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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 15:42:36
In reply to Re: ^First part for SD, the rest a question for al » MidnightBlue, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 14:23:43
I had heard of this, but never realized how much the term describes me before. I did a search for 'getting over crushes' and I found this forum (http://www.aimoo.com/forum/freeboard.cfm?id=319094&NoCaches=Yes) that's for 'Highly Sensitive People'. I could identify with what they were saying so well! They agreed that the HSP crushes harder than the adverage person. I actually feel kind of relieved. I get so sick of being considered inmature because I feel things so strongly.
Another site I looked on said it was genetic (http://www.hsperson.com). It said
• This trait is normal--it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals.
• Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties. Your sight, hearing, and sense of smell are not necessarily keener (although they may be). But your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply.
• Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed.
----------
So have any of you heard of this? What do you think about it? I always knew I was more sensitive than most people, but I never thought about it being genetic. I always felt it was a failing of some kind on my part.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 15:50:58
In reply to Highly Sensitive Person, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 15:42:36
http://www.highlysensitivesouls.com/articles/sensitivesouls.htm
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 19:43:32
In reply to Highly Sensitive Person, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 15:42:36
I think I now have another disease. Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:49:28
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 19:43:32
Actually they say its not so much a disease as a different type of person than the majority. Normal, just not adverage. In fact, maybe even above adverage. Maybe we're how humans were meant to be and all the rest are the mutants. ;-) In any case, I am in it with you!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:54:29
In reply to Re: ^First part for SD, the rest a question for all^ » TexasChic, posted by MidnightBlue on November 7, 2006, at 13:52:33
>You got a great new job and are working out now in the gym. If you can do that you can improve your social/dating life!
It's funny, I never really think people pay any attention to what I write until they respond. So its surprising (in a nice way) that someone actually knows something about me. Thanks for caring enough to keep up with my 'high school drama' of a life. ;-)
-T
Posted by Declan on November 7, 2006, at 20:27:18
In reply to Highly Sensitive Person, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 15:42:36
Just dropping in here looking for info on coolboy.
I don't so much think as ruminate. What is it with people who complain about rumination? (wusses) It's not always that much fun, admittedly, but what do you expect? I have really intense reactions to people and will see someone and feel quite weak. (Sounds very Death in Venice) Well, we're meant to fall in love, just like we're meant to worship, some biological thingo, some being more prone to it than others.
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:32:07
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » TexasChic, posted by Declan on November 7, 2006, at 20:27:18
Do you even find yourself looking at someone and having this overwhelming sense of emptiness for that person? I don't know how to explain it. It's like a feeling of sadness or something towards another person, a complete stranger, that just envelopes me at times. It's like someone has taken a syringe and sucked the life right out of me when I get that feeling. It's weird and unnerving.
> Just dropping in here looking for info on coolboy.
>
> I don't so much think as ruminate. What is it with people who complain about rumination? (wusses) It's not always that much fun, admittedly, but what do you expect? I have really intense reactions to people and will see someone and feel quite weak. (Sounds very Death in Venice) Well, we're meant to fall in love, just like we're meant to worship, some biological thingo, some being more prone to it than others.
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 20:50:56
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » TexasChic, posted by Declan on November 7, 2006, at 20:27:18
I like to think that someday I'll meet that guy who finds my intense feelings as something special and unique. And then he'll sweep me off my feet and take me to his villa in the south of France where I'll be a princess.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 20:57:08
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:32:07
Could you be psychic and picking up how that person feels? A new career for you. I want to be first. love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 20:58:08
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Declan, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 20:50:56
Can I come and be the Queen? Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 21:06:11
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 20:58:08
You'd be a WONDERFUL mother in law! Okay, I'm princess, you're queen, and Deneb is the poor younger princess that can't be married off until her spinster sister is (poor Deneb). Now for the prince, that has to be Declan who's always been so sweet. So who's the King? I think that would be your choice Philipa.
-T
Posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 21:29:51
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » SatinDoll, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 11:35:54
>
> I think the reason all this keeps sticking with me is he made it sound like I have been behaving like an inmature little girl (when here I thought I was confiding in him). So its not only the fact that it bothers me to know someone thinks of me that way, but I also have to wonder if its true! I know I am socially behind when it comes to guys and dating. So now I feel like I've made a complete fool out of myself. And I can't help but wonder if he shared any of this with cuteboy. How do I stop these things from going round and round in my head?
>
Becuz' you're worried about not only 'cuteboy', but 'friend' and it sounds like 'maybe others'(?), you're prob' right about this OSP (Was that it.. Overly? Or was it Very Sensitive People; I'll have to read about it.) I'm very sensitive, most especially when it comes to relationships with men. I can read things into a body movement! And, then I'm convinced I'm right ... really. Big time sensitive!I hang on and hang on long after should have let go, hate being left by one and also hate leaving one (Want them to stay 'my friend'; yeah right!).
There's a good book that might help you through this if you can make yourself read it. It's only about a half inch paperback called **Telling Yourself the Truth** by William Backus, Marie Chapian.
Oh yeah ... I've been there. I wish I'd had here. I'm hurting over 'icecreamman' being gone, but I'd been preparing myself for quite a while. I'll prob' really lose it in a week or so when I can really feel that he's not coming back. Might need to read my book again!
I hadn't read about your guy until this thread. Sorry.
When what's happened to you, happens to me, I cry and cry, take breaks to hide-out, and create a real dramarama for anyone near me. My fam' got used to it. I swear ... something used to go wrong @ home w/ my whole fam' of origin, and they'd wait for 'ME TO REACT' and 'CREATE AN EITHER EXCITED OR ARGUMENTATIVE APPROACH', and then instead of them dealing w/ it themselves, they could put it aside and jump all over me. Weird?!
It's late ... your prob' in bed.
Hang on hon'. It's okay to feel terribly sad. He's hurt you horribly. I'd like tah ... a;gioa b[a90truqNF BMOAP[GHE MQOEHDfubb ... him! (Can't put it into real words!)
Think 'bout book.
cf
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:17
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » dreamboat_annie, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 20:57:08
I think it would be such a huge burden emotionally to actually, truly be psychic. And, I would end up even more nuts than I already am LOL. Somebody told me that I am just very intuitive. I have been since I was a kid. One of my friends from work used to freak out when I would ask her what was bothering her because it really wasn't obvious that she was having a bad day, but there was just something different about her - the tone of her voice, her mannerisms, etc., that signalled to me that she was off that day, and she said she couldn't believe how much I pick up on people's moods, etc. I don't like it much because I really get affected by subtle mood changes and worry and stuff. Sometimes I think I have done something to make someone mad or whatever. Pretty self-centered, huh?!?!?
> Could you be psychic and picking up how that person feels? A new career for you. I want to be first. love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:50:53
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 21:06:11
T I think we'll make Jay the King. Jay do you like that? You now wear a crown on your head. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:57:06
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:17
Probably would be. I think you're kind and see when someone doesn't feel well, expressions, how they hold themselves, and mannerisms. It's a good person that sees these things. A good friend is hard to find. Love Phillipa
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 22:08:52
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » dreamboat_annie, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 21:57:06
Thanks, Phillipa. You're a kind-hearted soul. You have a way of making people feel welcome.
> Probably would be. I think you're kind and see when someone doesn't feel well, expressions, how they hold themselves, and mannerisms. It's a good person that sees these things. A good friend is hard to find. Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 3:56:43
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:32:07
I do. I often wonder if it's envy, although envy leads to destruction, so that doesn't seem quite right, or amazement at my seperateness, about the fact of this person in front of me, or maybe (as I get older) a sense of wonder at the beauty (and fragility) of younger people. But yes, like emptiness. This hasn't got anything to do with projective identification, has it?
But maybe it's not so odd. We take our existence for granted much of the time.
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:46:23
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » Phillipa, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 21:33:17
Wow, its almost like you're quoting the book "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You". Here's the self test (its true or false):
----------------------------
Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you personally feel. Check the box if it is at least somewhat true for you; leave unchecked if it is not very true or not at all true for you.
- I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.- I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
- Other people's moods affect me.
- I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
- I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
- I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
- I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
- I have a rich,complex inner life.
- I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
- I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
- My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
- I am conscientious.
- I startle easily.
- I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
- When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
- I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
- I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
- I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
- I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
- Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
- Changes in my life shake me up.
- I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
- I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
- I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
- I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
- When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
- When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
Scoring:
If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.If fewer questions are true of you, but extremely true, that might also justify calling you highly sensitive.
----------------------------How weird is it that I already had this book at home but hadn't gotten around to reading it?
Oh and BTW, I had to stay home from work today. We are really slow right now & the thought of spending another 8 hours sitting there trying not to think about things made me feel as if I was going to have a panic attack. I just told my boss my stomach was bothering me (which it was). It's the first time I've ever called in sick, and I wouldn't have done it if I felt it would jepordize my job. They're pretty easy going about that, especially when its not in our busy time. It just seemed like I needed to take some time out for me.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:51:35
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » TexasChic, posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 21:29:51
Thanks corafree. What you described of your family life sounds familiar. Its nice to know I'm not alone.
I'm going to check out that book too. Sounds like something that would be good for me.
-T
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 16:22:21
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » corafree, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:51:35
No, you're not alone. Answered most ? yes, but there were a small handful that were a no. I put in ear plugs if I'm feeling down and hear laughing outside, or @ bedtime as 'the quiet' makes me lonelier. I know; what did I just say?
Awoke to a persecution nightmare. I made that up.
For me, it's when someone from my past, usually male, less female, ... laughing in my face, walking away from me w/ nose in air, pointing at me and laughing, being left behind, being put down or told I'm not good enough, being abandoned.
I have a lot of these nightmares.
I'll give this another try @ link to Amazon.
I wish I could get angry @ ICM, but I feel so sad, sad enuf' for both of us!
cf
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 16:59:38
In reply to Re: I woke up sad » TexasChic, posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 16:22:21
Don't be sad, we're okay, just misunderstood (especially by ourselves).
-T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 17:57:32
In reply to Re: Highly Sensitive Person » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 13:46:23
I am going to check out that book! A lot of the things listed apply to me, but I can honestly say that change doesn't bother me, I don't have to arrange my life to avoid stress or unpleasant situations, I don't get frazzled easily, especially when I have lots to do, I don't get overwhelmed and have to withdraw when there is a lot going on, I don't get annoyed when people want me to do too many things at once and I have a pretty high threshold for physical pain. I love it when I have too much to do and the adrenaline is pumping and everybody around me is energized and animated. I get more frazzled when there is too much down time and I'm not juggling 10 things at once. I've worked in a political environment for over 15 years, and it is usually crazy busy. I can't imagine working in any other kind of environment. But, when I'm home, I enjoy solitude - me and my music. I get unnerved by complete silence.
I'm sorry you had to stay home from work today
:-( I hope you are starting to feel better. People can be thoughtless and insensitive sometimes, and I'm sorry that you had to bear the brunt of another's thoughtlessness and lack of empathy. Hope tomorrow turns out to be a better day.
> Wow, its almost like you're quoting the book "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You". Here's the self test (its true or false):
>
> ----------------------------
> Instructions: Answer each question according to the way you personally feel. Check the box if it is at least somewhat true for you; leave unchecked if it is not very true or not at all true for you.
>
> - I am easily overwhelmed by strong sensory input.
>
> - I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.
>
> - Other people's moods affect me.
>
> - I tend to be very sensitive to pain.
>
> - I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.
>
> - I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine.
>
> - I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells,coarse fabrics,or sirens close by.
>
> - I have a rich,complex inner life.
>
> - I am made uncomfortable by loud noises.
>
> - I am deeply moved by the arts or music.
>
> - My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.
>
> - I am conscientious.
>
> - I startle easily.
>
> - I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.
>
> - When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).
>
> - I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
>
> - I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.
>
> - I make a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows.
>
> - I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me.
>
> - Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me,disrupting my concentration or mood.
>
> - Changes in my life shake me up.
>
> - I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.
>
> - I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.
>
> - I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.
>
> - I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
>
> - When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.
>
> - When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.
>
> Scoring:
> If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.
>
> If fewer questions are true of you, but extremely true, that might also justify calling you highly sensitive.
> ----------------------------
>
> How weird is it that I already had this book at home but hadn't gotten around to reading it?
>
> Oh and BTW, I had to stay home from work today. We are really slow right now & the thought of spending another 8 hours sitting there trying not to think about things made me feel as if I was going to have a panic attack. I just told my boss my stomach was bothering me (which it was). It's the first time I've ever called in sick, and I wouldn't have done it if I felt it would jepordize my job. They're pretty easy going about that, especially when its not in our busy time. It just seemed like I needed to take some time out for me.
>
> -T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
In reply to Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 3:56:43
I'm not usually an envious person, although I do have my moments :-) And, I had wondered if it was projection, but the feeling is different I think. It's more like when I look at people going about their day, I start thinking about the age-old, unanswerable question - what is it all about, what's our purpose in life? I wonder about a person's struggles and how hard it can be for some, maybe all. I think we would all like to believe that we have make some kind of a difference, even if it is just in one person's life, but sometimes it seems like people are just sad or disillusioned and beaten down by life and all the twists and turns - especially when you catch them unaware. It seems like everybody is trying to be successful (oh yeah, and, how do you measure success?), achieve happiness and contentment, be social and be accepted . . . And, yet . . . I think about how disconnected we all are (over-generalization, I know) and how we go through life in our own little worlds, only getting close to a select few and being satisfied with that. Walking down the street, or standing in an elevator or sitting on the bus and being reluctant or uncomfortable or both to make eye contact with strangers. I don't know. I feel such a sense of emptiness (not even sure if that is the feeling) sometimes, not for myself though, when I start thinking about how we get up each day and try to make something out of our lives. How we try to deal with the demons of the past while trying to hold the demons of the future at bay, all the while trying to feel like we belong, we matter and our lives have some meaning. I know I'm not making sense. It's hard to articulate the emotions. Oh well, I got that off my chest. Sorry this was so long.
> I do. I often wonder if it's envy, although envy leads to destruction, so that doesn't seem quite right, or amazement at my seperateness, about the fact of this person in front of me, or maybe (as I get older) a sense of wonder at the beauty (and fragility) of younger people. But yes, like emptiness. This hasn't got anything to do with projective identification, has it?
>
> But maybe it's not so odd. We take our existence for granted much of the time.
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
In reply to Re: Maybe » Declan, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 8, 2006, at 18:12:20
Just think how it would be if we never had any challanges! It would be so boring! I think 'what its all about' is being happy, feeling love, and the constant accumalation of knowledge.
Either that or its the hokey pokey.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:24:00
In reply to Re: Maybe » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 8, 2006, at 18:20:55
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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