, at 9:37:03
In reply to Re: oh kk, posted by philyra on February 15, 2007, at 9:18:00
you lil silly
girlie wirlie
who sets my heart a twirliejust a busy
and a tizziedon't go worrying
or wurrying
perfectionlovies,
you sweet dovies
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.