![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 0:59:41
I love this baord and all the people I've met through it. However, after reading about so many people- not unlike myself - who are still suffering from depression for 10-20 years - I just have overwhelming loss of hope. I will be 35 in a couple months whihc will mark 16 years with this depression. I'm rotting away and I have no strength left.
I love you all
Jerry
Posted by Deneb on November 25, 2006, at 1:08:55
In reply to I'm at the end, posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 0:59:41
I love you too JerryPharmStudent. Please don't leave us. I'm sure there are many success stories out there. The meds board tends to select for the most treatment resistant cases. I know there are many people who have gotten better. Don't lose hope. There is hope for everyone.
Deneb*
Posted by zenhussy on November 25, 2006, at 8:18:29
In reply to I'm at the end, posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 0:59:41
Jerry,
Depression is a tinted filter which can alter almost all perceptions and senses. This post from you shows the extremes to which this filter can reach.
When posting here several years back during the midst of major depressive episodes we were certain that we had no future, no hope, no chance, no friends, no real life. We posted that refrain over and over. Fortunately we met up with a wide variety of folks who gently stuck with us through these rough times and reminded us that we would NOT always be feeling as we did in that moment. Of course we did not belive these friends. Of course we did everything we could to disprove them.
After several years, different psychopharmacologists, psychiatrists, therapists and other professionals we're able to SEE the filters that were so pervasive when depression RULED OUR LIFE.
Why did we listen to strangers over the Internet when we were at our lowest? Because the extent of our depression and other diseases/disorders made IRL support difficult to handle or believe. Somehow the online support from those our age, younger, and those many years older helped.
It helped us to know others HAVE BEEN IN OUR SHOES AND KNOW THE FIT FAR TOO WELL!!! They were able to tell us the toes were too tight and the heel rubbed and the laces were broken. How could they have known those things if they hadn't lived through the same miseries themselves?
A pre-coffee way of saying that somehow, someway the folks here and elsewhere over the years helped us remain alive through the darkest of the depression, the worst of the suicidal ideation, and the nights of howling in pain due to there not being any other way to express total despair.
Lean on the strength of others who have walked this path before you and those who continue to walk alongside of you. Sometimes the tinted filters make it hard to see that there are MANY around us who care and are able to help in ways we couldn't have imagined. Depression makes imagination rather impossible....that is the ability to belive that the future CAN BE DIFFERENT AND BETTER THAN THIS MOMENT of icky depression.
Keep reaching out Jerry. Keep reading those who holler to ya wondering where you are. Keep going one day at a time, one moment at a time.
When asked how we survived our darkest times?
We relied upon the kindess of strangers and the time tested and hard earned life lessons of those who have lived with the disease longer than we had. Those younger and with less years under their belts often had sage advice when we took our fingers out of our ears, swallowed our pride and actually listened.Not sure what it will take to keep you going through this Jerry but this rambly post is our way of putting forth our energies to you and letting you know you matter to us, you count, and you're worth what it takes to get better, get well, get some measure of your life, as you determine it, back.
kindly,
--zh>>> I love this baord and all the people I've met through it. However, after reading about so many people- not unlike myself - who are still suffering from depression for 10-20 years - I just have overwhelming loss of hope. I will be 35 in a couple months whihc will mark 16 years with this depression. I'm rotting away and I have no strength left.
I love you all
Jerry <<<
Posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2006, at 12:20:19
In reply to Re: I'm at the end » JerryPharmStudent, posted by zenhussy on November 25, 2006, at 8:18:29
60yrs old and my body is falling apart on top of the psych stuff so you're in a better place. You are young. Love Phillipa
Posted by Lindenblüte on November 25, 2006, at 13:05:31
In reply to Re: I'm at the end, posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2006, at 12:20:19
Jerry,
sounds really hard right now.I know you've been fighting for so long. Have you had weeks or months when you feel yourself getting better? Surely you haven't been on a constant slide for 16 years.
try to hold out for more of the "good days". Switch something up. New T, New Pdoc, life change, med change, get a kitty?
I don't want you to leave either. I know I'm feeling much better these days, so I wish I could reach out to you and pull you to a happier place.
Thinking of you,
-Li
Posted by madeline on November 25, 2006, at 14:01:40
In reply to I'm at the end, posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 0:59:41
I've been at the end too. But I am doing much much much better.
There is always hope.
I think a big part of it is just giving yourself permission to feel like total crap.
And know that it is okay. Just kind of recognize that you feel like total crap, relax against it and tell yourself, it is okay to feel this way.
The constant fighting against yourself can be exhausting.
I let go of the reigns a little bit, quit trying to feel like million bucks every day and just became more accepting of the person that I am and it has really helped.
I guess it is "zen and the art of depression" but there is something to it.
Hey man, you got up today, you turned on the computer, you reached out. You're making it.Keep posting this time and let us know how you are.
Maddie
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 18:56:56
In reply to Re: I'm at the end, posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2006, at 12:20:19
> 60yrs old and my body is falling apart on top of the psych stuff so you're in a better place. You are young. Love Phillipa
No offense - but I may be young but my life is non-existant - no friends, no lovers, nothing. One of the horrors is thinking I will still be this way when I'm 70 or 80 if I live that long.
I miss my life.
Posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2006, at 19:10:12
In reply to Re: I'm at the end » Phillipa, posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 18:56:56
Jerry I do understand. My point is being young there are so many years for you with new treatments coming out every day. And you will be able to experience them. And I'm you're friend. I may be older and in cyberland. But I care for you and seriously we need pharmacists that know and care and you fit that ticket. And you know I am here for you all the time. Love Phillipa ps babble your meds. Do you have my e-mail? If not babblemail me and I'll give it to you.
Posted by Declan on November 26, 2006, at 12:51:03
In reply to Re: I'm at the end » Phillipa, posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 25, 2006, at 18:56:56
It's amazing what we have to (or manage to) live without, sometimes. This society seems almost to produce loneliness.
It makes such a difference to have friends, not to speak of lovers. It beats me why it should be so difficult.
There are enough lonely people around.
Posted by Lindenblüte on November 26, 2006, at 19:41:20
In reply to Re: I'm at the end, posted by Declan on November 26, 2006, at 12:51:03
Jerry, how are you doing today?
*
I'm really bad at this stuff. Sorry if I make you feel worse.yours,
-Li* I wrote about 12 different sentiments here, but I deleted them all. Sounded lame and cheesy. Still wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, though. So, I won't delete the whole post.
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on November 27, 2006, at 0:59:55
In reply to Re: I'm at the end, posted by Lindenblüte on November 26, 2006, at 19:41:20
> Jerry, how are you doing today?
> *
> I'm really bad at this stuff. Sorry if I make you feel worse.
>
> yours,
> -Li
>
> * I wrote about 12 different sentiments here, but I deleted them all. Sounded lame and cheesy. Still wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, though. So, I won't delete the whole post.I'm doing ok today - hanging in there..the nights are the wrost tho....thanks for you message.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.